We ended up in The Glen last night. I was stone cold sober so I spent the entire night in observation and deep thought mode. Its not that I was in a bad mood as such, although I did snap at Fish when he grabbed me at one point. It is simply when Im in a mood like that I dont like my thought trains and processes interrupted in any fashion.
I was bouncing of the walls when I got back here though after seeing someone with someone else. Im a stupid chickenshit child I know but Ive straightened myself quite well this morning I feel. It is amazing how head clearing and refreshing a walk to the Co-op in the rain can be at 8:45am. I was smiling a full broad smile walking back in the rain, a few people looked at me werid but that just made me smile more. It seemed like exactly the Right thing to be doing at the time. I then had a 45 minute shower which was very nice Now Ive just droped two caffeine tabs to build me up. This things make me paranoid so in about 10 minutes Ill be probably be a jittering wreck in the corner. Ill probably need a few more than the ones Ive got to get me through today though. First drink I have is going to be a straight up Red Bull.
The only thing that is now getting to me is the fact Cal has gone home, without telling me, after saying how much she was looking forward to the crawl. Hell, if youve gotta bomb out of town for a few days its all good but it would have been nice if you told me you werent coming, instead I hear it off some local hick in The Glen.
More excellent news. As we were walking back some guy kicked the glass door to someones house, right next to a Pig. The people in the house came running out after him. The guy who did it just walked straight over to the Pigs car and waited. Balls of fucking steal. I shouted something like:
"Tear the Pig bastards face off"
No one other than those with me heard it though. That guy really boosted my night to know there are a few good freaks out their still with the guts to do something like that. I hope he gets out without to much of a charge on him, hell Id probably even front bail for the guy. Such contempt for the law, right in front of the copper. Hehe. I couldent help do anything but smile. Just a few brief minutes before the crawl starts and the tabs are working quite nicely now. I feel uber awake.
Blaggard [10:17 AM]
Old welsh nationalists make me laugh. There was just some 70 odd year old woman in Co-Op moaning on about how all the students are coming to 'her' town and taking all the housing and cluttering the place up. I was tempted to give her the ole Nazi salute, but frankly I dont want to get banned from Co-op. I was laughing though. I guess she seemed to forgot about the large amount of money me and my lazy student friends bring to what otherwise would be some inbred backwater hole that no one gives a shit about. As much as that woman would hate to hear it we are this town.
Although it is the pub crawl of very large proportions tomorrow Im tempted to slip down into town tonight, just for a few. A scouting mission you understand, for the good of everyone tomorrow. Yes that sounds about right. I just bought some food and ate 3 pickeled onions.
Blaggard [3:02 PM]
"A devastated Halesowen mother has spoken of her horror after her 13 year-old son was subjected to a second terrifying attack in three months at Windsor High School.
Mum Julie Anne Perkins said Dean had been so traumatised that he had been unable to eat and only told his parents what had happened when the doctor was called.
Julie Anne said: "He'd been pinned to the wall and then punched and kicked to the ground by an older boy.
"Dean couldn't get up and the boy just kept on kicking him."
"The school should have been looking after Dean. They promised me they'd look after him.
"He's not been my lad since last Friday. We are very concerned about him."
Three months ago Julie Anne, of Beeches Vew, Colley Gate, rushed to Russells Hall Hospital to find Dean needed an urgent operation on his left arm after another pupil had pushed him to the ground.
Windsor High head teacher Keith Sorrel said: "I can confirm there has been an incident at the school and we are currently investigating it.
"Neither child is at school at the moment."
Inspector Janette Thomas of Halesowen police said: "We are actively investigating this incident.
"It has been reported and we are going to deal with it."
Windsor High School is and always was a degenerate shit hole full of drug dealers, addicts, thugs and every other peice of shit this side of anywhere. Trust me I had to attend that place for five years. I had myself beaten on a couple of occasions. I hope this kid one day snaps and beats the living shit out of the guy that did it to him, get the backbone I never got. I hope he torches the little shits house.
Blaggard [10:04 AM]
K, Im drunk and have jsut smoked a cuban cigar.
This is one of those pointless post, the first proper pissed psti ince i got here pretty much.
Yet very tired at the sametime.
God knows how Jess knocks back the amount she does, she is a feind like no other. Id even consider challenging Hunter Thompson to out drink her, without the aid of psciobiln of course. Everyone here makes me happy, this has been a good day. Even Terminals like me have them now and then.
Blaggard [12:28 AM]
So here we are then, my drunken ass made it to 19 years old. Miracle eh ? Well so far I have done nothing but get up, did a few Kamakazies in the kitchen last night which was nice. Never tried them before. Mike, cals boyfriend, came down here last night he decided just to take the vodka neat. Ri has a terrible day, she went into Shrewsbury with Jess and Charlie, they took their friend Lisa with them. Lisa drove her fucking insane apparently. She didnt get back till almost 11pm and wasnt overly happy about it. I worry about her sometimes, she gets very stressed out to easily.
She took the day off to go to Shrewsbury, I took the day of to do my washing and get a haircut. There is something definatly wrong with that.
Blaggard [10:41 AM]
Well today has been very busy, especially since I skipped the 101 practical this morning. Naughty me huh? I did my washing which took two grueling hours. Then went down town to get a haircut. Thankfully I didnt have to make an appointment like last time, he just cut my hair right away which saved me an ass load of time bumming around town waiting to get the cut. Got a card come through of bill monster this morning complete with a Corona straight from Havana. That is gonna be a sweet cigar. This will be the first havanan that I will of smoked, I usually come across ones from Honduras. Im expecting top quality! Havent heard word from anyone else. I think I forgot Clowes birthday anyways.
Well as for the rest of the day Ive got some iorning to do :( Then I may watch a film, gotta do some work some time today as well, may actually go and print out some slides for CS103, dreaded CS 103. I got 40 pages of credit available. There is a Marks Hat social tonight, do you think Im gonna go ? Fuck am I.
CompSoc is proper organising an xmas BBQ, that I may go to, just because its cheaper for members, saving me buying and having to cook food myself. Work load is slackening off now, the project, the code at least is finished! Just worksheet 7 to do and my ass Is free of work till revision.
Blaggard [2:28 PM]
Right lets get this shit straight. Fish told me today exactly what happened with his little escapade with Jess on Friday night. The boy should be god damn ashamed of himself. I never asked him anything, he just started talking about it in the union this morning. He fucked her, there is no doubt about that. Then afterwards he pretty much told her to leave because he decided he really didnt want to sleep with her in the first place. He gave her some shit excuse about an ex girlfreind. He hasnt a girlfreind in years.
Im pretty pissed at about he can treat people like that. He said he only did it because he was pissed. So what Im pissed nearly everyday of my life, but I dont do things that bad to people. Sure hell I will curse, scream and call people vonny cunts but I dont use them. He always does it, then decides he shouldent have after. Its just selfish man, people cant be treated like that.
But in the end, what does it matter what I say. I told him it was a really shitty thing to do to someone, its a shame becasue now she doesnt want to be around us, which will probably mean bye bye to charlie and tom as well. Maybe even Rihan when it comes to going out as well.
Anyway lets forget this nasty business and get onto my plans for what I intend to be The Week of Excellence and Self Abuse. Thursday is my birthday as I have probably mentioned a few times already. On Saturday we are doing a big ole pub crawl starting when the doors to the pubs open. Im sure not everyone will be there for then but I hope alot of people come. Will make me feel half loved at the very least. So far I reckon the following people are coming:
Rachel - specifically said, when Ive woken up.
Tracy - said she wouldent drink.
Jason the Average Monstrosity
Spencer - on the night.
Hopefully Tom and Charlie will come along, I like those two. Mark, James, Vicky, Helen and Lisa would be welcome additions as well. Only I ever talk to Mark properly though, at least he is the only one that knows my name. Hopefully they will come along, probably see them in the bar on thursday, ask them then.
Blaggard [11:44 PM]
Lit - My own worst enemy.
Palin says this song suits me right down to the ground. Id say that he is right. When I listen to it it really does sound like me.
Can we forget about the things I said
when I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me, please tell me Why
My car is in the front yard,
and I'm Sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night
And your gone
It's no suprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off,
and there's a cigarette Still burning,
Please tell me why my car is in the front yard
and I'm sleeping with my clothes on
came in through the window last night and your gone
gone please tell me why my car is in the front yard
and I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
It's no suprise to me
I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said
when I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
Blaggard [11:53 PM]
I was just reading through the old boozehound reports of the first time I went to the Waterfront well over a year ago now. In it I talked about Refs Uncles mate Nobby. I dont know wether I spoke about it before but Nobby killed himself. Of all the people I would have never expected Nobby to kill himself. Maybe thats why he drunk like a Terminal.
Well anyway, raise your glasses ladies and gents to Nobby. Because although I only met him once or twice he seemed like a really nice guy.
Blaggard [12:19 PM]
Right this second I should be cramming. Getting those final few scraps of information into the brain before the exam. But when you come in from a tutorial to find Rihan more depressed than my usual self things like exams can get bent. She looks so down, she said she was upset but didnt want to talk about it. But then after said she was thinking about leaving. To make matters worse she has a pretty heavy head cold. I really hope she doesent leave, Ill miss her. Rihan is one of the few people Ive been able to talk to about anything since Ive got here. It almost seems like she gives a fuck about me. The late night drunken talks weve had have been great. Hehe, the time I got her singing to me at 3am one drunken Saturday morning Ill never forget.
I hope she doesent go. I wish she would talk to me about it the way she makes me talk to her about things. But Im not going to try and stop her if she really wants to go. We all gotta do whatever seems Right.
Thats why Ive started smoking Camels again, because it seemed like the Right thing to do when I was in the union. It could be worse, I could get back on the Marlboro Reds. Death in the hour or your money back with those tar monsters.
When this exam is over I can relax a little. Just a little mind.
I wonder if Gemma and Rachel want to go to RocSoc again tomorrow. Have to ask them I suppose.
Blaggard [11:49 AM]
The Mania it appears is over.
Crashing back down to earth is fuck.
Blaggard [10:08 PM]
I have done nothing but Java all day today and Im bored of my ass. Although Java is interesting doing it straight all afternoon is tiresome. Well hopefully it will be worth it and Ill pass this test on Monday. Fish and the others have gone to watch Harry Potter. They never asked me to go. Fish probably knew my awnser would be "Id drather eat my own entrails". Im not a big fan of that wizard.
Palin said he would come over the PJM bar later, so Ill go and sit in there for a bit. Sink a couple of beers then come back here and do nothing I imagine. The work just stares at me. Then after this test Ive got a Java project and another worksheet to do. Great. As soon as the project and work sheet are done Im taking a week off and doing nothing. Next weekend Im doing Nothing. By nothing of course I mean workwise. Its my birthday on Thursday, Ill be 19. Its not a birthday Im overly looking forward to. I mean hell Im looking forward to the partying and the ensured madness. Its the reason I get up in the morning. There are just a shit load of reasons why I dont want to be 19. Ones that Im not even going to lay down on here.
Cals gone to see Timmy Mallet. Rihan is probably staggering round drunk or pilled up to the Foo Fighters. Lucky girl. Here I am hunkered down in Room D at the top of Penglais hill, with no light except my desk lamp, listening to Korn. Khang is franticaly trying to whip his database project into shape for Monday. Im glad I didnt do databases. Palin is watching the mummy returns and Joesph.....well I havent seen Joesph at all today.
Ive almost finished Fight Club, I read very good books very fast. It definatly has a lot of mind grinding stuff in there.
Rambling? definatly. It avoids looking at the horror of Arrays.
private int list = new NumberList;
Blaggard [8:39 PM]
This is going to be a stupid whiney little kid post.
Im angry and happy at the same time it feels odd and werid. Im happy because last night was King Hell excellent. It was a good ole night on the booze, sank more beers than I can remember, talked to loads of people and even got served quickly in The Glen. Which is a miracle all by itself. Hehe then me and Palin went running into the sea, literally. I knew it was only a matter of time until we did that.
Yet what pissed me off last night is Fish. He pulled Jess, went back to hers and fucked her. Yeah well so what, it would be pretty childish of me to get angry everytime someone got some just because I never do. But I know he is probably going to be round here later saying how he shouldent have done it. Im going to have to listen to him bitch on about it. Well the simply awnser is dont treat women like shit. Hell I know Jess and she just did it for the sake of doing. She already has once this week. Fish does treat women like shit, to him they are just something to fuck and brag about. I just cant understand how he can treat people like meat, it makes me want to fucking vomit. Yet they kept going to him. That gets to me as well I suppose. One day Ill probably smack him one over it. I tell you, if he starts talking about it today Im going to bellow a string of profanitys at him. All though it sounds nasty to say such things over a comrade I hope one fucks him over, just to teach him a lesson.
Blaggard [10:48 AM]
Right Ive thrown up a politcal link section along the side. Mainly becasue Im feeling very polticaly charged today. Its been a while since I took a gander at Infoshop, made me want to blow up banks.
So then last night was excellent. Sat around in the Pjm bar and watched the kareoke singers give it their all. Got drunker than what I expected. Went to Fish monsters house and did a load of lagers. He was trying to clear some of the stock pile. Everything is just piled up in the kitchen. Jason destroyed himself yet again. They boy is well on the way to The Bottom. I hope he truely understands it when he gets there. Maybe I should suggest to him the final way Down.
Fight Club is having an interesting effect on me. The film is nothing compared to this book. The book is excellent. A camera arrived in the post today from the Crone, for my inpending birthday next week. It is quite a good camera. Dont think I will take it with me tonight however, destroying on the day I get it is not the best Idea.
Hitting the town tonight. Dont know who is coming or who isnt. There is a good chance that it is just going to be us lads again tonight. All my lectures are spent in rooms full of men, it is often unbearable. Hopefully they will all come along, just to keep me sane and I suppose stop me going swimming. I like swimming.
Anyway kids, Im going to prepare my see for the booze. Im still in mania mode so Im pretty Up For Anything tonight. Madness. Smashing windows, sea fishing, Mescaline. The full works. Yes, if a job is worth doing it is worth doing it right.
Blaggard [7:39 PM]
Not much going on in the world of Wales at the moment. Been revising and going to lectures all day. Gonna go drink some booze in the PJM bar, 99p a pint on the carling Im told. Well shit, who am I to refuse. Beers all round. Ive worked like the methphorical clappers today, need a break. A mini blowout before the hideously decadent explosion of Friday night. Im in the mood for heavy lashings on the craziness. Throw caution to the dogs, lets get Serious. I should be feeling like this next week, when it was my birthday week. Oh well nevermind. I like the mania, makes me feel like Im coked up to the eyeballs. I wish the maina lasted forever.
Blaggard [8:01 PM]
Im tired. I barely got any project work done at all. I wrote a loop statement then lay down on my bed. Phased in and out for 30 mins. Did actually realise how to complete the section Im working on at the moment so it wasnt wasted.
Yes sleep is something that needs to be done. Im listening to Lennon. Imagine was a great song.
Go and smoke a crack rock.
Blaggard [11:47 PM]
Fight Club is turning out to be a good book. Not what I expected it to be like when I first put through the order, expected a different structure to it. Yet it is however still a pretty good book. I will probably read this one quite a few times to compile and understand all the information its throwing out. Then Ill finish of Proud Highway. As much as I love Hunter Thompson's work and see him as a bit of a role model going through massive piles of his personal corresponance can be a bit of a fucking trudge at times.
Gemma, Rachel and Tracy came round earlier to have a look at the photos, gave them a link to my photos website as well. I migh learn how to do some proper HTML coding when this exam is out of the way. As it stands now Ive simply had enough of revision, the idea of it makes my head want to explode in a ball of hellfire. So it looks like project work will take up quite a big chunk of the evening. Tomorrow Ill probably get myself into some kind of workable shape by 11 and attempt to do a good three hours, Ive already done more than the suggested four hours since the last lecture. Probably done about 5 or 6 hours since Tuesday afternoon, that will be up by at least another one by tomorrow.
Shit, I sound like such a boring bastard. That is the way I get sometimes when the screws are tightening. Methodical. What else is going on around here then. Rihan wasnt very happy today. She is regretting doing the course she did as there isnt much acting in it until the second year, acting is what she loves. She was thinking about leaving. It was a fucking bastard to see her like that, I wanted to say something to her to cheer her up a bit. But the mind just ground to a halt. Seeing her so down was horrible.
I ate a boul of soup, it was fantastic.
Blaggard [9:05 PM]
Last night was a lot of fun. Me and Rachel got a bit drunk. Rachel started headbanging, she seemed to be really getting into the thing. Both of them asked me if I want to live with them next year. I accepted immeadiatly. I find it hard to beileve there are people who actually want to live with me and drunken habits. Then again, they have to live with Jason so they are used to much more monstrous things.
We talked for hours. Found a place that does 99p a pint lager. Tastes like shag, but hey, its 99p. Everyone seems to be getting psyched for the marathon of a pub crawl im gonna do next Saturday for my birthday.
I need to do more revision, fuck. Had to go into town today to pick up a parcel which turned out to be Fight Club. Im already a few chapters through the thing.
The sky looks crazy today.
Blaggard [3:05 PM]
Aber watch out. Im of out on the booze with Gemma and Rachel. RocSoc and then probably the peir. Im not going to be cruel and make them suffer RocSoc all night, they will hate it. Im just happy they wanted to come along in the first place.
Yes Im definatly on a happy buzz since Saturday. No idea why really. Maybe Im just starting to wake up.
Blaggard [7:31 PM]
I wish I had a camera the view out of my window is absolutly beautiful.
Blaggard [3:51 PM]
Jason - A brief psychoanalysis of an Average Monstrosity
Jason got himself fucked up royal last night. He sat there watching a film with Fish consumed vodka and smabucca( a combined total of well over 1 litre) rolled down to this house. Sat in our kitchen slurring his words and throwing beer mats at Palin. Screaming obsenitys and talking complete bollocks. This was definatly the most pissed I have ever seen Jason. He ran outside and started retching but did not vomit at all. Came back into our house and sat in the corner talking more complete jibberish. I found it all intensely funny. In the end the whole of his house came to collect him. The rest of this account is based on what is relayed to me by Fish.
He got back and collapsed on the floor, couldent talk English anymore and started throwing whatever was within his grasp at people. Several times he tried it on with Gemma and Tracy. Rolled accross the floor informing everyone that he was now a Swiss Roll. Shouted at Mig:
"I dont like being told what to do. If I liked been told what to do I would have joined the Army...or the Cadets just like a military type like you"
Staggered outside and vomited all over the place.
Yes Jason is an average monstrosity as he likes to put it. But I will tell you why Jason drinks himself into such a degenerate stupor. He hates himself. He hates who is, what he looks like, what people think of him, everything he thinks he will ever be. He hates the fact no women like him. The booze is probably the only thing that keeps him half sane. He drinks so much because all he wants is escape for a few hours from the hell that is his life, whatever grounds the brain quickest. I should know I was, and still am to a certain extent, just like him. Well in some ways. To Jason all the pain of the hangover and pissing people off is worth it, because for a few hours he forgets who and what he is. A great deal of it is also probably a cry for help.
His drinking binges have become more frequent of late. The general consenus is that he has fallen for Tracy. This combined with his low self opinion and the fact that he will never be with her or someone like her will only extenuate his low self opinion. The boy is fucked and he knows it. All be wants is some escape, in the end I wouldent be surprised if we have to talk him out of doing something Terminal to himself. Everyone thinks he cant get much lower than this, but trust me as someone who has been there when I say that Jason is just getting started. In a few weeks they are going to be wishing for the day when he did this becasue he was easier to deal with. Im not the only one who has noticed a growing violent nature within Jason in the last few weeks. Things are building up, last night he was more forthcoming with the violence. When he explodes and explodes properly Gods mercy on whoever he turns his anger against.
I have more tolerance than most for him because I used to be exactly like him. I mean shit, its not like Ive ever had a girlfriend or anything. Ive been on dates but there has never been no serious relationship, or for that matter anytime I would considered to be with anyone. So in that way I can definatly sympathise. Hell in some ways I worse than him. Ill never forget the time I just woke up Sunday morning and got pissed on cheap wine because it killed the pain of having to face another day of being me.
As I said Jason is fucked and he knows he is. There is nothing more dangerous than a man with nothing worth losing. The Madness I feel is just warming up, I should probably be around when he explodes as at least I have a sort of calming effect on him. Im probably the only person who doesnt rip the piss out of him.
Hmm, thats probably the most reflective Ive ever been on this blog.
Blaggard [1:28 PM]
Well well well. Today has been long although we made further serious headway with the Java project. The end is in sight I feel. A few more heavy sessions of code monekying and the thing should be done. Then there is plenty of time for 'tweaks' to try and boost the project mark through the roof.
Mark Ratcliffe dyed his hair red for managing to collect a load of cash for Children in Need. CompSoc tried to get themselves kicked off today, they are offering free pool in the Acadamy on Thursday. Im tempted, mainly by their efforts to be non geeky. I dont think I could stand another Marks Hat event, as much as I like the website. Java jokes are just a few steps to far in my mind.
Im tempted to fire of an email saying Ill be there, be there with a good posse If I can be assured of non geekiness.
In less happy news Gemma seems very down today. I was going to talk to her but there were always people around and I sure as hell like talking about things with lots of people around so I can only presume she wouldent like it that much either. Ill talk to her tomorrow. Hopefully she and Rachel still want to go along to RocSoc, then I was thinking maybe hitting the peir. Just for the sake of it.
Vivez sans temp mort.
Blaggard [8:22 PM]
I finally threw up my photos from Tenerife back in July. Its much easier to do with this lightning fast connection. The photos section is getting a little crammed, Im going to code on up a seperate web page for them sometime. Might get started on it tonight before I go to bed. Going to be in the computer room with Fish pretty much all day today getting as much done on the Jarrva project as is humanly possible to code in one day.
Yes absoltly no food, tobacco consumption through the roof. I however have lost my lighter. Went to the PJM bar last night and the geek in me took over and I started knocking back the Java's. It was actually extremly nice. Hell, might even have to break my no alcopops in large amounts rule next time. But hell, no booze till Tuesday. Gemma and Racheal said they wanted to come to RocSoc. They will absolutly hate it, but its nice they wanna come with me.
Blaggard [11:57 AM]
Excellent. I went round to say sorry to Gemma, I was kinda dreading doing it. She was still really nice to me and said that she was worried about me. It feels good to know people care about you.
Also I have learnt that no matter how good an idea trying to neck a bottle of whiskey at 3am seems it just isnt worth it. Im never doing that again, well until the next time I do it.
Blaggard [2:42 PM]
I fucked up.
There is no doubt about this, I fucked up big time. We went on the booze last night. I had a good time, accept in The Glen where they always serve everyone but me at the bar. But I had a good time. Then for some crazy reason I went insane on the way back home, screaming at everyone that its been the third shit weekend in a row and I was going to quit Uni. At the time I was very serious about this. Then like a dozy cunt I decided the best course of action was to try and cram as much whiskey down my throat as I possible could. So now today I have to go and apoligize to Gemma for screaming at her. Why did I do that? She has only ever been nice to me. Im a stupid cunt.
Blaggard [10:57 AM]
What a werid fucking day this is turning into. This is literally 30 free minutes I have now to escape from the oddness. Children in Need Fever seems to have gripped the campus, everyone is getting on down with the spirit. They bought Mark along to the lecture today literally in shackles. He cancelled the lecture because he was in no way capable of teaching, we then got assulted with water pistols and donated some money to the Cause.
Me and Ben got a sandwich, went to the Union, began the process of realcoholificaiton. This I feel could be a good Friday. The workshop has also been cancelled as well, leaving it all wide open for a good time. Vivez sans temp mort.
Blaggard [3:07 PM]
Ah what did I tell you, she is on her way back right now.
Mark Ratcliffe has been kidnapped by a collection of his Accolytes. This one is actually a pretty good idea as it is to raise money for children in need, rather than just some arse goblin of geeky joke.
Think I will throw a good few quid in as it is a good cause. Yes. The FBI have also released a pretty heavy warning of renewed attacks. Im glad Im currently living on what is virtually the edge of the world. I only have to worry about Welsh nationalists and they are a tame bunch, unless you parade around with the St Georges Cross on you, but Im pretty much the anti-patriot so there isnt much chance of that going down.
Blaggard [12:27 PM]
Well shit is definatly going on around here this morning. Jenny the mature student in Bens house has gone AWOL no one has seen her for a day or so. Her alarm went of at 7am but she wasnt in her room. Ben is over reacting a doing a freak, the Filth have gotten the word and as crime is virtually non-existant in Aber they probably have the whole force looking for the girl.
She has only been gone about a day. I reckon shell turn up in an hour or so with a raging hangover wondering why the fuck the police are about. Or maybe she just had enough and wanted some quiet time, hell even I fucked off by myself last weekend and hunkered down on the beach with a pack of baccy just to watch the waves crash around. The whole thing is gettin blown out the water, now if she doesent turn up by tomorrow morning. Then even my anti-filth self would at least alert them, they have their odd uses.
Apparently she has been acting all werid lately. Lets just hope she hasnt decided to do something drastic, shit like that is reserved for Terminals like me.
Blaggard [11:20 AM]
Right Ive finally come around to the notion that it was a good thing we bombed out early last night. It was a total geek fest. I mean shit, people were pulling Java jokes. I was half smiling at jokes about a damned programming language for fucks sake man!
Marks Accolytes(as I think I will now dub them) were out in force today setting up the pictures of the night in the lecture. Im going to link them, only because some of them are so funny youll die from laughter. Matt, a pretty sound guy I know here, shamed himself it would appear. This girl was apparently very popular, she does not do comp sci. Hell, good job I got out when I did. I think that will end my brief flirtation with comp sci socials. Although I say that now......
Went for a balti tonight with Palin, was nice.
Blaggard [1:10 AM]
Well it all ended up as a bit of lame fuck around. Fish didnt really want to be there and Ben was tired of it by about 10:30. I was up for another proper night on the tiles, all out hell bent booze fest. We left when they headed to the bay. Went to Nosh Da with ben and had a burger. Nevermind, there is tomorrow night. Just party extra hard then. Or then again tomorrow night could turn out to be another fuck up of a weekend. Everyone is going to give blood on Friday, meaning they cant drink. Im betting a few decide to stay in. Well fuck it, I need another night like Cals birthday. An all out night, no holds bar. A nice swim in the sea maybe.
Did manage to talk to one person on the course last night, Wictor. He is from Poland, you know, next to Germany. Excellent guy. Shame we didnt finish the thing of right and go to The Bay. Nevermind.
This morning wasnt very good for me. Had a bit of a freak out and sat on the floor for a good 30 minutes mulling over various things. Yeah. Did manage to get one of my Java worksheets finished though. Need to crack on with the coursework as well.
Fuck it. This weekend best be a lot better than the last two. Even if it just ends up as me touring the pubs like a lonely alcoholic then so be it. A hell bent boozeathon is definatly in order.
Blaggard [12:29 PM]
Ok its about time I laid this thing down. The weekend went a bit belly up didnt it. I sat alone on the beach for hours on end just thinking really sad and down thoughts. Yes I smoked an absolute shit load this weekend. I talked to Rihan about why I was down and she was pretty understanding. I was in a shitty ratty mood with everyone, but they never said anything to me. Then what made it worse is everyone kept asking me if I was ok and why I was down. What really made it worse is that the girl in question kept asking me. Im not really down about it anymore, Ill just drift along the way I always have done. I did the ultimate brain grounding last night which I think was the final thing that needed to be done to clear the mind. It seems to have worked pretty well.
She said she is going to come over and see me today sometime, hope its not to late because Im going out again with the compsci lot for another night on the town, heavy. Im really touched that she actually cares though, I know it probably isnt the sort of cares I was hoping for.
Last night however was fantastic, just the sort of thing I needed. A total blow out, madness from all directions and at all hours. It was Cals birthday so we went to Varsity and then The Pier. Started nice and early here then a load of her friends came over, including Charlie and Tom, two I met a few times the weekend. Excellent people, shame I was in such a shitty mood I didnt really talk to them much. Anyway did a shit load of beers in the Varsity then rolled into the Pier at about 10:30. Stone drunk. Feed shots into Cal and into myself for that matter. Came out, got a kebab, something a guy, Jake, thought was an excellent idea. Got back here, went to bed about 3, up at 7:30, threw up twice. Went to the lecture still drunk. Fantastic. The comp sci lot are doing a pub crawl tonight. I shall be in attendance as I was to get to know a few people on my course. I think Palin might be coming as well. Thrown up some photo links along the side.
Blaggard [2:32 PM]
Im running on sickly mix of depression and anger. Total loss of Control is now inevitable, Gods mercy on those around me when I finally lose it.
Blaggard [1:31 PM]
Do not Fuck with me now. I am rage incarnate. I am burning hatred.
The rage feels good sometimes, power beyond words and actions. I am indestructable. Yes. I am going to tear apart something beautiful and burn perfection. Ha, the old me is back, its time to get nasty, dirty and very fucking violent.
Blaggard [1:50 AM]
I cant beileve she slept with him, she didnt even know him. Welcome back to 15.
Terminal point is now.
Blaggard [2:39 PM]
I am Jacks burning hatred.
Am I very angry this morning. Well not so much angry as sad and depressed. The anger is definatly building up for some reason that I only partially understand. Things went well for most of last night, untill near the end. When someone did something that really messed up my mind, but to anyone else I know who happens to be reading this it is not at all what you think it is. Hell no, its not that. Its my own fault pretty much that Im in this terrible mood, I shouldent let myself get into the train of thought and emotion that I happened to wonder down again. Especially when I reason and a bit of logic would have clearly told me none of it was true. It has been a long time since I let myself think such things, getting on for 4 years now infact. I want to destroy beauty, because I will never understand it.
Did manage to knock out a chorus of Father Abraham with some guys outside Penbryn on the way home. Everyone told me I didnt know the words, I do however know the words. Im just at a different part in the evolutionary cycle to them, I knew the words on a completly different level.
Blaggard [11:04 AM]
Did a load on the coursework yesterday, nothing else can be done now until we have been taught about how to do arrays. The programming stuff is actually getting pretty interesting now. But then programming was always interesting to me, its probably the lecturing technique of Mark Ratcliffe that makes it more interesting. He is that passionate about what he does you just help being passionate about it as well.
For some ungodly reason I woke up at 8:30 this morning, no lectures till 1pm which happens to be programming. Where we will be going further into the esoteric depths of arrays. May even go over some CS152 notes in my two hour break this afternoon, the current work we are going through is getting a bit heavy on the ole brain. That many standards and protocols to memerize. Learnt how CD-R's and RW's worked yesterday, that was actually pretty interesting. CD-R's use a type of dye that is destroyed when a laser of a certain intensity hits it.
Last night at about 9, after Id done a shag load of work, I went with a few people to the kareoke thing at the PJM bar. £1 a pint. There were some god awful singers there, but there were indeed two guys who really just got up there to take the piss out of songs and charecters of popularity. Infact from where I was sitting they looked a bit like Jay and Silent Bob. They did togeather :
-2 unlimited, theres no limit
- aqua, barbie girl.
The bigger guy with the beard did Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh by himself as well. That was pretty hilarious. Everyone was in stitches after that performance.
Tonight of course sees Fish's birthday, Im pretty sure this thing is going to be pretty damn memorable(well besides booze induced memory loss). Lots of heavy drinking, it has been a while since an event of this magnitude has been thrown my way, where there is nothing left to do accept get down and drinking till I pass out. Shit, even that beligerant drunkard Jason has cancelled his trip home this weekend so here is for plenty of drunken madness. He told me the other night that he intended to get drunker than he usually does. That should be something interesting to see, Ive already seen him drink himself into a coma in the month or so that Ive known him.
CompSoc have also got their ass in gear and have arranged a weekly social down at the acadamy on Thursday nights. That is good as not only does it allow me to still go to RocSoc if I want but I got nothing till 1pm on Fridays so its a booze all round. My book that Im writing, I may not even have been mentioned on here before, is starting to take shape. I had 26 pages of the true account of stuff that actually happened to me the first time in Tenerife, then about another 16 pages of the second time I went. They have been used as a starting point for my novel, of which Im not sure on the title yet. Probably it will be something to do with Chicken Devils. The whole thing will probably end of a hideous waste of time and resources but nevermind. Ive always wanted to write a book and I intend to give it a shot. Ill out do Hunter Thompson yet!
Blaggard [9:21 AM]
Yesterday was Fish monsters birthday. It was an odd day. We went to lectures as normal, I finished around 10 and went to the students union to play some pool. In the afternoon we went booze shopping for his party on Friday night. We went well over £60 on alcohol. Got a trolley and went straight to the booze without stopping anywhere else. Threw in the trolley:
- 2 cases of Carling lager
- 1 bottle of vodka(1.5L)
- 2 cases of VK alcopops.
- 16 Sidekicks, of varying flavours.
- 1 bottle of some werid Martini mix which Gemma was insistent on.
- 3 cartons of pure orange juice and 2 bottles of coke(for the Vodka you understand)
That is just really to start the proceedings off. The house is going to be rammed beyond its legal capacity. So everyone has been to told to supply a quantity of their own gear as well. Our Vodka stash nows for the evening at 3.5L, Fish got a bottle of Smirnoff and I have a bottle of Grants. We are all beligerant drunkards. Spencer assures that 1.5L of Vodka will not be enough for when he gets to the Vodka challenege. Which Im sure some tit will be stupid enough to take at some point during the night. Im betting Joesph might be up for it, when he drinks he always seems to be up for whatever fucks him up the quickest. A logic I can understand, Ive been there and to certain extent am still there.
Fish went to buy a camera and then we went to the Acadamy for lunch. Had a lamb burger with a pint of the Budweiser. Then later we went to the PJM bar for what was intended to be a few drinks. For me it was, three pints infact. Fish however was bought a large proportion of triple vodkas and coke etc. He was drunk, not overly drunk though. It wasnt like he was going to go all Rihan on us. That one is reserved until Friday night......
Blaggard [10:16 AM]
More news on the now almost Uni wide Marks Hat Kidnapping. The culprits turned up today with a big safe and gave it to him. They hold him it contained the Hat. He gets the code for the safe once he has compelted 11 challeneges thus giving him a mobile phone number. He did the first one today, which was to sing the Aber Town song infront of the whole class. I must say this guy is taking it all quite well, he said the only thing that bothered him was he prefered to sing when he was drunk.
He is an excellent lecturer. Well actually he is more like one of the lads. Hehe, one of the other lecturers commented that "he was acting more like a first year student than the first year students do".
I signed up to a mailing list to get the latest information on the case. Its winding some people up, but I really do find this whole thing amusing. Anyway, Im of to the bay to watch a firework display. Dont think Ill drink much tonight. Aye, but I say that everytime. The BBC has a new article about excessive boozing in this country. Well fuck it, maybe people should look at the causes of it rather than moaning like a bunch of bitches on heat. I enjoy the madness, Im very Hunter Thompson like when it comes to such things.
"Arms, my only ornament - my only rest, the fight" - Cervantes.
A toast ladies and gentlement, to the fantastic student life that Im living right now. May these days never end, may I never grow old.
Blaggard [7:08 PM]
Yes I almost forgot to mention that Mark Ratcliffe turned up to the 122 lecture dressed like a rabbit in order to get his hat back which was stolen at Aberdyfi. It was hilarious.
Later on an email that he recieved was forwarded to all of us containing a brief message from the kidnappers and a photo of a written letter from his hat. Then at the bottom a photo of a guy with a black blaclaver on feeding the hat. This thing is pretty funny, Im interested to see what things they come up with next.
Nothing much else going on round here, played pool in the union but that is about it. Got more lectures later, might even do some of the coursework thing tonight. Dont overly fancy a night out. Session 9 is starting agan on Thursday so I might pop along and see the band that is playing. Depends how Im feeling.
Time since last food consumption = 22hours.
Blaggard [2:46 PM]
Last night was quiet in the only way Uni life could be quiet. Most of the night it was me here by myself. Khang and Joesph went round Fish's house, I stayed in and did some work (switch statements rock my world!).
Gemma and Racheal came around about 9ish maybe we talked for a bit. Spoke to them, they want to do something for bonfire night, which is tonight. I however probably wont do anything, need to save cash for boozeathon on Friday, gotta buy a case tomorrow for everyone. Why? because I said I would. Anyway I have a bit of soft spot for a guy like Guy Fawkes, a man with ambition.
Then around 10 Jason turned up at the door, pissed as a cunt. He had decided to buy a bottle of vodka from the co-op and then proceed to drink a large proportion of it, by himself back at his house. I stayed downstairs with him for an hour or so where he talked about cars and his opinion on modern art. Thankfully he didnt deem it nessacery to reiterate his opinion on hip hop music. Hehe, that is one I could definatly do without hearing again.
Went to bed around 12ish. Still havent managed to catch up on sleep from the weekend. Not that it matters much now, Ive slipped back into that pattern of 5-6 hours sleep quite well I think. Only done one night of very early risings and that was when I went to Rocsoc last time. Doubt I will be going tonight.
Mo and Clowe are meant to be coming down this weekend, whether they do or not is an enitrely different question. Ive got an extra lecture thrown in today after CS10fucking3. A CS152 workshop, laugh riot Im sure. Tomorrow we are going booze shopping for Friday. I suggested doing it Friday morning, we all have weak self control. I would bet a few quid on that booze being touched well before Friday. Fish says we are going to need a car to transport it all. Yes! we arent fucking around with this party. Gemma has been inviting people who she barely knows, the house is going to be rammed. Gods Mercy on their neighbours and infact the rest of PJM because we are not going to show anything of that sort.
Gotta get to work on our coursework as well sometime this week. Not due in till December 6th, but there is going to be lots of shit to deal with before then, more worksheets, more tests. The screws are beginning to tighten, it might almost be time for the ultra work again. Same routine as last time I think. Serious hunkering down during the day, major blow outs on the weekend. Just let my liver hold out a little longer.
They take rent tomorrow, I will then owe people money. When thats gone Im going to be owing people money. Debt collecters are fucks.
Blaggard [9:09 AM]
Ive thrown up a link to the lecturers Aberdyfi photos. Hell I hated that weekend.
Blaggard [8:51 AM]
Somewhere around the 4th pint I had a shocking realisation about someone round here. It was odd.
Gemma and Rachel said they wanted to come along to Rocsoc this week. So I may make the effort and go along as I have only been once in 6 weeks. That should be cool.
Then of course Friday is The Boozeup for Fishmonsters birthday, infact I need to order his present today and check my bank balence for that matter. I spent £70 last week just on going out, crazy.
Blaggard [8:46 AM]
So Im back from my team building weekend in Aberdyfi. There is no point beating around the fact that I think it was a lame fuck around where nothing much got done. Half the people there pissed me off to a terrible degree. Friday night was good for a few hours though, got talking to everyone in the bar.
On the Friday night I got into the dares and drinking games which was a really good laugh. That bit I will admit I enjoyed. Everyone was tired on Saturday night so didnt really do much accept the one table. I wanted to go and join them but then I would have felt guilty for ditching the others. I tell you Saturday night was the most tedious thing in the world.
Im royaly pissed off with a lot of people at the moment I need to calm down a bit.
Halloween was a cracking night. I got really drunk. Tried it on with Cal and Rihan when I got back and finished off a bottle of wine Id started at the start of the night. Fell asleep in the kitchen where Palin and Joesph tried to draw a monacle on me. Apparently I came round and tried to bribe them with vodka to convince them not to do it. I fell over trying to get up the stairs, that I remember. I felt shit all day Friday, but it was funny. Didnt drink hardly anything at Aberdyfi due to the "quality" of their lager. PJM bar at the very least tonight, then, well who knows. Actaully Rihan pulled a shady trick this weekend, she went home without telling Joesph that she was going anywhere, leaving him here by himself with no time to organise anything. Thankfully Gemma, Rachel and Tracy realised what had happened and went and rescued him. I told him several times over the last few days that I wasnt going to be around on the weekend. Its been a bit of a bummer. Im gonna go and literally kill myself with booze tonight in PJM I think. Yes! Death by alcohol, its like death by chocolate but with more vomiting.
Think I may smoke a whole pack of fine quality Tobacco as well. No work in for tomorrow.
Actaully this didnt turn out as the hate rate I had planned. When I got back Gemma and Tracy had left a little "come round and see as soon as you get back" note which boosted my mood through the roof.
Uni good, Aberdyfi bad.
Blaggard [6:07 PM]