The Boozehound

[ Sunday, February 17, 2002 ]

Well Friday wasnt that great. Nothing really seemed to happen. Had a few drinks in spoons. Not much going on in there. Went to Porters, just as dull. Ah well, you get weekends like that now and then, have to take the good with the bad though eh ?

Today has been the swine, been dong college work all day, infact this is the first thing Ive done which isnt college work at all today. Thrilling. Loan applications a go go as well today, filled out that for university. Bored, tired. Time to get locked into Day of Defeat for a bit then get some sleep. Get to finish an essay when I get up.

Blaggard [10:27 PM]

[ Thursday, February 14, 2002 ]

It was a werid one on Tuesday night.

Spoons was the first port of call where we got into the drink.
Me, Mudie, Ears, Fuckup Jones, Snead and Clowe.

We just had the one in here a do a quick mini crawl before heading up to this college party. There was a bit of a domestic going down in here. A guy and gal at each others throats. No one was paying any attention. Then no one really ever does, such things arent worth the hassle. We left to go off to the King Edward round the corner. Clowe fucked off home, he wasnt down with the partying business. We went over to Mudies car.

Mudies car is a superior machine. The stero on this fucker is tremendous. His boot is compeltly taken up by the amp and woofers, this is one hell of a set up. 20 gig MP3 player, absoultly no skipping. It should come with a health warning. My ears felt like they were bleeding after a few minutes in this beast, the sound quality was excellent. We tore round to the King Edward to find the pool room rammed so we had a quick beer and left. Next stop was the Nelson. No car parking spaces.
The Hasbury Inn was the next in line. Ah yes the Hasbury Inn, the latest business aquistion by the Fish family. There were 2 people in there besides us, one a serious gambling junkie, he was pumping the cash heavily into the fruit machine. We on the other hand were pumping it into the pool table. Got a few drinks down.

It was time to head up the party. The location of this event was a nightclub called Eclipse. There has been quite a lot of heaviness happening in that place over the last few months. A few stabbings and the like. The music was blasting heavily all the way there, Mudie wanted to show off his sound system. He wanted to pull up in style outside and drop us off with the music blaring. 100m from the front door. The amp overheated.

So he stopped 100m from the club and waited for it to cool down. Eventually we got there.
Inside and checked our coats in the cloakroom, Id never been in a place where you can check your coat before.

Mudie caught up with us after going to park the car and then we entered the main arena. It was not like I had expecting. This place was pretty large, not really in the width but in the vertical. This place had 3 floors.

To the bar. I drank two Buds at a time. Well fuck, why not?
Some guy was smoking pot next to us. The bouncer nabbed him but did nothing. Matt ambled past. I was surprised to see him there after the previous nights events. He was dancing hard but he said felt to ill to drink. Drink would have probably made him feel better, temporarily at least.

After a bit we switched bars, there about 4 in there. 3 downstairs and a VIP bar. You could do a bar crawl without leaving the building. We got another drink there.
I sat down on a stool. Snead started freaking me out. He swings his around close to the face almost headbutting me in an attempt to freak me out. He does it all the time. Yet it did freak me out and we ended up headbutting each other, I knew it would happen one day. It cut the bridge of his nose and didnt stop bleeding all night. I didnt have a scratch on me, not even a headache.

We went up to the platform above. Everyone disappered and Ears pulled some slag. So for a while I was there byself. I took loads of photos then went for a walk. I walked all around the place.

The toilet was a nasty place. There was vomit all over it. Werid fuckers in there as well. One drunk guy grabbed me and started telling me all about his night. This always happens to me. Drunks always seem to feel the need to tell me everything. This guy was telling me how fucked up he was feeling. I too was very drunk by this time. We did a load of drunken speil.

Fast forward through another hour of me getting more drunk and then it was time to go. Mudie went to get the car. We took off with style leaving fuck up behind. Zoomed round the streets with the stero booming. Headed down to the waterfront to the Burger Van where I got myself a big ole hot dog. We talked with a load of people round that place, there was another college party going on. Off into the night we went again. Back to Eclipse and picked up Fuckup. He hung out of the sun roof as we drove around the streets.
We dropped people off along the way. Mudie had a bad attack of cramp and jumped out the car and ran around for a bit.
That is about it.

It turns out Sneads nose was broken and spent this morning in hospital. That brings the number of people I have hospitalised up to 2.

The disposable camera I took with me was finished, It was used the night before as well. I dred to see what photos Ive taken with it.

This post was niether proof read or spell checked.
Blaggard [11:05 PM]

[ Tuesday, February 12, 2002 ]

The more I think about it the more of a tramp I am becoming.

I rarely shave.
I once regularly used a t-shirt which I dubbed "The Sweat Rag"
Last night I carried a cup around with me to spit in.

What next? Drinking from the bar drip tray?
Only time will tell.
Blaggard [1:33 PM]

Fuck me I am hungover like a bastard.

I tell you. Last night was done to the excess. I woke up at 4 this morning in my chair completly at a loss as how I got here. Someone gave me a lift home but I barely remember it.

Matt was fucked up. Most of the night he spent lying on a chair vomiting into a yellow bowl. At one point he rolled of the couch thing and fell into the bowl of vomit. The amount of shots that were crammed down him was pretty high though. Mixed shots. These fuckers contained some fowl things. Vodka, orange vodka stuff, bitter, lager. He did about 8 of these in quick succession. I never actaully witnessed it happen, I was out the back having a smoke at the time.

When I did come back in though he didnt look to well. I told him to make himself sick or he would be fucked. Needless to say he didnt, who would make themselves sick afterall. But as I said, he was sick in the end. I took some photos of it, for the sake of permament record.

And I feel sick now. I could really go for some bacon.

It appears I also brought a ticket to the college party tonight. That should be a laugh a fucking minute. Especially as I have little cash. To late to moan about it though I suppose, got a good deal on the tickets. Ah you know what, fuck it. Money comes and goes. Break the bank. Get down with the madness. How I am going to stay awake though fuck only knows. Have to crack into the stimulants.
Blaggard [10:17 AM]

[ Monday, February 11, 2002 ]

I need to have a fucking shave.

Most of the time I look like a tramp, my face always looks like there is four days of growth on it even if Ive just had a shave. For that reason I really cant be fucked to shave anymore. Of course this has no relavance anything really.

I will be attending a birthday party this evening and in all likelyhood wont be back till lunchtime tomorrow. Im expecting high levels of madness. I have quite a sizeable stockpile of booze left over from christmas. Half a case of Fosters and a few bottles of the Krone. As this is written I am in communication with one of my comrades to arrange an early start in spoons, get a bite to eat and crack into the drink.

By the time Ive been to the off licience I should have enough booze to floor me twice. A good pile of the smokeables as well.
Hopefully it should take me a while to get drunk. It has been a long time since Ive been engaged in such a lengthy drinking session. So to prepare most of last night I was sipping on a glass of the good whiskey. If that dont get the liver ready for the onslaught then nothing will.
Blaggard [10:56 AM]

[ Saturday, February 09, 2002 ]

I am in the fucking pain this morning.

But as usual it is all my fault and is something I do not regret. It all started as the usual Friday night with a few pints in the local J.D Wetherspoons. A place Ive gotten to know a little too well over the last few months. Nothing overly special happened in this place was extremly busy and we just talked about the issues of the day. Our good comrade Bill had departed on this morning for a week or so In Austria skiing. I am sure he will have a few steins of the Austrian brew. Anyway. Dave was telling me about a pub just round the corner where they apparently sold Hobgoblin. Our Friday nights of late have turned into a quest to find that notorius brew they call Hobgoblin. The place he had heard rumours about was called the Wagon and Horses, not to far from where we were now. Within walking distance, but Ears wanted to drive. Not everyone was into this trip though. Jones, Fish and Ref stayed in Spoons to head of down to Porters later, where we would meet them.

So there it was Me, Dave, Ears, Snead and Clowe of on into the night in search of the Hobgoblin. We zoomed around in Ear's automoblie overshooting the pub and ending up in another down the road called King Edward. This place was quite nice. The bar staff were nice to us as well, they opened up the pool room in the back just so we could have a few games. We just had the one beer in here. Pool is an amazing game to play in the state I was in. Colour spheres rolling about all over the place, it was excellent. Anyway after that one beer we headed down to the Wagon and Horses.


Yes it was a dive, only way to explain the place. But then I am known for my preference to dives. This place however was full of people 45+ years old and dogs. The cainine sort, not ugly women. There were dogs running about this place. Anyway, I enquired about the Hobgoblin, they didnt have any. The quest was thwarted for another week. So I had a pint of Robinsons Robin I think it was callled. Was not a bad brew. Due to our young age the bar staff were watching us intently, it was greatly unerving. The Fear was creeping upon me. As soon as I finished my pint I got outside and waited for everyone else.

Everyone else came along and we headed down to Porters. Yes Porters once again. The filthiest drug ridden hole of depravity around this down. On this evening we got in on the prostituion business. There was some Asian guy in there, he looked pretty well off. Ref was telling me that he had paid this girl for a bit of the oral sex. We are talking about a young girl here. To be honest Im not even sure if she was 18. But then 16 is the age of consent in this land so I dont suppose it matters, she was at least 16. I think. I had walked in on the middle of the business. Jones was not aware of what had happened and Ref had been egging him on into getting a bit of tounge action with her. The chap who had paid for her twigged on to what we were doing as well and joined in. Jones never did get any action it would have been pretty fucking foul if he did. Was hilarious to watch it though.

By this time I was drunk. Very drunk. We left Porters, me and Clowe headed towards the Chinese take away. We talked politics again, I think it was asylum seekers. For once we had a sensible debate. Well sort off. I threatened to punch him on several occasions infact I think I did hit him the once as well. In the end I think we agreed that we both have different views which are in some ways both valid. At least that is way I remeber it. We both had some chips.

As we walked out Ears pulled up in his automobile. We calamboured in. Driving around various places dropping people off. Ref munched through my chips.

Got home. Didnt eat the chips as I felt sick. Went to bed.

There is going to be alot of madness this coming week I think. Half-term at college is upon us now you see. Nothing to do but get drunk, or high, and eat chinese food. Except of course college work. But I wouldent be a proper student If I actaully did any of that.
Blaggard [10:25 AM]

[ Wednesday, February 06, 2002 ]

Well it has been a long fucking day. Me and my comrades booked up a holiday today.

It looks my punk ass is going back to that fearful place Playa Das Americas. Me and Clowe are returning and taking a few others with us. Clowe is a little over excited by it. Probably wont be as much fun as the first time, me and Clowe know the score out there now. How to work it, where the cheapest smokes are and the best bars. Yet this time it is peak season and it is Club 18-30, how can we not have an insanely good fucking time. Only probably is we gotta fly from manchester, which is quite a way from here. That should be as much fun as herpes. Nevermind though.

Ah yes. In my computing class at college something funny happened. As we were changing rooms the lecturer told everyone to get off. Some chap already then followed it with:

"Yeah I get off, in the shower, in my bed, in the college toilets. In here as well sometimes when people arent watching"

We were all suitable freaked out.

I also reversed the car over a small birck structure by accident. It was making werid rattling noises after that. I am a menace behind that wheel.
Blaggard [6:44 PM]

[ Monday, February 04, 2002 ]

Yes Saturday night ended up being quite interesting. As I exectred Dave was pretty fucked up by the time I got to the pub.
Ref turned up and we all went out to his girlfreinds freinds birthday. She was underage so it was a dice or nothing. The Button Factory is where it was held, just a load of people in the pub really. Fish got very drunk, he was doing double shots of vodka pretty much all night. Dave was singing George Formby songs. Quite hilarious.
Half the people in the pub were patrons from the RockCafe. Yea, there were alot of underage people in there. Not quite as bad as other places I have been though. We all decided to go to Porters later. By the time we got there it was shut. Me and Clowe had to walk there, no space left in any cars. We thought it was open till late. Everyone else had gone elsewhere.

I was pretty fucked anyway so I geuss it really didnt matter. Went home and got shouted by some crazy fucker in thre street.
Blaggard [7:35 PM]

[ Saturday, February 02, 2002 ]

Ah yes. I fianlly started to drive again today after a 6 month break. You see I suck really bad when it comes to operating automobiles correctly. My old driving instructer was The Cunt as well. This time however I am been taught by the Crone. Yes my mother. As there is no duel controls I can pretty much do whatever the fuck I want. I seem to better already at it than I used to be.

It looks like something is planned for the evening as well. I was getting ready to sit around alright night playing on the ole playstation and watching films but it appears things are going down. About five minutes ago I recieved a call which with all the jibber jabber removed from it stated:

"Come and get fucked up with us"

Who am I to refuse. Infact the two who phoned me have been drinking pretty much all afternoon and pretty fucked up already. This should make for a crazy night when they get lose. So anyway I did the only thing I could to prepare for such an event, cracked into the lagers. The only way to deal with the sort of madness Im expecting tonight is be pretty fucked up.

Ah. Viva.
Blaggard [6:22 PM]

Another Friday night has come and gone. This one was heading into the dark pit of disaster but luckily was saved from destruction. Most of the day at college we had been fucking around and wondering what we were gonna be doing on the night. Ref and Fish had gone into Birmingham centre for some madness the night before. Not a place I like to frequent. I hadent even been through the place in years until a few days ago when I went to get those computer parts. Infact the last timeI think I was there was that shit party the council organized for the millennium. Yea that was bollocks. One of those nights that went from bad to worse. It was a massive open area part in the centre called Centinary Square, drinking was prohibited and been the underage scrots we were at the time we had drink in every pocket. Security busted one of us drinking a bottle of vodka. Like true friends the rest of us pretended we didn’t know him. They just threw him in the corner away from the television cameras. So we all joined them and got drunk. There were loads of us in that corner, we all got recorded for TV as well.
I tell you the music was awful, had a few good bands on at first. Everyone was getting in the party spirit. Then they stuck on some big name, but highly shit, pop group called the Honeyz. Or something like that. The crowds move crashed quicker Wall Street in the 30's. Only the seven year olds were excited. That bit was kind of funny actually. They were trying to get the crowd to participate, which the seven year olds did do, but the majority were just silently staring at them. Wishing for a weapon, any kind of weapon, just to stop them.

But all that does not really detail last night now does it. In the end as we didnt think there were going to be many of us we decided on a small crawl. Starting as usual in the local spoons, then the Woodman and finishing in The Sun. More people turned up than expected so we cut the woodman out of the trip. Ears drove us to the sun in two lots. First me, Ref and Fuckup Jones got there. Overpriced beer, a completely no smoking pub and everyone was about 45. Fuck. When Ears turned up with the other lot he drove us down to Porters. I had originally gone there in the hope of a brew called Hobgoblin. A fine ale which you can never find on tap. They had stopped doing it. Getting the fuck out of there was high on the agenda I tell you.

So we got the Porters. I had been hoping to avoid this place after last weeks incident. But somehow we nearly always end up in this hole. Who am I to deny the will of the Great Magnet. The DJ had been demoted and was now a lowly barman. How I laughed. Me and Jones got up to the bar to get a drink and Ref went for a piss. Ref came out of there looking shook up. He told us there was some chap in there grabbing everyone’s ass when you took a piss. In a place like this the man would be lying bleeding in the gutter if he kept that up. We sat down behind the new DJ and waited for everyone else. There was a chap next to us in a pretty paralytic state, he kept slipping in out and of the waking world. Good on the man.

I went for a piss. I walked in there right into the middle of a crazy argument about drugs. Three guys, drugged up to the eyeballs. I think one of them was just on the pot, he seemed very chilled out. Infact I knew the man once, a long time ago. The other two were very irate and angry. Coke probably. When walking in on this kind of thing it is best to ignore it entirely, pretend they aren’t even there. They left pretty quickly, they sorted out their differences without violence. Which is unusual in this place.

The others turned up and the last half hour or so consisted of me swearing at Clowe and drinking more booze. That whole Sun business was a bit of a fuck up, but it turned out alright in the end.

Blaggard [10:16 AM]