The Boozehound

[ Saturday, August 31, 2002 ]


Im very very hungover, I must say that its been awhile since Ive been really drunk like I was last night. To be honest I was pissed as a cunt by 11pm.

Bill fucked up the booking for TGI's, accidently booking it for the wrong place so we went to a Mexican place. I had reservations about it. You see when I went to Utah and I had a very bad experience with Mexican food in a joint called Loco Lizard. The food was fucking orrible. I simply presumed thus that all Mexican food was rank. But Im young and ignorant. It was actaully very good food, Im glad I tried some proper Mexican food instead of wimping out and going for a steak.

Infact I was talking to some crazy guy at the bar who was Mexican, he was jabberin about Vodka.

It appears they were having a real crackdown on age this weekend. Every place we went asked us for I.D, luckily I carry it with me everywere so it was no problem.
Except of course for that fucking cunt of a bouncer at The Sports Cafe.

"Got any I.D then lads"
I gave him my I.D. He didnt look at it.
"So then, this gonna say your 21?"

I felt like smacking the fucker in the face. We tried to get back in later but he recognised me so just told me to sod off.
However the bouncer at O Neils Irish bar was a nice guy. He had the right idea, he I.D'd us, that I dont care about. He just had a bit of professinalism in his work. I think he grasped the idea that a bit of kindness goes along way. Infact when Clowe couldent find his id he said he could go in anyway becasue all of us were 18. He joked with us.

Ah but it was good night, besides an odd incident when I met Laura in the Riza later which dampened my manic mood a bit. Driscoll gave me a bottle and talked about aload of drunk bullshit with him. Infact we talked about inpending conviction of our ex science teacher for the banging 15 year olds, something Ive mentioned before.

I staggered in at 4am and woke up at 9. Right now Im pumping myself full of stimulants just to keep me going for a bit. Im gonna go grab lunch at a pub somewhere today, probably The Bell over in Walsall. Its a long trek but the food there is worth the journey, plus the Crone will be paying.

Hehe I was just talking to Mudie. As he left he tried to talk to me and apparently I was jabbering on about a crab. I was trying to get a burger with a crab on it. Of this I remember nothing.

Also in a less amusing incident I ran into some drunk chap while chasing the bus causing him to drop his phone. Which promptly smashed. I got The Fear and bolted before he said anything. I feel bad about it, its not like I meant to destroy the guys phone. But I wasnt going to hang around for a stomping, or to pay for it for that matter.

I need to get moving, take a shower and get out of here for a few hours. Im a damned menace to society.

Blaggard [11:03 AM]

[ Friday, August 30, 2002 ]

Right then I awake this morning with a mind still flying around all over the place after my date last night. Craziness. However the creative humours are flowing in a much more pleasing manner this morning.

Appears there was an attempted hijacking yesterday on a RyanAir flight. The suspected hijackers was bound for the fair filth ridden city I live in, Birmingham, for an Islamic conference. All though the plane was bound for London. Could this have been another attempted terrorist attack? My gut tells me that it was unlikely. Although logic goes against what my gut was telling me. The chap was trying to board a plane with a firearm afterall. There are also plenty of targets in London to make a big statement. Houses of Parliment, that royal cunts palace, tower of london etc. Shit there is even that accursed Dome. I still to this day think that was the product of a late night coke/acid binge.

I dont think Birmingham is ever likely to be a target. I mean there is no big targets here that have sufficient world wide fame to make a big impact if they were blown up. Not a thing.

I also found out the other day that the politcal party that holds the Aberyswth seat happens to be the Welsh Nationalists. Great. I go to Wales, hoping to get away from all those hate riddled fuckers for a few years and what happen. I move straight into a town full of right-wing bigots. Apparently it is always a close election however between them and the Liberals. w00t. At least I will be among some friends. Will have to hunt out these nationlists and wind them up. Its alot of fun doing that, until they get violent as right-wingers love to do. Ok that was massive generalisation.

Anyways tonight we will be celebrating the birth of Bill in the traditional fashion. A massive fucking alcohol binge, with a posh meal to kick it off. Im gonna start on the whiskeys before I go though. I gots the feeling im gonna be sick tonight.

Right this like a good a point as any to bring this post to a close, Ive got things to do and chicken sandwichs to eat.

Blaggard [11:04 AM]

[ Thursday, August 29, 2002 ]

We moved the date forward to tonight and did a double date sort of thing. I know from the logs there is at least one person besides me that accesses this blog on a semi regular basis so I for once am going to be the gentleman and not talk about it.

I was going to type my second Gonzoesq press release about tomorrow night. When it comes to writing it though I just cant seem to come up with anything tonight, the mind wonders onto other weird and wonderful things. Ach fuck, Im also feeling very tired. Sleep is definatly needed but Im not going to have any yet. I feel like to staying up listening to music till some ungodly hour, so that is what Im going to do. Think I might do some reading as well.

George W Bush is still a cunt.

Peace be with you.

Blaggard [11:09 PM]

Well some days are really really very werid. This one is definatly high on the list of weridness.

It has gone from hideously stressful and freaked out to a mellow calm than a manic high.

After all the uni forms were finally filled in, triple checked and all documentation digested I finally calmed down a bit. I smacked The Doors on and just sat here staring into space, just chilling out. I was calm.

Then a girl named Laura asked me out on a date next week.

My jaw hit the floor 0.5 seconds later.
Blaggard [12:26 AM]

[ Wednesday, August 28, 2002 ]

Things are getting very complicated. I woke up this morning feeling nice and relaxed looking forward to the prospect of a new day. Not much on the agenda, a trip down into town to get a new DVD drive was as stressful as things were going to get. Until then of course the post arrived. I noticed there was another big pack of Aberystwyth I knew at once this was going to be the accomodation stuff.

Opened it.

Appears Im stuck in the student village which was about my 5th choice on the original form. I was disapointed, at first. Then I realised with this arangment I dont have to take all my stuff with me at the end of term, infact I dont even need to come back till next summer if I so desire. Yes I was pleased. So I started filling the forms in. Everything starts on the 21st. I cant move into my house until the 23rd. So I have to pay more money to have the uni put me up for the weekend in the very same student village to be then moved to a different house on the 23rd. Doesnt this seem to be just a little pointless and just add to the complicated nature of the whole moving process. Ive gotta send another check to them for £100 for room deposit. A seperate one for this weekend of £19 and then yet another cheque of £75 to pay for network and internet access.

To top it off the direct debit I have to fill in to organize rent payments has two addresses to send it back to. The letter says to send it back to the chap at Pentre Jane Morgan(student village) the other says to send it to the finance office.

I anit happy them at the moment. Im also especially not happy becasue I dont actaully have all this money they want so Im gonna have to cut a few dud cheques and try and keep them at bay until my loan comes through. Unless I can get The Crone to put some cash up front and then pay her back later. Which the way she has been raving about money for the past two days doesnt seem hopeful.

Right this is day is going to be very long. I just had to stop and vent some anger and frustration.
Blaggard [1:42 PM]

This evening I par took for a breif period I watched TV. I hate TV. Whenever I watch it I feel like my brain is being liquified and gettin drawn and dribbling out of my nose. Its dull, there is no interaction. The brain just turns off. So anyway, I did actually watch some TV tonight. During the "commercial break" I saw one advert that angered the blood.

Now if there is one thing I enjoy less than watching TV its watching advertisements on TV. Especially ones funded by the government which is exactly the one I saw earlier. It was one of those adverts designed to prevent youth from smoking. As soon as it finished I knew they have just wasted millions. The thing with these adverts is they try to get the message across by being "hip" and "cool". This never works and makes people like me deride it, you see the people who make them havent been in touch with anything in the world for years. Let alone the bizzaire mystical thing that is meant to be "hip" and "cool". They are middle aged people with families. Not to say all middle aged people are out of touch with the world but the ones who make these things are. If they werent they sure as hell would be doing something more interesting with their life than making anti-smoking ads. They have just been living that middle class suburban life for too long and forgot the key thing.

If you tell someone not to do something and make a right fuckup about it, like said advert, people are going to do the exact oppisite. I wanted to light up 5 cigarettes at once when it finished as a way of invalidating everything they were trying to acheive.

Ah it is good to still feel that rebelious nature within me. I wanna go tear down a Starbucks and blow up a McDonalds.
Blaggard [12:34 AM]

[ Tuesday, August 27, 2002 ]

Ah the BBQ was, as always, excellent.

I was drinking heavily by noon and didnt stop till about 11pm. It was a great and very long day.

Markus turned up and with 45 minutes was drunk off his ass and could barely move. He drank three cans of Diamond White cider and then sat there flaying his arms around talking utter jibberish. There was about 3 trips to the off licence during the day to stock up on more booze. Although I drank constantly all day I didnt seem to get that drunk, well nothing like Markus anyways. I did run around with a claw hammer for a brief period. Someone took a photograph of my penis. I chatted up Clowes mom.

At 7 we had to leave so we came down to my shack. Dragging with us the now legandary Beer Bin to keep on filling up with our empties.

The chinese much to my disgust was shut on a bank holiday when I went to get some King Prawn rice. I took the film in to be developed today.

So there we have it another crazy day on the drink. No drinking now until Friday when it is Bills birthday. We are going to a local TGI Fridays for food then hitting Broad Street in an massive explosion of drinking. I downloaded a menu for the place today. It looks excellent food, they glaze half the stuff in Jack Danials. Im tempted to try the JD grill thing, looks pretty sweet. The food and the drinks are very expensive, but this is no time to get stingy. These are the last few days before I leave here. Best to just cripple the bank account and fuck the consequences. Next friday is Morleys birthday, we are doing the 15 pub spectacular for that. The following week the first of us head off to Uni.

Accomadation stuff has started to come through for Aber. Payne got his and it turns out he is in Cwt Mar (sp?) Ill probably get mine sent through within the next couple of days. Infact Im going to fill in the rest of the forms they sent me tonight and take them down to the post office tomorrow.

Ive been trying to stick up some more pictures but for some reason its not working right. Code problem I imagineI, Ill probably do some work on that as well later tonight.
The excercise bike finally arrived today. I got my thumb caught when constructing it giving me a massive fucking blood blister. Ill post the picture when I can get the damned thing to work.
Blaggard [4:56 PM]

[ Monday, August 26, 2002 ]

Well tomorrow Im going to a BBQ. Im low on booze and Im low on cash. My body good probably do with a break, but it doesnt look like its going to get one. I have acquired a large quantity of free meat from a butcher friend of mine. The man is extremely rich and owns his own farm. So yes Im probably going to be in some hideous state of drunken craziness. A good old fashioned freak out is just what the Docter ordered I feel. Terrorize the neighbourhood.

Halesowen(August 26th) - The town council has called for a total ban on all alcoholic beverages after the actions of one drunken launtic. Who legally changed his name to Big Cunts, immeadiatly after his arrest at 7:30pm.

His rampage is beileved to have begun at roughly 12 noon, when Docters later ascertained, he had consumed over 400 units of alcohol. After commiting numorous minor offences including 42 accounts of being drunk and disorderly and one account of eating a protected species. He was later caught on CCTV footage covering Halesowen bus station in charcoal and chedder cheese while waving his arms in a very erratic manner. Mr Cunts proceeded to randomly assult passers by. Witnesses said he was screaming about bats and huge manta rays swooping down on him from their dropships.

Mr Cunts was finally apprehended by local police forces in the Andrew Road flats. At which point he proceeded to urinate in the back of the police car while singing hymns, after he was read his rights he loudly demanded a strip search. Mr Cromwell, a resident, commented: "The boy is off his nut. Ive had enough of this god damn liberals walking around demanded mescaline at a cut price. Bring back the birch, lets give him and the rest of his tree hugging pals a good beating"
Conservative Cllr for the area issued the following statement about the event: "This is exactly the sort of reason we need to kick off the old idea of prohibition. To get a grip on these damned liberals. They are menace to the police state im trying to create here"
Mr Cunts lawyer also issued a statement to the press: "As yet I have been unable to talk to my client as the officers inform me he is still at present drunk and they have yet to give him his manatory beating. The local police force would also like to remind the public that upon arrest you do not have the right to a strip search"
Blaggard [12:26 AM]

[ Sunday, August 25, 2002 ]

I have for many years now listened to late night talk radio. Last night however there was an interesting conversation between the host and some caller. They were discussing the ole war on terrorism. The caller was definatly opposed to any further military action been taken. He seemed to follow my idea that blood always calls for more blood, hatred cycles and so on.

The host then made an interesing point. He said to the caller:

"Stop for a minute and remove all emotion from the situation about an attack on Iraq and the whole middle east thing. Forget about all the media hype and stories about Saddam. We know he is crazy. Then what have you got left as a reason for wanting to topple him?"

There was breif silence.

"Oil?" the caller said.

"Mugabe is just as evil as Saddam but you dont see anyone taking military action against him do you? Just a few harsh words"

I cant remember exactly what he said about the rest. But see how simple this thing is when you remove all the emotion from it. Power and ecnomic stability. American goverenment will attack there old friend, yes lets not forget who put him there and trained his army, becasue they want the oil. Bush probably orgasmed when he saw a chance to flatten the place. Finish off what his father couldent finish. Dont get me wrong im no fan of saddam I think he is a cunt but you are only going to kill more civillians and make the populous resent you if you make an attack. But what do I know? im just another beatnik liberal peacefreak who is part of the problem.
Blaggard [12:27 PM]

[ Friday, August 23, 2002 ]

Commendant Bush eases logging restrictions

Ah just another reason why George W Bush is a cunt.
Im going down The Hogshead to hide, at least for a few hours, from this foul year of our Lord, 2002.
Blaggard [5:36 PM]

Last night I went to Spoons to celebrate Helen and her friend Lauras exam results. They are both going to the same college as me next year. Ah lucky people. A lot of people hated the place I however loved it as a break from the horror that was high school. College was great however, more freedom. I could come and go pretty much as I pleased as long as I got the work done. The smoking shed as well. Some of the conversations Ive had with people down there I will remember forever. It is with great sadness I leave that place. At least I went out with a bang. College was a long heavy burn. A lot of hard work but also lots of hard partying.

Last night I = not drunk.

Laura was however more than a bit drunk.

Yesterday saw a great deal of trouble with delivery people, the scum of the earth. Infact they make the enemies list now. That excercise bike I got the other week had to bo swapped for another. Due to the cretenous nature of the delivery service they took the one Ive got back without delivering a replacement, which they assured me would be the case. After phoning them again this morning to really put the pressure on them they promised it would arrive today and to call again if it doesent arrive by 2. Contempable swines.

Blaggard [9:42 AM]

[ Thursday, August 22, 2002 ]

Nothing has been happening in this last week. I got a feeling things are warming up however. Hopefully leading to some kind of explosion of bad craziness and hideious acts of debauchery. I think Clowe is organising one infamous BBQ's for monday. Never has one his BBQ's been a let down, there are always heavy lashings of drink and drugs. I hope he does get the thing organized a hideous freak out is just what the docter ordered.

Last time he had one was exam results day last year. That was a crazy day, although I dont think we actually had a BBQ at the time. Anyway I was going over the road with Fish. I had tore through 12 cans and it was only 3 in the afternoon after spending the morning in The Moon Under Water. We had pooled togeather to buy another case to keep us going, I went along to get some pork scratchings.

It was hilarious when we got in the shop, it was a small local one. I was reeling all over the place making odd badger like noises looking for pork scratchings. The chap agreed to everything we asked him to do. Fish asked for the case:

"Hi there. Can we get a case of Fosters please"
"Certainly" He snapped his fingers. "Boy go and get this gentlemen a case of Fosters" some kid was there with him.

I picked up a load of pork scratchings in a claw like grip.

It was pretty funny.

Anyway yes that should be good if it actually gets of the ground.

In other news it GCSE results day. A big well done to Helen, a good friend of mine, who has done very well in her results. She will be going to the same college I did now. The town will be full of drunken 16 year olds today I have no doubt. Good on em. I had a crazy time on my GCSE results day. Infact I went to Clowes for a BBQ then we went up Clent to meet a load of other crazies. That was a great day.
Blaggard [1:51 PM]

[ Tuesday, August 20, 2002 ]

Ah the beautiful truth that I am finally getting to leave home is sinking in sweetly. After another one of the now frequent shouting matches with The Crone I suddenly realised I only have to put up with it for one more month.

One month of the torment of living with that woman then I get to leave. University is going to be great. Not like Ill be alone for the first few months either. Fish and Payne will be there, as well as an old comrade from eons ago named Krivosic. What I am looking forward to most is the peace, just a blissful quiet. Except freshers weekend of course. Yes I said weekend, we are getting short changed in that department, me expectations were of a week of drunken debauchery. I intend to quite horribly drunk on the weekend though. It is probably the Right thing to do. Just openly flaunt my deviances when I get there, no sense in hiding them as they will become apparent quite quickly. I do have some odd habbits. For example, nearly every food I eat now has to have mustard on it or I dont like it very much. I feel I have become addicited to the delcious yellow sauce.

As Im doing computer science Im just hoping they dont stick me with a load of recluse geeks. Or for that matter conservatives and hard-right thinkers. I geuss at least the conversation will be interesting. Maybe I should tell them that I prefer to settle arguments with a pistol than with discussion and reason. Put the Fear in them.

Anyway I can feel my Brain firing up and getting eratic, I swear Im a manic-depressive sometimes.
Blaggard [5:50 PM]

[ Sunday, August 18, 2002 ]

There appears to be trouble a brewing in my fair road.

The Filth has just swooped down on the house two doors down. So what am I doing? Typing away at this keyboard trying to ignore whatever is going on in that house. It is occupied by a feind like no other. If its anything serious Ill learn about it soon enough.

Anyway, back to my work.
Blaggard [8:10 PM]

Something else that happened in the Picturehouse on Thursday. It was gettin late, about 1:15 - 1:30, some guy came up to me.

"Hey, remember me?"
I stared at him blankly. "No, sorry m8, who are you?"
"You were Tenerife last October, werent you? I was there the same time I remeber seeing you on the day cruise. I was staying in the Honda"
"Mwhaha. Excellent, I still dont remember you, but its a small world after all eh?"

When I thought about it in a bit more depth I did remember him, but not from Tenerife. He used to go to the Rockcafe the same time I used to.
Blaggard [9:45 AM]

[ Saturday, August 17, 2002 ]

Last night was pretty good, a nice blowout to celebrate the end of the exams.

I could ramble into the thick and heavy details of it all. Maybe I should, just for the sake of permament record. Needless to say I felt obliterated today, I almost threw up all over the garage floor earlier. The pain was pretty immense.

Jess was in the picturehouse last night. She was a barmaid from the RockCafe. As it happens she goes to Aberyswth, she is in the year above. I talked to her for a bit about things. Due to my drunkeness I decided to ask her out for a drink when we get to Wales. She said she would like to.

So tonight the last thing any of us wanted to do was get back into the booze. Clowe however has gone to an old "friend"s birthday party over in the rich end of Stourbridge. Yeah that one was a funny story. I myself was invited at first, until she strangely withdrew all offers of invites except that which she gave to Clowe. Its not like I was going to go anyway, there was some.....unpleasentness...between the two of us. It was never really dealt with so we just drifted apart. Infact in the last two years she was spoken only when she wanted someone to fix her computer. I did have the nefarious idea of getting Fuckup tanked on vodka then turning him loose up there. Just to settle the score.

But that would be petty, hilarious I have no doubt, but petty.

A few of us went and watched Eight Legged Freaks at the ole cinematourium. I thought it was entertaining, I dont think anyone else overly liked it. But hey it beats staying in on a Friday night doesnt it. Ive been toying with financial trickery today. Sorting out how I intend to manage my money next year. Although I will be a lowly poor student I will have significantly more money flowing through me and for the first time in my life I will actually have financial responsibilites. Ill get that nice big fat loan, infact the loan people will be onto me soon organizing the first payment. If I remember correctly they wire it through shortly before the term starts. It should be an interesting experience if nothing else. I had some notification letter form UCAS this morning. Just dealing with the final loose ends in the admissions process, just had to fill a slip in which I have already dispatched into the postal network.

The Family, as it were, are apparently all very proud of me. Im the first one to ever make it to Uni. Well I didnt do it for them. This is my way out of here. It always was. I didnt bother with all this education and hard work for the prospect of a better job. Screw that. Ever since I was about 13/14 this has always been the only way I could see to get away from here, away from the Crone. Well only legitimate one anyway.

Ive been writing a song.

Blaggard [12:14 AM]

[ Friday, August 16, 2002 ]

Lets break this thing down then. Now Ive got my results, gone on a 14 or so hour bender and almost got killed by some lunatic taxi driver who thought the most appropriate thing to do at roadworks is to drive straight through them.


Module 4 B - High B though
Module 5 - A
Module 6 - Very high A

Final grade: A


Module 4 - 90 (There is a funny story, kinda, behind this which I will explain shortly)
5 -C
6 -C

Final grade: B

The Dreaded Physics

Forces, fields and energy - C
Cosmology - C
Unifying concepts - C

Final grade: C

General studies

A big fat D, but I dont care about this thing, it was just an extra to boost the points.

A small analysis of my feelings on the results and the way the thing went down

Well without going into the heavy details I need 260 points to get into Aberyswth, I blew that away and with my Maths AS I got 320pts. So yes, I shall be atending Aberyswth in September. I phoned them immeadiatly upon on opening the results and they confirmed my place. They will be contacting me shortly, so the admissions office informed me. So there we have it then. At the time I didnt really know how to react to the fact that Id actually pulled it off and got in. I still dont to be honest, its going to take a few days before the fact that I got my wish sinks in.

As you would expect Im very pleased with my results. Especially physics. Ive spent the last 15 minutes of this hideous hangover just looking at that C grade. Of all the grades that one I know I deserved. I worked my ass of for that C, they told me Id be lucky to get a D. Damn it, I practically sweat blood for that fucking grade. Although they never said you could tell they had no confidence in me.

The economics module 4 paper was lost in transit between college and the Board. So they estimated me a grade. If MTD or KJB ever read this thing ,as I will probably never see you again, Thank You. To all those other lecturers that suffered me and my odd habits I would also like to say thanks. You all helped in making my dream of leaving home come true. Now I can finally take the first step and get out of this house. Ive needed to leave here for so long, for very personal reasons.

Ive been toying with the idea of sending some of my lecturers a few gifts, at least a letter of thanks.

The results were of course not good for everyone. Thankfully I didnt need to go in the student support area but there were apparently a lot of people crying in there. Im glad I didnt have to see that. We pretty much went straight to the Hogshead. I got very very drunk and smoked a massive cigar. That first beer I had yesterday was one of the sweetest Ive ever tasted. I earnt yesterday and its hedonistic delights. Ill write about it latter, I feel greasy.

Blaggard [8:47 AM]

[ Wednesday, August 14, 2002 ]

This new excercise bike is a definatly a superior peice of machinary. It tore me apart, I managed to get through about 20 miles bfore the acid build up in the legs became intolerable. The handles also move to work the muscles in the arms. Excellent. It is definatly giving me a better work out than the other machine. It lasted through 5000 miles of sometimes violent use, which in the end was the death of it. Ah well it served its purpose well.

So then. Its just about getting down to it now. 16hrs 50 mins approx till I collect my exam results. A shit load of things rest upon tomorrow. My future is pivioted on tomorrow. Im dreading the morning worse than anything, that will be uber Fear. Shakes, massive paranoia, nuerosis and a pulse rate of 200. Im planning on doing something in the morning to kill the Fear. But Ill probably just go along with this crazy idea I had of gettin up and gobbeling the rest of the caffine pills. Those things make me very edgy. Well shit, why not? Im interested just to see what will happen to me, they make me edgy enough when Im calm. Curiosity killed the cat though eh?

What gets me is the admin services have known since Sunday. They already know my fate. I bet they get a twisted kick out of knowing and letting us wait and suffer. My Fear is nothing compared to Fish. He has been on the ultra freak out since the start og August. Although failure is not the end of the world it certainly makes things a lot grimer. The main reason for my overwhelming desire to succeed is the fact I will finally be able to move away. Get out there on my own, explore a little. The fucking wolf instinct man.

Righteo then. Im going to Spoons later with an assorted bunch of miscrents to numb the nerves a little with hard liquor.
Blaggard [5:47 PM]

Yesterday I completly fucking trashed my excercise bike. It is in peices. The metal frame literally snapped in half.

Im not going to go into how I managed to snap a metal bicycle frame but it taught me a lesson about how not to use excercise bikes. Anyway, Ive got a new one on the way right now. From what Ive heard about it it is a superior peice of machinary. Electronic speed dials, some big fan wheel, even some device that will measure my pulse. It will probably be the most esoteric device Ive ever come across.

New books arrived in the post as well this morning for me to sink my methaphorical teeth into.

Catch 22
The Proud Highway - w00t. Another Thompson book for me to assimilate.
The Black Raven.

Im halfway through reading some HG Wells at the moment, The Invisible Man. Ill finish it off before taking on the others, I didnt expect them to arrive so early.

Anyway less than 24 hours left on the ticket before exam collection. I got the Fear really bad today. My mind is working on fever level. Racing with thoughts at all points, paranoia.
Thankfully we are going to Spoons tonight which should calm my nerves. Ill probably drink tonight. After having a night of not really drinking anything, which was Monday, it has occured to me that it doesent really bother me If I drink when out on the town. Accept tomorrow of course. Yes tomorrow will be a fantastic orgy of drunken debuachery. Bad craziness.

Lets just pray that there is something to celebrate.

System of a Down - Toxicity is a brilliant album, buy/download it.

[Spunge] has their new record out on the 26th. Will have to stick in an order with some company or other.

I still h8 the Pigs.
Blaggard [1:42 PM]

[ Monday, August 12, 2002 ]



I have needed to explode about this fucking thing all night. This new idea of on the spot fines for various "offences". It is the most ridiculous thing Ive heard of off. One of things they can do you for are being drunk and disorderly. Which of course now means the fuckers can stitch you up for anything if they just dont like the look of you.

Fall down in the street. £40 fine.
Run around singing. £40 fine.

Ahhh this law is the most facist thing to come out of those cunts in Labour for a while. I hate that fucking man and all his cabinet. Too be honest those swines are ranking right next to the Tories. They are both radical damn right wingers.

But, hey, lets look at the funny side to this. Fish was watching a local news report about this scheme, as we are one of the next areas. They showed CCTV cameras of drunk people on Broad Street. Guess who appears dancing in front of camera? Thats right me! Fish is pretty certain that they have me on archive footage from ages ago. I cant really confirm if it was me of course, ah but if it was. That is excellent.

Im just so fucking angry about this new law, which im not going to obey nor respect. Fuck them. What right do those people have to say I cant drink a beer in a certain part of town. Not that I would ever want to but I should be able to if I suddenly felt the urge to do so.

We live is a society of ignorant hate filled right-winged bastards. It makes me want to go on a shooting spree sometimes. Gun the fuckers down. Or then again when they spin me into this rage I almost sound like them sometimes. At least my motives are pure.

Ah I need to calm down, such rage at this time of night is bad for the blood. Relax, worry about this tomorrow. I need to organize a massive anti-establishment freak out.
Blaggard [11:50 PM]

[ Sunday, August 11, 2002 ]

Well today has been another wild exciting day. Paitence though. Soon will be freak out time, the way I see this is the calm before the storm. As soon as wednesday night hits things are going to get pretty heavy.

On a plus note I did spend this afternoon with three insanely beautiful women which was quite nice. Friends of my parents, oddly they are all in their mid-twenties as well. A couple of them had been living in Austraila for the a few years. Apparently the last time they saw me I was 13 or so. Yeah. Except one of them who was at some other beautiful womans birthday meal a couple of months back.

So most of my afternoon was spent with them. This evening I will be doing nothing. Infact there is nothing really of merit to post about, just a desire to post I suppose. Im starting to get hypertense as it happens now. The drearded results day is drawing nigh. Although like a real student Ive been thinking more about the post-results parties and boozeups.

So there you have it. I only have three caffine pills left as well for Thursday. Hopefully that should do it, it is going to be more than a 12 hour drink marathon. The stimulants will be needed to just to keep going. I have The Fear.
Blaggard [8:08 PM]

[ Saturday, August 10, 2002 ]

Read this little transcript of a conversation I had with the damned attractive woman in the kebab shop last night.

Fit Kebab woman: Hi, what can I get you?
Me: Yea, the kebab special please.
FKW: ok, what sauce would you like.
Me: Kebab sauce.......Oh hang on that doesent actually exist, does it?
FKW(laughing at this point): No it doesent.
Me: BBQ sauce then.

I left laughing manically, yea I was drunk as well. Thankfully none of the kids from Porters went to Spoons. yay.

It turns out I may know if Ive gotten into Aberyswyth before Thursday, unis get the results tomorrow. That really puts the Fear on my now. I may wake up on morning with the dreaded letter on my door step. UCAS sent me some big fucking newspaper as well, it is quite useful for once as well. Accept of course it has caused Fear levels to extenutate beyond the normal background fearage which im constantly stuck with.
Blaggard [10:32 AM]

[ Friday, August 09, 2002 ]

Read this news article

That article makes me sad. Its only a few miles from my shack. I offer my condolences to his family. You see I have a lot of respect for bus drivers they have to put up with a lot of shit in their job, I should know as well the amount of time Ive spent on buses. Im sorry to say Ive probably caused some of them trouble as well. But they have got me out of tight spots a few times and let us get away with a few things. A few stories come to my mind immeaditly but I wont relate them here due to there illegality.

Porters gets firebombed

Well in other news from my area reknown shit pit Porters has been torched. Any long time reader of my non sensical ravings will know Ive drank there on many a fearful occasion. To be honest this news does not surprise me. You see when you know a little about Porters and its clientel something like this is just waiting to happen.

"Chamber of Trade chairman Steve Fitzpatrick, has condemned the attack which he said could tar the image of the town. He said: "I'm shocked and saddened because you don't expect this sort of thing to happen in Halesowen town. "

Well to be honest what he is saying Is a load of jibber jabber. Porters was a haven of drug dealers, pimps and other unscrupulous sorts. I mean shit I drink in there sometimes. The amount of times Ive walked in on heroin deals in the toilets is too many to count. This thing probably boils down to a terrority dispute. Some dealer probably tried to claim Porters and was beaten off. Then the old, if I cant have it no one can logic came into play. However I am just speculating.

What bothers me most now is where are all the Porters bunch going to go now? Spoons? Probably. I like Spoons mainly becasue I dont have to put up with that shit. Theres no heavy drug dealers in there, just calm relaxed people. Also there arent many kids in there, unlike Porters. So now I bet all the kids move to Spoons. Security is usually pretty tight on the young ones, accept a few. Why cant they all fuck off up the RockCafe?

Well I will see tonight no doubt.
Blaggard [1:49 PM]

6 Fear filled days left.

I received a letter of my insurance university yesterday after the post. Just statin procedures, I get a feeling its going to be a long day on Thursday.
But Im trying to enjoy these days in between. Yea.

According to news reports liver disease has doubled in the last decade due to poor diet and alcohol abuse. But then they latter say overall consumption hasnt changed, just a few crazies have been going at it very hard. Just think, one day Ill be part of these statistics, infact the test group they used was the county that I reside. That little tidbit of information nicely links in with my attendance at the local J.D Wetherspoons this evening. Its Friday night so I think the usual Friday night onslaught of drink and tobacco are definatly in order. I got the hankering for a purple haze, or 4.
Blaggard [11:15 AM]

[ Thursday, August 08, 2002 ]

Well its just about getting down to it now. 7 days left till I make the trip back to Stourbridge to collect my exam results. The Fear is already on me, shit its on everyone now I think. Quite a few people have been wondering how they are going to cope with the day, its definatly going to be stressful. You see its just not a matter of collecting your results, its a matter of phoning Universities and finding out wether they still want you are not. Which is going to be the worst part.

Some have quietly told me they are probably going to be drinking before they go in to get them. Just to take the edge off. Id be lying if I said I wasnt thinking about doing the very same thing. Fuckup said he was going to get a quart of Grants the night before so he had something for the morning. But then, If I get drunk, its going to be difficult to deal with the people on the phone, Ill have to sign some papers as well. Everyone wants to go down Wetherspoons on Wednesday to get drunk. As it currently stands I dont know if Ill go, I suppose it would be good to away from this place and with some people. Take my mind of the Horror. Well in one weeks I shall know, and by this time Ill be drunk off my ass. I was hoping to go clubbing on the night, but to be honest I dont think Im going to make it that far. Ive got a good wedge of cash saved I could run the savagest of burns If I wanted to on the day. Even afford a strip club.

Last Friday we went to Refs for the evening. He seemed to be intent on watching some cheerleader film so I sat in the garden with his brother and had a few smokes. Monday night went down to Spoons were I got back in the Purple Haze. Its been a while, they actaully mixed it properly for once, they used to have it pre mixed in a bottle. This time he made me one proper. Tasted much better. It was a good night, Fish over induleged in the establishments tipples. He was pretty damn drunk.

Anyway Im gonna do something constructive I think. Ive been reading quite a lot of books lately and excercising heavily.
Robatease and Woccas are going to Playa Das Americas tomorrow, lucky fuckers. I love Tenerife.

Blaggard [1:39 PM]

[ Friday, August 02, 2002 ]

So then interesting phone calls this afternoon. I phoned up Mo to organize the evenings activitys. Kind of funny really, when it comes to organizsing our lives we are all lazy and half arsed, yet when it comes to a night out it is often put togeather with military precison.

Yet anyway, why I was at the cinemas Wednesday he went down spoons and was told some interesting things about a teacher at our ex high school. Im not going to say his name incase this is all bullshit, but apparently he has been busted for banging 15 year olds. Now I knew this guy I know he isnt a monster which Im sure society will make him out to be, sure what he did, if indeed he did it, was wrong. Abusing his position of power, her been a minor etc.

Actually you would think he would have learnt after another teacher at that school got busted for the exact same thing why we were there. Infact another handed in his notice over fucking pupils, she was 16 though, so he would have just lost his job rather than get jail time. The amount of shit that goes on at that school, even the teachers were courrupt.
The guy who got done before it is out now, got out just after I finished high school about two years ago. While he was in the slammer his wife sold the house and moved away, not like he didnt have it coming though.

Now moving of the subject of my old teachers banging pupils to simply my old teachers who didnt bang pupils. I saw one of em in my road the other day, he was a great guy he took a load of us skiing in my last year to Utah. Utah was a werid place. The hotel and the staff on the ski slopes were really nice people. Then you go into Salt Lake City and its a complete shit pit, werid looking fuckers and ladyboys. (Im not joking about the ladyboys). Park City was a great place. Pigs were very oppressive though. Anyway Ive gone off topic. Yeah this teacher had quit teaching completly and started himself off as a builder, he was just measuring up for a job in my road so Ill probably be seeing him around for a while. He was a good bloke, Im surprised he actually quit teaching though. Although a stretch at that place would make anyone want to quit.
Blaggard [5:36 PM]

So then Ive been feeling frazzeled and pretty low all week. Wednesday night however was good, went to the cinemas and then to a balti house. We saw austin powers 3, wasnt the best film Ive ever seen but then Im not really one for comedy films. Balti also wasnt the best Ive ever had, yet was by no means the worst. I cant be bothered to go into detail about it, Im directing all my creative energy into my Tenerife account.

I was a idiot to leave that place.

Then The Crone went over to my grans house while she is on holiday to check on it and get it ready for her return today, only to find it has been robbed. They trashed the place. As far is known they only took a TV and video. Which is odd as there were two TV's. It appears they just tore the rest apart for fun. Cunts. The Crone says it was probably kids, and it probably was. Wont see any of the stuff again I imagine, it was insured. My gran will probably be distraught when she gets back this afternoon and who can blame her. Im hardly a law abiding citizen myself but I despise people who invade peoples personal space like that.

I bet she will be wishing she never handed that revolver over to the filth now.
Blaggard [11:08 AM]