The Boozehound

[ Saturday, June 29, 2002 ]


The BBC included my comments I made about the police in foreign countries in an article about the so called bad behaviour of Brits abroad.
The majority of the board is full of 40 year old fuckin Nazis who go insane at the idea of people getting drunk and get this swearing. I think they want everyone to sit around and drink tea all day long. I hate people like that, they really never did learn how to live life. Moaning on about "good manners". Well if anyone like that ever reads this Id just like to say:

Big fucking cunts you stupid Nazi cunt. Piss off and get a life. Did that make you wince, cuntface?

I have fun doing what I do. I dont harm anyone, Ive never attacked anyone. What the fuck does it matter If I start shouting on the street at night. You people need to lighten the fuck up, stop reading the Daily Mail and learn that just cause people get drunk and swear alot doesnt mean our culture has gone to the dogs. Maybe you should go on one of those fuckin holidays you moan on about so much. Youd be surprised just how freindly people are. They are not the monsters you and your right-wing buddies make them out to me.
You people make me so angry. Are your lives so empty that you need to sit around and moan about what other people do. I am your fucking nemisis. I like to rattle the cage and cause controversy. You people are the enemy of humanity and I bet you voted Conservative you evil swines.

Blaggard [11:43 AM]

I am still drunk. The exams are over with and last night was the most fantasic and hilarious night ever.

I dont feel like writing about it yet cause it is going to take along time. Just imagine this though. I ended up in a VIP lounge of somekind with enough money to get pissed 4 times over. Shit, how I didnt get thrown out Ill never know, I kept falling over constantly. We did get thrown out of another place later. But shit kids Im going to write about it later. I need a fuckin wash then Im off down a pub. Yes, these next few days are all about getting cunted for as much and for as long as possible.

Rape the liver!
Blaggard [9:58 AM]

[ Thursday, June 27, 2002 ]

It has been a long few weeks. The End comes tomorrow, infact this time tomorrow I will have finished for 40mins. Im going to get drunk off my ass. Absolutly fucking phsycotic drunk.
The plan is tear our away around the main drag in Birmingham city centre. Yes, there is going to be heavy drinking by all concerend. Ive been gathering a large group for this event.

But it still seems like a month away. Two 1hr 30 min exams starting at 1:30. They are sat consecutively with no breaks inbetween. Its going to be murder, especially considering they both have essays to write in them. I suck at writing essays. Ive been cramming like crazy all afternoon after cosmology this morning. The Fear is working on me fast and strong.

I knew these last two days would be the worst in respects to The Fear. I was right as well. Less then 24 hours though. w00t w00t. Once Im in there they will probably zoom by. From the mocks weve done 1hr 30 is barely enough time to complete. Its nothing short of cruel to make us sit them both togeather.

Examiners are evil.

The music industry is full of evil cunts as well. They trying to get a law passed which allows them to attack peer to peer networks with pirated music on. With shit like this is it any wonder people steal from the swines. A way will be found around it.
Blaggard [5:49 PM]

[ Sunday, June 23, 2002 ]

For once in my drunken life I am going to be serious for a minute. This particular post may even touch on been philosophical.

Last me night me, Mo and Clowe decided to stave off boredom we would go down spoons for just a couple. Anyway after a while an old friend of mine and Clowes turns up, Rossiter. We have known this chap since we both 4 or 5. Anyway he joined us for the night.

Not much happened in Spoon. Russel Thompson showed his face for about two minutes, I went to high school and America with that chap. Almost took his head off on the skiing slopes due my affection for sking through forests(long story maybe I will tell it someday).

Anyway as we were going home Rossiter was reminiscing on the good old days, as he was calling them. Right from primary school through to secondandary school. He felt really sad on the fact that those days were over and they would never come again. He said he would give anything to go back to them. I can understand his point of view, the time before high school I was a really happy person. I had few troubles in my life. But unlike him I dont want to go back.

To go back would be to spoil the memories that we have. Those days are over now. It is enough, I feel, to have those memories. To have enjoyed your time. I am happy enough to say that I was there and still remember quirky stories about the trials and tribulations of been a young kid.
High school however I hated and was glad I left. It was a shit pit. Not to say everyday in there like been in hell itself but the negative expirences far outweigh anything postive I got from that place.

These two years of college have shot by very fast, and with only 5 days left on the ticket. I am going to be very sad when I finish my last exams on Friday. But once again at least Ill be able to say I did it. As I read on another web page somewhere, we should think ourselves lucky that we got this far. They were right. These last two years I have changed so much.

There is one important thing I need to do before I finish that place. Something Ive been thinking about for several weeks. I think I will get working on it tonight, for good or for ill.

Blaggard [11:14 AM]

[ Saturday, June 22, 2002 ]

Ah the grim moments of these Saturday morning hangovers. You get up, find you really did throw rice all over your room and infact didnt dream it. Get some water and some taurine in your system and then just wait around to feel better. Ah yes, Saturday mornings are grand things. I got the hankering for a gammon steak lately.

So I dont know how the exams went at all to be honest. It is too difficult to say and Im not even going to speculate, it will only make me paranoid and give me The Fear. Yep, I went to the pub and got fucked up. Ref, Fuckup and Bill went up the Waterfront. That lucky swine Ref finished his exams on Thursday, while some of us have a week to go yet. Hehe. Fuckup Jones fucked up again yesterday deciding to return his textbooks back to college before he had even taken his exams. Why did he do this? Well when all the books are returned you get you £20 book deposit back. He was skint and wanted to get pissed. Last week when he went up Broad Street he took some dirty slag home with him, I hear his parents werent to happy about his drunken antics with her when they got back to his house.

Anyway, I have 3 exams to go, then Im going to get very drunk myself, very very drunk. Ill probably be vomiting this time next week. Its all in the spirt of things though.

Right now Im too hungover to be concerned with anything except relaxing for a couple of hours. I think I shall leave you all with another old Boozehound story. This one is of my first trip ever to the Waterfront. Before I discovered that I do actually like dancing and also like nightclubs. Ah the ignorance of youth eh?

Date: 04/08/01

Venue: One of those weatherspoons joints in cradley, then up to a few clubs.

Participants: Me, Ref, Dave (Refs uncle), Fish, Clowe

Smokes: Bensons

Preferred tipple on this evening: Carling

This was an interesting evening. First off we started with a few pints at Refs local, cheap b00ze. Quaffed a few pints of the carling in there as it was dirt cheap, not my favorite drink but I wasnt in this for the quality. I was there to get fucked up.

Anyway Refs uncle came drinking with us he is called Dave, good bloke. He bumped into his chum called nobby. Before I knew what was going on I had agreed to take a trip to the waterfront, trendy capital. I probably would have rejected under normal circumstances as I hate such places. In this case however I was more interested in the consumption of more b00ze. Any place where this could continue sounded fucking good to me.

Next came the worst part of the night. I had to wear a shirt. I cringed. Next the thought came to me that if the trendy culture were going to get pissed up the alternative culture needed to be represented. So why not. We all got in a taxi, not before putting refs shoes on which I found cut my feet. I got a nice bit of demolished skin.

Soon we arrived and then we had to cue. We had to cue for a long time, which seemed even longer because my bladder was about to explode all over the floor. During this time I developed a great distaste for bouncers. The ones at this place were all filthy fuckers, letting birds in first if they kissed them. Once inside though the first order of business was to empty my bladder which was a great relief. Then came more booze. Quaffed a few pints of the kronenburg. Saw a lot of slutty women. At the bar they had staff walking up and down the bar pouring spirits down peoples throat. Talk about encouraging drinking.

I met one of my comrades from the pit in there. He is a rapper he is a good bloke. Haven't seen in him ages he needed to earn some cash so wouldn't do it for free anymore. Fair enough I suppose. Currently he is "laying down some tracks" making a 7 track disc he has done 3 I think he said. Good to see people doing what they want to do in life. I hope he goes far.

At midnight this place closed and we got a phone call from the Clowe. He was on his way to us so we waited for him on the car park. Dave chatted up lots of women. When Clowe arrived we went off to some club to do some more drinking. The bouncers refused Clowe entry cause he had trainers on, elitist fuckers. Ref and him went back to Refs house to get Clowe some clothes. Me, dave and fish ventured forth.

£2.55 I say again £2.55 was how much a pint of Carling cost me in that hole. No one was impressed, especially considering the barrel had to be changed when I finally got served. It didnt matter in the end I got my pint and I drank it. Then I had another. By this time I was feeling pretty fuck eyed. Also bumped into some people who went to my old high school. Chloe Jones and Chloe um... well her second name has left my mind. I remembered her though. I think they said they were at college now. Clowe and Ref had returned at some point.

Around 1:30 ish I ran out of smokes and also decided Id better not consume anymore b00ze or the vomiting would soon begin. Watched people dance, I hate dancing. Moshing is the only true way. Anything else is the creation of the devil himself. We left about 2. Got into Clowes car. I would like to add that Clowe was well under the legal limit. We razzed around the place shouting at people and then went back to Refs. At which point I consumed lots of water because I was feeling mighty drunk. I then decided sleep was in order so lay down on the kitchen floor. I was perfectly willing to sleep there but no. We moved upstairs. Went to sleep.

So ended my trip to trendy village. Was good but I dont know if id make it a regular affair. It just doesn't have the dank that the ole Rockcafe has. Without the dank it is nothing.

Blaggards rating: 7/10

Drunkenness: Fucked.

Blaggard [9:42 AM]

[ Wednesday, June 19, 2002 ]

The Fear comes on fast and strong with me. Ive been coping with it relatively well until tonight and it suddenly sneaked up on me and took me by surpirse. Yes there have been some dark thoughts of doom and failure tonight. I dont know why, maybe it is the intense stress im under this week. I have 3 exams on Friday and I just dont have enough time to get everything done. I know Ive had three weeks prior to this in which to learn it but it just hasnt sunk in. There has been so much work Ive had to do. Yes Im another example of how ridiculous these new A-level systems are. It works out in the last two years I will have done almost 50 exams. Fifty fucking exams. Infact for the first time since my true alcoholic days of youth I have drank booze becasue of stress. Ive been feelin that stressed these last few days I just decided to do a couple of whiskies just to calm the fuck down for a bit. Exams are bastards. On the plus side, 9 days to go!

There was also an incident with a heroin addict banging on my door which didnt really do much for my mental sanity.

Blaggard [10:40 PM]

[ Monday, June 17, 2002 ]

A few things I wanna jabber on about tonight kiddie winks. Firstly I wanna get into the poltical game. It looks like that Tory fella that got electred in these parts could actually be a corrupt Tory fella. Look here

Ah that made me smile. Id laugh if they convicted him of it. A blow to the facists it would be. It has been getting heavily oppressive round here since he got in. The Pigs have doubled patrols and are all over the place. They arent a clever bunch though they follow set routes and patrols, anyone who watched them long enough could figure out the weaknesses in their loops. Yes, even booze has been banned from the bus stations, although they dont seem to be enforcing that from what Ive seen. The way I think they see it is at least they are all in one place that they can watch, instead of some corridors of the Flats.

I had my first two proper exams today. Four more to do this week. Three next week and it is over.

Now time for some retrospective nostaligic crap. You see over the last few nights Ive been looking back at the last two years of my life, although technically college isnt completly over with for all relative purposes it is. Two years I spent at that place. It has been an interesting time to say the least. To be honest I enjoyed it. I hated high school, hated it with a bitter sort of venom that still rises to the back of my throat sometimes. There were lots of reasons to this but it is not something I want to talk about, not for a while anyway. Anything I suppose could have been better than high school. Ah when I look back there are so many great memories of the place. Those times when the RockCafe was the only place we wanted to be. Those crazy Monday nights and those horrible Tuesday mornings. Hehe, we all used to stagger in and just sit there at least an hour before we even thought about touching work. Ah yes, the old computing labs as well with thier poor quality security.

Games of unreal tournament were organised down in the library at lunchtimes until they twigged on and busted em all. It was inevitable they would get caught though, the network traffic would just spike at lunchtimes. So many things I could waffle on about for pages and pages. I probably will go into them all alot at later times as it is.

Ah the RockCafe though. I miss that place. Going back now would be senseless, it would never be the same, we have all grown up a bit since those days. Ah the things that went on in their. Hehe, I remember one night me and some chap who I just met smashing our way through the cubicle door just for shear fun. Hurling abuse at bands and people going crazy throwing bottles. Who could of course forget the very first night Fuckup Jones fucked up. He managed to incorperate the splits into moshing. Mudie developed his distaste of whiskey after drinking beer all night then training whiskies. Hehe, he still cant even smell whiskey without feeling sick.

No yarn about the rock cafe is complete without a mentioning of Uncle Roy, Son of Roy and Deano the bouncer. Stuffing ourselves with Rominos on the way home. Ah, Im sorry those days are over. I knew they would come to an end soon enough though, maybe thats why I enjoyed them so much.

Ah but in the end, the booze was not what it was about. I felt at home there, the music may have been on most occassions absolute shite but I enjoyed the people. You met some really werid fuckers in that place, not like you do in spoons. In some ways we still are attracted to the dives, we seek them out now and then. Like the Dock and Iron or Porters.

Everything we did last year was about that place close enough. Infact Im tempted to start loading up old Boozehound articles from my old site. I started that one last summer, when we broke up for college. Yes I think I will infact. My writing style was so much different back then, I had a spell checker for one. I detailed every single point of a night no matter how insignificant. At the time I started writing them we had been going to the Cafe since the previous October/November on a regular basis. Shame I didnt start writing earlier, would be nice to have some detailed documents of what went on in those early days. All of the nights just merge into one in the end. Yes, writing, thats something else Ive gotten into over the past two years. Hell I may not be very good at it but I do enjoy doing it. So without further ado here is the very first boozehound report from a night at the cafe:

"Date: 30/07/01

Venue: RockCafe2000 (The usual pit)

Participants: Me, Mudie, Ears, Ref, Dave, Snead and Daz.

Smokes: Superkings (There nice, extra long and they is cheap)

Preferred tipple on this evening: Grolsch.

Another Monday night, another night at the ole cockcafe it is Jam Night after all. We call it the cock cafe because someone changed the sign out front to say Cockcafe2000. Yeah anyways. Was a relatively good night, I got fucked up anyways. Got there just after 7:30 this week, we were late cause we had to wait for the bus.

Got there got the beers in, sat on some table literally, there were no seats. I soon acquired a bar stool of some scrot, who was 15. Daryl did the sound check. There is something you need to know about Daryl, he is like us at that place, a piece of the furniture. He is younger than us just finished high school infact making him 16 ish. He is also an ass. For the sound check he decided to proclaim that several of his chums gave each other head and so on. Including one chaps mother. It was mildly funny the first time, then he kept doing it. Damn fool.

Around this time Ref tried to get a tab at the bar. It was funny to watch. The barmaid said "If I dont get a tab, you dont get a tab". I laughed.

Anyway, took ages for any bands to get going only 3 or so turned up. When I spoke to Son of Roy he told me only one band had turned up so they were waiting for some more. Son of Roy is cool. He is the son of Roy, Roy is the owner of the establishment.

First band was some shitty punk band. Was really bad, just shut my mind to it and got the beers down. The gang of 12 year olds visited us at this time. We always used to joke about everyone been 12 because a lot of people are well... they dont look like they are at the legal drinking age. Now there are really 12 year olds in there. Met them last week. They were all fucked out of there heads. We drink with 12 year olds, we suck the big one. One of em wanted a bit of Ref that was quite obvious as soon as they approached us. Me and Daz laughed, we laughed lots.

Soon got to the part of the night where I just wonder round to see whats going on. Usually happens after the 4th pint. Went outside for a bit, gets hot in there in the summer. No ventilation, windows, just the main door. Had some more b00ze and pack of crisps on Mudie, I was happy.

Was gettin drunk by this time. Anyway things proceeded. Not much happened at this time, at least to my knowledge. Went back inside and listened to a bit of music, quaffed some beers.

Went back outside then, why? I dont know. It seemed like a good idea. Thought I saw someone I knew, Andy Renolds. Turned out it wasnt but the chap said everyone thinks he is Andy Renolds. Anyway this chap was called Nick, I think. He didnt drink, smoke or take any kind of substance. Each to their own. Smoked 2 cigarettes at once, been ages since Ive done that.

Anyway before long we left. Im not sure if Deano issued the command or not, I cant remember. Deano is one of bouncers there, he is one scary motherfucker :) Anyway at kick out time, which varies from week to week, he issues "The Command". He has several he likes to use.

The most famous of these is "Sup up and fuck off". Infact one week when he didnt say this I decided the most sensible thing to do was correct him on this issue. Thank god he found it amusing or he would of smashed my face in. He also uses "Neck it or lose it" and variations on the phrase "get out of here or I will use some kind of physical force to get you out".

After kick out went down to Rominos pizza. Where we cure our alcohol induced munchies. Its like Dominos but nicer. Had a 1/2 chicken burger and fries. Was nice. Anyway on the bus and headed home. These other drunk fools who are often on the bus where there. One of them I knew, we had kicked in a toilet door on a previous occasion. They sing football songs and cheek everyone. Some chap threatened them.

Now we come to the closing segment of this tale. Me and Ears then got of the bus and started to walk home. I tried to cram his pizza box in post box. Gave up. Arrived at home drunk as a drunk should be.

Update: After conversing with Dave earlier today it would appear that due to the amount of drink I consumed some events of the evening have been forgotten. Mainly the incident in the toilet. I walked into the toilet and Dave was there, I leaned up against the wall waiting for a urine disposal unit to become available. At this point I started to slide towards the floor. After much arm flailing and leg movement I managed to regain the correct vertical position. After been told about this it came back to me, this often happens. "

So there we go. Quite different in style. Shit, I even drank Grolsch then.
I think Ive gone on for long enough tonight. Ill probably post another one tomorrow.
Blaggard [11:52 PM]

[ Sunday, June 16, 2002 ]

Keeping in line with all of my posts for the past four weeks I will start by moaning at how boring and horrible revision is.

Revision is boring and horrible. With that done I can get on to talk about other things. The general studies exams on Friday were long, due to the extremly poor organisational skills of the envigulators took ages handing out and collecting in papers. Fish monster actually fell asleep for 15 minutes during the second of the papers and still managed to finish it early. I however am not going to say it was pointless becasue Aber except it as part of the points value.

I did however go to the pub on Friday night. Although I intended not to go I was feelin frazzled and high stressed so I decided for the sake of my mental state it would be best to take a bit of time off the work. I got drunk. Got molested by a 40 year old woman. Hurled abuse at some women on the street. It was all good clean fun.

Yesterday was more revision, I swear my eyeballs will start bleeding soon. Only 12 days left now though and it is all over. Then Ill be able to finally sit down for a few days and do fuck all for a week. Go to Tenerife for a week. Get a job for the rest of the summer. Thatll be more tedium. Means to an end though.
Blaggard [10:57 AM]

[ Friday, June 14, 2002 ]

Right this post is meant to be one I posted ages ago, but for I forgot about it. If you have read a great deal of these posts then you will no doubt grasp the fact I come accross lots of crime and nasty things. It comes with the turf, you live in any major city your going to encounter an absolute shite load of crime and degenerance. Well this story is one of the harshest Ive come accross in a while. This one is not for the weak stomached. Hell this one is worse than the 15 year old hooker we came across in Porters one week.

There is a nightclub called Millenium which is located up the Waterfront, Ive likely never spoken of it before because its a bit shite and none of us ever go there. But anyway Stourbridge college, not the one I go to, held their college party there. College parties are an attractive nuisance. Due to the fact everyone there is going to be young any little cunt aged 13 and above can get in. But anyway, the club has been closed down for a month or so now and after conversing with Fuckup Jones I found out why. On this college party as I said, a young 14 year old lass managed to get in the club. Anyway to cut a long story short she got brutally raped in the toilets. Or so she has claimed. Innocent until porven guilty in this court system so lets not make sweeping statements.

If true that is pretty horrific. Pretty damn King Hell fucking horrific. Things get more decadent here everyday. Most of the crime doesnt bother me overly. Drug dealing for one. People go into that willingly, if people wanna buy drugs thats their business. But this particular tale of savagery disturbs me.
Blaggard [10:32 AM]

[ Thursday, June 13, 2002 ]

Today has been yet another fun filled day of revsion. Yes life is pretty boring at the moment, its only goin to get worse if I decide not to go out on Friday. I dont know weather I should just go down later and have one or two. No sense in workin all night afterall? If I do anything it will be that. Exams make me uber-paranoid, anytime Im not working I feel as if im wasting time. Which isnt very good for the mental state becasue I then burn out.

Anyway Ive been thinking today about music that changed my life. Everyone has some music that changed their life in some way another so Ive decided to share with thee all the albums that changed mine.

Number 1 on that list has to be Soundgarden - Superunknown. This album was pretty much my anthem for those early teenage years. Heavy dark music, its what every 13 to 15 year old wants. Everytime I got really depressed and angry I used to play Mailman at full blast, the tone of the music always seemed to be in tune with my anger. 4th of July was another one of the simalier ilk. Yes this album really sparked my interest in music that meant something, with a bit of feeling and depth to it. It was around the time I bought this album that I sheared away from pop music. I realised it was shallow and fake, I didnt want to be that way. Yes this album is responsible for a lot of things, its the first album that got me into alternative musc. I Even to this day it is still high on my playlist. If I only I was a born a few years earlier I would have been at that age at the height of grunge. Id like it noted however I thought Nirvana were bollocks. Instead I did feel highly alienated during those early teenage years, there seemed to be nothing at the time which I could get into. Everyone listening to pop and it was just me into the heavier music, for all I knew at 14. Yes I either want to have grown up in the early 90's or the 60's. One or the other. After a breif look at some modern artists I instead plunged back into the past and became a heavy Metallica fan.

Number 2 Metallica - Master of Puppets. Puppets was another ones of those albums that changed me. I listened to it for about 4 days straight when I got it. It was the last album Burton did before he passed on to the next world. Actually, his final song which they stuck on Justice for all (To live is to die) really got to me. But anyway Puppets. I loved every single track on this album. Infact after listening to "The thing that should not be" I was inspired to start reading Lovecraft fiction. Orion always stuck out as my favourite though. Instrumentals always get to me more than songs with lyrics ever do. To be able to do that shows real musical skill.

Number 3 Rage Against the Machine - Battle of Los Angeles. I bought this album just as I was becoming more poltically aware. I never realised at that the time that they were a heavy poltical band but of course it fell right in line with my politics. I picked up Evil Empire when I was in the states although never really listened to it for 3 or months after I bought it. The song that always fuelled me on Battle was Sleep Now in the Fire. This song used to, and still does, make my blood boil in an anti-capitalist frenzy. Its what music is all about, stirring feelings and emotions up in people. This group was partially responsible for my breif descent into the world of communism. Ive still got my copy of the communist manifesto that a friend bought me.

Number 4 [Spunge] - Room for abuse. Now this one you think may be a little odd to stick on a list of albums that changed my life. Well this one did, not really due to the musical content (ska-punk sort of stuff) But I discovered this band before that had any notable success. I found them playing some dive not to far from me. It wasnt long before they started to hit it big, I found them bout 12 months ago now. Their new single is playin on Kerrang at the moment. Anyway it was the feeling of been part of something back then. Coming accross a pretty much undiscovered band and knowing that were goin to hit it big. When I heard them play that first time I though "These fellas are gonna make it". The show was a piss-poor organisational job. The club could hold 200, at a squeeze. Opening act was a band from my college who had been misinformed about what they were doing and got a bit confused. Infact there were three bands before [Spunge] hit the stage. But anyway it was a night to remember, infact it was probably the first time I ever got seriously into moshing. Yes, this album changed my life becasue I can say I was there at the start. I saw them while they were still playing filth pits.

The members of that band were actually freindly blokes. Willing to get down with the audiance. Infact I sat with the drummer while he was eating a pizza before the show started. That was the second time I went to see them though. Unlike that time when I saw Spineshank. The singer from that band came accross as a bit of an arogant cunt, maybe I misread him but other people have said the same after seeing interviews with him. I think he expected us to bow down and worship him. The bass player however. I will never forget this fella. He was a man who loved the show, you could tell he loved getting up there and playing for the people. Yes this chap really got into what he was doing, alot like Joe Cocker, a sign of truely great performer. Hell, I met some of the bands family at the bar as well, they were nice people. Theyd took their 3 year old kid on tour.
Hehe, that was a funny night when I saw Spineshank. The opening band, Dry Kill Logic. They kept having to stop after each song becasue the singer was freaking out. He had too much beer and/or drugs. He fell flat on his back several times during the set. It was hilarious. But never the less they kicked out some good tunes. Both bands were good in fact.

So now Ive deviated of albums that changed me.

Number 5 - Pink Floyd - The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon. I dont think anyone has ever listned to either of those of albums and not been changed in some way. Masterpeices.

Blaggard [12:10 AM]

[ Tuesday, June 11, 2002 ]

Well today has been extremly boring. Work work and more work but thats all its goin to be till 4:30pm on June28th. This is the worse thing about exams, the boredom. You have to work. You dont want to work, but you want to pass. It tears you apart. By next friday I will have done all but three of my exams. They arent till the following Thursday and Friday though. I think I may also not go to the pub this weekend. If I do its inevitable that I will get drunk, thus I will like shite the next day and not do any work. Which I cant be having as my two computing exams are on Monday mornin. Ill be making sure I know everything all weekend.

I get stressed and easily paranoid around exam times. It didnt get to me so much last year but for some reason it has crept up on me this time round, Im deep within Paranoias grip. Big cunts to it though. It will be over soon enough. 17 days. It is hardly any time really, of course it will seem like an eternity.

Im listening to the Deftones tonight, White Pony. I got this album ages ago but never really listened to it. All in all I think Around the Fur was better, it seemed much heavier than this one. At the moment though Kittie - Oracle is on the top of my play list. It is a sweet album, that Morgan Lander sure can growl. Its about time I got round to an expansion of my music collection. I like a lot of music despite the image Ive got as a MetalMonster of some kind. Besides metal though the bands I listen to are from many aeons ago, Pink Floyd, The Doors. Shit Ive even been known to enjoy the beatles now and then. Ill probably get to work on it over the summer when Ill have some cash. This pinko swine is gonna try and get some bar work. In the Hare and Hounds would be nice, no one ever goes in there unless their is a football match on. Hmm, could try for a job in a music store, they might give me a discount. Me working in a pub would just fuel my alcoholism.

As you can see there are plus sides to a job in either one of them. Work in a pub, get to drink the drip tray. Work in a music store, ill get a discount.
Now if only there were pubs that sold music I would be set.

Sometime this summer I really need to learn how to drive as well, so I can rape the planet along with all the other motorists. I cant wait.
Blaggard [11:30 PM]

Let me clarify on that last post a bit. Im not implying its ok for people to enter the country illegally. That indeed does cause problems, as America is now finding tryin to round up terrorists they beileve to already be there.

Anyway, everything tastes good with mustard.
Blaggard [12:05 AM]

[ Monday, June 10, 2002 ]

Things are getting pretty serious in Europe lately. The rise of the extreme right is a worrying thing and I am now seeing such hard line policies coming to light in the UK.

David "Just call me Adolf" Blunkett has decided to introduce segrated schools for asylum seekers. All children who come into the UK under asylum condtions will be sperated from normal schools and stuck in segrated ones. Now may Im just over reacting but this does have quite scary similarities with such policies that the Nazis used along time ago. The Daily Mail however probably think its a grand thing, next best thing to shooting to them of course.

You know why it has come to this though? Becasue of fanatical cunts like those who write for the Daily Mail who make out that every person who seeks asylum in the UK is some filthy mongrel who wants to sponge off the state and rape your mother. So now becasue of the hatred they spout children must suffer. Fuck, did we learn nothing from the past 100 years of human history?

The whole idea itself is counter-productive and just panders to the extremists. One of the best thing about integrating the kids into regular schools was that it was meant to help them get over the horrors of where they escaped. Instead they go from one opressive state to what will seem like another one to them. It will just be like being in prison. Your just gonna breed hatred. They escaped horrors? Yes, or chances are they wouldent have been granted asylum. I heard something on the ole radio about this from some person who processes the claims. Every year something like 80'000 asylum claims are made, that includes all family dependents. Around 5'000 of these are granted asylum. Do you know how many people live in the UK? 60 million. Indeed a lot of people do come in illegally. I dont have figures for it but I would surprised if it was even close to 5000. Say 10'000 in total get in a year. Over 10 years that is 100'000 people. Big fuckin deal..

But hey, they provide an easy scapegoat which is something the hardliners are always looking for, right and left wing.
Yes those damned asylum seekers, there responsible for all the wrongs in this world. I hope you could taste the sarcasm in that sentence.
Blunkett you evil bastard, your number two on my enemies list. Right next to those cunts who work for the Daily Mail. Every last one of you.

Hmm this post was highly poltical, us crazy liberals eh? No good lay about beatniks is what we are.

Blaggard [8:24 PM]

Another weekend over and done with. Nothing really highly exciting happened, although we did decide to go and see the advance preview of Spiderman last night. Due to us offically been college wallers until July17th we get the cinema at a discount price. Well about £2 cheaper, but hey, thats a pint in spoons.

All in all I thought it was a good film. The plot was exactly the sort of thing youd expect from a superhero sort of film, the ending did however take me by surprise. You usually expect the hero to get the girl and then live happily ever after and have lots of wild and rampant sex. But however Spiderman turns the bird down becasue of his responsibilites. How noble.

Yeah however it was a good film and I enjoyed it. We then sat in spoons for two hours.

Then as we were coming how Clowes tyre decides to get a big hole in it. So there we were on the main Boy Racer route, with no tyre. But more importantly no Jack or wheel key. We had to phone up Ears and he came along with his equipment and helped us. In the end it took no more than 15 minutes. So there we have it. My Sunday night in all its glory.

Today Ill be doing lots of work. For some reason my mind refused to do anything yesterday. It screamed in agony everytime I looked at a textbook. The first proper exam is exactly a week away. This time on Monday I will be sitting at college doing all of my computing exams. By the end of the following week though everything will be finished. Im glad there all in one block. They will be done and dealt with pretty damn quick. Then Ill be able to get locked into what I like to call Summer Projects. More of that nearer the time though.
Blaggard [10:29 AM]

[ Saturday, June 08, 2002 ]

It was the usual Friday night last night. Sit in spoons get wrecked then tear a path right to the chinese. Most of the night we babbled about the football match and the college party wednesday night.

Ears remembers nothing of goin with that bird. Im not surprised really, he was pretty damn drunk. The proceeding mornin he spent vomiting apparently, he broke the cardinal rule though.

Beer before liquor, never sicker. He drank loads of pints then hits the vodka drinks. Last time I did that to any excess it cost me a keyboard, it was a truly disgusting event. Yeah people were talking about my dancing as well up on the podium. Due to the position on the balcony it is visible to the whole club. Jones said somethin like:

"You were going at crazy. As the music got faster you got faster. You were just a blur at some points"

"I looked like a tit, didnt I?"
Breif silence.
"yeah you did"

Hehe. I dont give a fuck anyway I enjoy dancing. Something I only discovered in the past year after going to Tenerife. I love the dancing, gets the adrenaline flowing. We ended up smashing a load a glass. We went to get some food. Clowe wanted a balti, I however just wanted my King Prawns from the chinese. So I went and saw Steve. It was just me in there, I freaked out and due to my heavy drunkeness started clawing the newspaper in there.

I then went into the balti house to wait for Clowe.

"Can I get a pint why I wait for my m8?"
"No you cant"
"Ok then"

Probably a good job as his food came pretty quick. We started home and Ears drove by and gave us a lift home.

I had a dream last night that my cat turned into a flying squirral.
Blaggard [10:39 AM]

[ Friday, June 07, 2002 ]


I went to watch the match down the old hare and hounds. You know what I enjoyed myself. Now normally I hate football, Ive never seen the point. This time however I really enjoyed myself. The atmosphere was great, everyone was going crazy all over the place.

When England scored that penalty the place just exploded. I got showered with booze and I laughed like an idiot.

I am such a good mood now. Not becasue we won, I dont care about that. To me this didnt seem like cheering on a country. It was just a laugh, a bit of fun. Get behind a team and cheer on. Dance if they win, lament if they lose. Yeah it was fun. Ive never really been to watch a match in a pub before but it was worth it. I took a chance and it paid off.

Hell yes nothing is gonna bring me down for a while now.

My entrance to the pub was quite interesting as well. They had locked the doors, the place was rammed. So like a sly cunt I sneaked in through the fire exit.

Now the next thing on the list is of course getting some work done. Physics maybe. Or some economics, im not sure.

Have a good Friday night kids. I know I am going to. Hittin spoons a little early tonight. The party atmosphere is goin to be kickin.
Blaggard [2:49 PM]

Ahoy there maties.

Yesterday was a slow day where I got a moderate amount of work done. But what matters is that the work I did I did well, to sound like some filthy coperate oik, it was productive.

I also downloaded Mozilla. Its pretty good. Especially the email and contact programs on it. Im having to download a load of plug-ins for it thought to get everything going in the correct fashion but I think its going to be worth it. Its easy to customize and it is open source! Sounds like somethin for me to do over the summer, tear apart the code and add a few features of my own. It will be good practice.

Ive been a real geek about this whole thing and have the star trek LCARS thing as my theme. I download a spell checker for this thing but I dont know how to get it to work which is a shame.

Today England are takin part in a football match against Argentina. As we all know Im not exactly a patriot. However any excuse to go the pub early is good enough for me. As I also hate football Im not gonna bother going until late. About 1ish. Which has it happens will be the very end of the match unless it runs over. Hehe, I never thought about that. Ah well, its only to the Crown over the road.


Blaggard [11:08 AM]

[ Thursday, June 06, 2002 ]

Big cunts.

Ah last night was good as I hoped it would be. I did my bizarrie and heavily foolish looking dancing, even managed to get a spot on the podium on that balcony again which was nice. We went all over the place last night. Started in spoons where Fuckup drank his traditional quart of vodka, we went off to the booze shop and got a bottle or two for the bus trip. We went to the waterfront and sat in another spoons for a drink then headed on up to the college party. The was a massive line so we decided to sit in a nearby pub called the Turks Head. By now I was starting to feel a little drunk.

Someone phoned a bird called Naomi who stood me up around three weeks ago. I abused her down the phone. I went through my Big Fuckin Cunts story which I might stick on here one time. Yes everything was right and true with the world.

After lots of waiting around we finally got in the club and I bought two Buds, which are usually cheap on college party nights. £5.70. My jaw dropped so far it hit the floor. They had but fosters on special this time round. I didnt really drink much in the club though. I made the classic mistake of having beers instead of vodka drinks. Beer makes you feel shite when you dancing. Hehe, and dance I fuckin well did. Me and Snead lost everyone and went for a walk around the entire place. He was pissed as cunt, he had been doing WKD blues with blue aftershock chasers all night.

Clair turned up and started screaming at Ears, hed hadent been awnsering her calls in days. I got a couple more bottles. By now about 12:30 I was extremly drunk. Dave Rossiter a comrade of old was talkin to me. He knew I was very drunk I was having difficulty standing up at this particular stage, he found it pretty funny. Strangely so did I. I gave him one of my bottles, I was startin to feel very sick.

Around 1ish we started the proper dancing which is what we did right till the end. It sobered my ass up a bit so I could a least walk in rough straight line. Yes, on the podium I went and did the ultra crazy dancing. My legs were flaying all over the place. Then they put on some non-dance track, I relinqished my place on the podium to some drunken yahoo behind me. We stayed right till the end, but for the last 30 or so minutes I just sat on a stool next to the main floor, I had just had enough of it. Me and Funboy laughed at everything and everyone. Ears went with another bird, hope Clair didnt see that one. Snead pulled. Mudie was plannin on fuckin his bird when he got home.

We left and got a cheeseburger from the van oppisite. There wasnt enough room in Mudies car for everyone so I got my coat out of the car and went to get a taxi. Funboy and Fuckup were with me. We decided to get another burger which is just about the time we ran into Neil the organiser of the party. He wanted to share a taxi back with us. We got a taxi and came home. To the bus station it was £15. It was raining and I didnt want to walk the rest of the way.

"Will you take me to another stop"
He sat there contemplating. I understood.
"Settle up this so far and then take me to another place?"
"No problem m8"

I paid and he unlocked the doors so we could get out. Jones had been all over the place poking all manner of buttons, it had been giving me the Fear. Heavy doses of it. From the bus station he charged for £4 for less than a 5minute trip. But what choice did I have other than to pay, I couldent see the meter.

I got in and noticed it was 3:15. I woke everyone up.

"Have a good time?"
"I ate two cheeseburgers!" I bellowed.

Before collapsing.
Blaggard [11:46 AM]

[ Tuesday, June 04, 2002 ]

I got a load to jabber about on this post. Hell Ive been up for five minutes today and the house is all over the place. It seems to be buzzin for some reason this mornin and the cat is been sick downstairs. But anyway below are some news articles I meant to post yesterday but never actually got round to doing it.

"Police are hoping to trace an HGV lorry containing 40 cases of lager, cigarettes and soft drinks after it was taken from a driver in Oldbury.
The driver was standing next to the HGV lorry in Bookers Cash and Carry on May 20 at 9.30am when a man approached, climbed into the cabin and tried to drive away.
The victim climbed onto a step next to the thief and grabbed his jumper but was pushed off and the offender made his escape in the lorry.
Officers are hunting a curtain-sided HGV lorry, worth £25,000, registration YN51 KYH.
A police spokesman said: "The van contained 40 cases of lager, soft drinks a pallet of Chinese food and tobacco. " - Taken from a local news source.

Although kids we know it is wrong to try and make crooks out as heros this story made me smile. Hehe. I was just thinking of what a night that chap had when he actaully looked at what he stole. Its one big party in a truck. Even some chinese food for when those beer induced munchies kick in. But of course kids, stealing is wrong.

"A teenage yob caused around £100 worth of damage to an XJS Jaguar car after climbing over the bonnet and roof while the Halesowen owner stood and looked on in disbelief.
Police want to trace the offender after he damaged the car as it was parked in Gorsy Hill on Thursday May 9 at 8pm.
The car owner chased the teenager on foot but lost him and police are appealing for witnesses to come forward.
The vandal is described as white, around five feet ten, of thin build, with dark hair, a pointy nose, aged around 17, wearing a grey coat and dark trousers." - From the same local news source.

This article is pretty old now and I meant to post it a hell of a long time ago. But due to a bizarrie combination of events that involved The Funboy I never actually posted it. Now I have remembered about it so spent 15 or so minutes sifting through the local papers internet archives to find it. Anyway the relavance is that the description is a perfect match to Fuckup Jones, he even has the grey coat. We thought it was him due to certain things that happened along time ago in the RockCafe days. It wasnt him however as we managed to prove he was no where near Gorsy Hill on the night in question, he was at home.

Tonight is where all the madness will be going down though. It is the last college party, the very last college event I will attend. I decided not to go to the prom for several reasons:

1. It was at the same place where we had our high school prom.
2. The high school prom was fuckin shite.
3. Security thought I was dealing Xtc tablets so they searched me.
4. Im a cheap fucker.
5. No one to go with, which I suppose what all boils down to in the end.

Although some over excited geeks bought loads of tickets before even asking the person they wanted to go with if they wanted to go. Clowe for one, I think Fish did also. Ive been hearing about a counter-prom going down. The official title for the prom is "Summer Ball", the counter-prom is called the "Summer Balls-up". I dont know much about it though only that it is going on somewhere in Stourbridge. Been organized by a load of heavy metal crazies like me though so at least the music will be good.

Anyway Im deviating from the events that will be happening tonight. Yes we are starting most predictable at Spoons for 7:30 to get in a few drinks, its an easy place for everyone to get to. Then I think the plan is to get the bus up to the delph for about 9. A few swift uns in a pub round there and then hit Eclipse for around 9:30 - 10 for the party. It should be pretty sweet. Whenever we do one of these they make so much money they cut the price of beers. Hehe, there is nothing like drinking two Buds at a time. It is the only way. I will also no doubt do my patented dance moves once Im fucked up. Mudie is taking his digital cam to record me so he says, I look ridiculous. Hehe, last time I got myself up on a podium on the balcony. It should be a good one tonight. Fuckup Jones in intent on fucking up in his traditional style.

This however means Im gonna do a load of work before I go.

Blaggard [8:22 PM]

[ Monday, June 03, 2002 ]

Well after yesterdays miserable efforts at doing some work I managed to tackle a large amount of stuff today. Finally understanding a physics concept dealing with centripetal accelerations which until today I havent had a fucking clue about. Yes that pleased me greatly. The work is not over yet either, I think im either going to do some more dabbling in the blackest of black arts(economics) or do some cosmology. Havent decided yet. My first exam isnt for two weeks yet though, Ive still get the time.

Anyway we all know what day it is today. The "celebration" of the Queens jubilee. Yes celebrating 50 years of complete irrelavance to the modern world and those who live within it. Hell there is nothing like celebrating a symbol of tyranny and oppression. As far as my opinions go on the issue of those royal cunts is that are the last remaining large scale symbol of the Empire. One of the most evil things this country ever went about. Unfortunatly there are still evil swines who want the good ole days of the empire back, I beileve the contemptable bastards call themselves Conservatives.

To celebrate my disrespect for the Monarchy I sat here with my straw hat on and played God save the queen by the sex pistols a few times at full blast.

Right I suppose Ive killed enough time typing into this thing, best get back to the devilery known as revision.
Blaggard [7:46 PM]

I have done absolutly fuck all today. Did a few hours of revision until I ended up staring at the wall for 30 mins because it was more enjoyable than the prospect of more revision. Revising sucks the big one.

Anyway Im going to go and denonce capitalism on a few boards. Seems like the thing to do.
Blaggard [12:21 AM]

[ Sunday, June 02, 2002 ]

There are many things in this world which annoy me. One of those things that rank highly on that list are snitches, or rat bastards as some people like to call them. Last night I heard of a case of upmost ratting which is going to leave the snitch severaly beaten at the very least.

Lets get this thing laid down right. My ole high school isnt exactly known for its high standards and well behaved pupils. Frankly it is a pit of violence, sex and drugs. When I was there the local wags dubbed it heroin towers a name I even started calling it by the end of my time there, yes it was a filth pit. At least however there was a bit of honour in that place, you could always rely on people not to rat. However one plucky young drug dealer has now destroyed that and taken out half of the school with him. The chap I can only imagine wasnt sensible about his dealings and bragged as most of them do and got arrestted, charged with possession and supply. But the pigs cut him in a deal. If he ratted out all of the people he sold to theyd be kind to him, so like a dick he beileved those lying cunts and ratted.

All people were traced back to the high school. Now the headmaster, who always appeared to a bit of a smackhead, decided to dispatch letters to all of those kids parents demanding drug tests. He cant legally force them. Then if it comes back postive they get kicked out, negative they dont. Luckily due to him been a dozy tit they just have to refuse to have the test and theyll get out of this one. A valuable lesson to all. Dont trust drug dealers because when it comes down to you or them, they will always save their own ass.

Yeah, I had to get that one of my chest. I h8 rats.

In an amusing story from last night Fuckup Jones got assailed by some chap in the bus stop. He was jumping up and down excited waving a peice of paper in his face.

"m8, I cant get some bus fare off ya. Ive just got out of jail and I cant get home. Look Im not lyin I got my bail form right here"

Shows him the form. Crime: armed robbery.
Jones decided it was best not to fuck with this sort of person so gave him the bus fare home.
Blaggard [10:42 AM]

[ Saturday, June 01, 2002 ]

Weird flashback from last night just occured:

I was half climbing through some womans car window. Fuck knows what I said to her, I cant remember. Been a drunken cunt is great.

Blaggard [11:25 AM]

Do you ever get the feeling you drank too much? I get it now and then but it passes frequently. That thought of "Well maybe I shouldent have had that extra pint of vodka"

I think I had roughly 7 pints and a blast of the purple haze last night. As hangovers go I dont actually have one which is nice for a change. Hangovers usually tear me apart in a brutal fashion. But Im out of smokes and have no fiscal means to replace them at this time, which sucks more cock than an AIDs ridden hooker than populate those mean streets of Tenerife.

Yes Tenerife is starting to concern me now. I should be concerned with passing exams but thoughts about that island are starting to drift back into my mind. It is only a month away now. 30 odd days until I board that aeroplane and get back to the place. Hell Im looking forward to tearing up and down the main drag. Getting drunk and been brutally humiliated by a club rep, calling Clowe a cunt until 3am. These are all good things that arent long off now.

Hopefully we should get our grubby mits on some high powered drugs this time. We are going at the peak of the season this time round, the drugs should be flowing like wine. It will be nice just to not have to give a fuck about anything again for a week.

Fuck me Ive deviated off what I was meant to be talking about here. Yes, thinking of Tenerife makes my mind wonder for hours. To be honest I dont think Im going to want to go back there after this one for a while. Its a big ole world and I dont want to spend me entire life on the main drag of Playa das Americas get beaten by the pigs.
Anyway back to last night. I think I was a little screwed. I bought some chinese from Steves. (King Prawn rice is the only food to combat the beer induced munchies!)
I fell asleep in the chair and was awaken by some evil cunt telling me to go to bed and the turn the computer off. I replied with something like:

"The computer decides when it wants to go bed, I cant make it go to bed"

Then shouted "cuntism". Luckily the person who was trying to awake me didnt understand that. Which is good since it was the Crone. I then apparently went and stood behind the couch for several minutes all though I remember nothing of such a werid action. So I got an earfull of moaning this morning. What do I care though.
Today is going to revision all day again. It is driving me up the fucking wall I tell you, but its only for a few more weeks. At 4:30 on June28th it will be all over and dealt with and Ill be sitting in The Mitre with Funboy eating a gammon steak and drinking a pint of the Stella.

So anyway on the revision chopping block today is:
-Computing mod 4
-Economics mod 4.
-Physics, synoptic.

Then Ill go see Clowe in the Harvester about 9 or sommat.w0rd.

Blaggard [9:48 AM]