Yesterday night was crazy and werid. We hit spoons around 6:30 and had a Balti, I trained as many Coronas as I possibly could. Cambrian, Varsity and then the Pier. I was twisted, screwed, fucked, wasted, shit faced. I was getting erratic and crazy like when I was in Tenerife. I met Adian, I know who is now. Gemma was angry with him, very angry. The way she was talking it was almost like she was giving me permission to kick the shit of him. Jess was getting it on with pretty much every guy in the club. She didnt really need her FuckToy(me) last night. Hehe Im not bitter despite how that sounds. Its not like we are togeather. I had a good time. In the end I left about 1:15 I was shit faced and on the verge of bottling Adian. I stuck a bottle in my pocket incase I saw him outside later.
Started to walk back by myself and some Northener from the village started talking to me. Oddly he had left the pier because he wanted to bottle someone as well, we both agreed that leaving was the best choice. I felt bad for him as it was just him, his ex and some twat. We talked about accomodation next year and the recent robbings of student houses. He was a good guy, Ive forgotten his name but we got on quite well. Got back here and due to one reason or the other Clare ended up coming round till about 5am. Clare is cool. Dont go getting ideas, I dont even know where to begin telling you whats wrong with that......
Anyway Im off into town again tonight with everyone. Bought a new case, should arrive tomorrow, and Unreal 2 as a way of patting myself on the back about the exams.
werd to the motherfucker.
Blaggard [6:42 PM]
Exam results were published this morning. For some reason I really didnt give a fuck this time, kind of werid I know. Anyway heres the lay down of them:
Semester 1 Mark
CS10110 Intro To Comp Equip 76 1st
CS10310 Theoretical Comp Sci 55 2:2
CS12230 Intro To Programming 71 1st
CS15210 Comms + Telematics 68 2:1
Well yea as you can imagine Im very please with these results. Very surprised by 101 and 152, I thought Id only just scrape a pass in 152 at best. 101 I knew I hadnt done badly in but I never expected to get anywhere near a first. 103, who gives a fucking shit about theoretical computer science. As much fun as fucking herpes, I wont ever have to look at that boring bollocks again however. Im also very pleased with 122, that was the sweetness. Put a lot of hard work into that with the project.
Talking of projects this terms solo project is coming quite nicely, Im surprised by how many hours Im putting into it. Im oddly ahead of Fish in what Ive figured out for it, which surprises me greatly as he is a bit of a Java wizz.
Anyway its all good. Im going to Spoons for 6:30 this evening and will fuck myself up in the traditional fashion. I have to be relative straight by 4pm to give a presentation about MP3, OGG Vorbis and online-sharing.
Blaggard [1:58 PM]
CompSoc was good last night. I got a bit drunk, Gem and Rach came along to the Pier with us. I spent much of the evening talking to a 5th year named Mark. He was a pretty good guy, I was surprised he was in his 5th year. He thought I was in my second. It was a good night on all accounts, I ate a kebab.
Im getting a bit irate at the moment due to nicotine withdrawal. Havent had a cigarette since Friday night so Im turning into grumpy "Your all cunts" boy. Ive spent the last hour or so coding like crazy. Think Ill take a bit of a break and do some reading.
Blaggard [12:37 PM]
This week is exam results week. They are published on Thursday and hopefully there is going to be some kind of hideous drunken freakout or such like taking place. It appears everyone is going home next weekend. Rhi, Jess, Charlie(well she is off camping), Jason, Palin. I have decided to try and avoid going back to Birmingham till the summer...at the very earliest. Im trying to angle getting a place of my own for the summer months. Get a job pullin pints just to suport the rent like. Maybe Penbryn will put me up, as much as the idea distrubs me I would still get free net access from them. Yes I decided to try and avoid going back to Birmingham after the last visit by The Crone. She went off on one like she always does and I just thought: "I never want to have to put up with this shit again". It all came flooding back, every single reason why coming to Uni has been a dream since I was 14. Do you know what stands out the most about my child hood? The sound of that womans voice screeching and moaning about how clean things are or bellowing on about some pointless crap.
Freedom tastes too good to give up.
She doesent control me anymore. Birmingham is a god damn shit hole anyway. If I ever had kids, which I hope I dont, raising them in a place like Birmingham should be considered child abuse. The shit I was exposed to there couldent help but tap with my head. It gets to a point where people get killed and you just dont give a shit. Pigs run around armed too the teeth..you wonder if your bus is going to be late. People you grew up with end up on scag, you wonder if the dealer is ripping them off. You go to school, people carry pistols and the teachers are fucking kids. The teachers who dont are just to plain scared to do anything about drug dealers. Pubs you drink in get burnt to the ground by small time drug pushers. Is it any wonder Im the way I am now? I suppose it was inevitable I ended up like this. Its not like I can overly criticize drug dealers as I have used their services on oaccasions, but not fuckers like those.
While here in Wales, I have not once been approached by a 13 year old kid trying to get me to buy him 12 litres of cider. Not once been threatened by anyone, never even been close to a fight. Hell even the filth leave me alone. The pigs here actually seem like they arent crooked. Thats gotta be bullshit though.
Blaggard [11:09 AM]
Watched a couple of films today and did fuck all work, which is unfortunate considering I do have a rather large workload at the moment. Im going over to Jess's to watch the BAFTA awards at 9 this evening so the chances of getting anything worthwhile done today is now very slim. Im going to do a little reading on some Java stuff that Im going to need to know how to do for this project, delve into the API a bit and the text books.
Tomorrow its CompSoc and I will be in residence for the evening. Acadamy, Beechings, Cambrian and then the Pier. Fish came back tonight instead of waiting till tomorrow. werd to the boy. Birmingham is a fucking shit hole. Fuck it, Halesowen can rot.
Blaggard [8:18 PM]
Well well well. Last night was cool. We played drinking games while on the town. The one called "I have never....". The things I found out about people very interesting and in Spencers case very disturbing. I have a new found respect for Rhi after some of the antics she has gotten up to. Spencer was then jabbering on about having midget sex all night. Werid and very disturbing. Went to the Glen and something very odd occured. I decided to stop drinking for the evening. I finished a bottle of java and just thought " thats enough for tonight me lad". Bought a cigarette of a very nice looking girl and talked about how much better the glen was last term to some 20 odd year old at the bar.
Got in a taxi with jess and came back here. Offfered to make her a drink but she collapsed, shit faced on the floor. Had to make sure she got home ok.
Everyone knows we have been fucking.
Watch the rugby this afternoon, it actually interested me. I kinda wanted Wales to win.
Blaggard [8:20 PM]
Me and Jess fucked again last night. Which was pretty nice. However we have now decided to cool it a bit as its getting a little too often to just be considered friends who fuck occasionally.
We played in the pub quiz, we did better than usual but didnt win anything which was no good. But nevermind. Then went back to Jess n Charlies and watched the Brit Awards and ordered pizza. They were a massive pile of shite. The only saving grace was that Davina McCall was shit faced, I was in hysterics.
Blaggard [1:39 PM]
Yes Tuesday night was a little on the werid side. Me and Jess ended up fucking. Yea Im surprised by this as you are. A load of went to watch 8 mile earlier in the evening. Came back and Jess called aload of us to go round and watch a film. Time was getting on so I was the only one who bothered going round. We watched some TV...we kissed a bit. I thought that was a little odd. One thing lead to another.....
It has then been decided, by both of us, that we are keeping it as friends. Just friends who fuck now and then. Crazy huh ?
Yesterday the Crone came down. Had lunch in the Cambrian. They thankfully didnt stay very long got some food out of it though. I was running very low on the stuff, two packs of noodles and half a bag of chips to be precise. I now have something like:
-Chilli con carne
-Chicken tikka masala with pilau rice.
- 8 chicken pies.
- 4 chicken keivs.
- 2 large pizzas.
-2 mini pizzas.
-bag of oranges.
- shit load of soup and noodles.
-a collection of other tinned shite.
-breadcrumb coated turkey and cod.
Thankfully none of that rancid tinned turkey bollocks. PJM quiz starts again tonight so I will be in attendance and no doubt consume a few jars of ale. Aber Uncovered on Saturday night. Im one of the only guys in the group going. People are getting sedated and staying in all the time. Fuck em all, in the words of spencer: "Bring out the slaags".
Blaggard [11:18 AM]
But instead I got laid tonight. Excellent.
Blaggard [12:48 AM]
Well CompSoc turned into a wall to wall vomit fest. It was good. Went round with Burt and Rai. Then Fish forced me to the Pier. He wanted to meet Ali there I think, she had joined us for the first part of the evening. We tried to convince Burt to come along but he wouldnt have any of it. Rai decided to make it CompSoc official that we go to the Pier next week, all of us. That should be good. The Pier was good, bumped into Krivosic who was compeltly shit faced and kept drumming on my head. He was in a bad mood, so I bought him a drink. He wondered of into the crowds. Talked to Dean up against the bar for a while, he was talking compelte drunken shite. He told me an interesting thing about the some fit girl half the people in the Uni are after. Three letters for you. S. T. D.
I really wanted to get laid last night.
Blaggard [3:55 PM]
Its been a pretty good weekend.
Zippy and George was a bit crazy last night. We ended up going into town first because Rhi's sister came down for her birthday. She went off to get fucked in the Pier. We went to Varisty and Cambrian. I was blasting shots like no tomorrow in Varsity. Drank a few R2D2's in the Cambrian. I was in an insanely good mood but I have no real reason why I should of been. Everything just seemed in the right position. Got up to the Union for about 10:30 - 11ish. Rhi lost her purse and was freaking out quite a bit. Cancelled all her cards this morning. Anyway I was pretty drunk when we got into the Union. Gemma spoke to me and I kinda blanked her. Then Tracy came and had a good talking to me about it. I went and spoke to her, yet I feel I was kind of ignoring her again 2nite. It just feels really werid to actually talk to her at the moment. For some reason all my feelings for her have just really come up to the surface now, she probably has no idea. Anyway I stayed very happy and got hideously drunk, once again have no idea how I got home. One of the barmaids seemed to know what I would be drinking and just slammed down drinks when she saw me at the bar. She smiled and me quite a bit, probably because I was looking like a crazy drunk.
Woke up half on the floor fully clothed with my phone jarred into my ribcage. Then went to bed and got up around noon. Watched Eyes Wide Shut, had the potential to be a really good film, but it wasnt that great. Went to the PJM bar and had a couple of pints o coke and a bag of dry roasted peanuts. Think Im gonna spend the rest of the evening playing Jedi Knight and maybe No one lives forever 2. Probably go for a walk around campus at 11ish. Ive taken a bit of a liking to nocturnal walks by myself lately. Im turning all werid. CompSoc tomorrow night. I think Ill at least try and stay sober for that.
After the upgrading of the motherboard Im very tempted to blow a chunk of cash on doing a full upgrade, making it look swanky and boost performance. Tempted to get a new CD writer. Fancy a case with one of those windows and lights in it.
Yea anyway. Tomorrow Im going to have to do some work, I havent done a drop all weekend. Get my Java project set on Tuesday as well. Bollocks.
Blaggard [9:50 PM]
Right so today is Valentines day. Yeah im bitter becasue there wasnt any cards for me in the post this morning. Hehe. Nevermind, lets not break this 19 year tradition. Rhi got one though.....hehe.
Anyway Ive bought Jess a big box of chocolates, Im going over to see her later so Ill give them to her then. There is another box of chocolate but I havent decided who to give those to yet. I dont think itll be someone I really like, Gemma for example. Ive already been strongly warned against getting her anything, so fuck it. To be honest Im at that stage now that whenever I see her I just wanna breakdown and smash the shit out of everything in the room. But Ive started to do have quite a few jars of ale, but only when shes around. Im fine otherwise. I think Ill give that box to eithier Rhi or Rach, as theyve helped me kind of lot lately. I think its swinging more towards Rhi because she has had alot to put up with lately but still would be try and talk to me about stuff.
Or I may just scoff the lot myself.
Anyway today there is quite a few things to be doing. Ive done the HTML worksheet, that was a peice of piss. Ive almost finished the Java worksheet, Ill probably pop in and see a demonstrater on the way to get a ticket for tomorrow night. Im gonna get trashed down town tonight with a few people. It seems to be a singles only thing at the moment, not by choice. So well probably all get drunk and cry about no one loving us. You think I kid you? Then tomorrow night Ill do the violence.
Ah yes Nosh Da made me fucking ill last night. I shared a carton of chips with Fish, we were both very ill. I was rolling around on the floor for twenty minutes in fucking agony last night, Im looking into a lawyer that place needs to be shut down.
Blaggard [11:17 AM]
Well here we are earlyish on a Thursday morning, listening to depressing music sipping on a pint of water doing nothing in particular. Jess, Rach and Gemma went to Reload last night, the rest of us didnt bother. I went to the PJM bar and watched the football. It was pretty boring as the place was rammed and I ended up having to sit virtually under the pool table so I couldent see the screen anyways. Drank a shit load of coke so I was buzzing around till about 2am after that.
I think today its finally time to make the student choice and switch to rolling tobacco. Im going to go out and buy some soon, get a packet of filters as well or I will become overly addicted to them. I may even try to learn to roll em myself without the aid of the machine. But I think Ill just roll aload and carry them round in a tin, Ive got some small cigar tins lying around on my desk. So what is planned for tonight? Nothing. Probably go over to PJM for a few swift cokes again. Im letting my body rest from the booze till the weekend. It needs to be done. The booze was starting to get a hold of me again. Friday and Saturday are going to be pretty heavy nights. Friday Fish and Rhi just want to go out and get absolutly shit faced and then Andy said he wanted to do the same on Saturday night at the Rainbow thing. Hehe that Rainbow thing should be hilarious on Saturday. I got a film to get developed. Im taking so many photos lately its just crazy. Least Ive got some lasting records.
I tell you at the moment though it seems like im the only half happy person round here. Yet this is exactly how I predicted it would happen right at the start of the year. I knew those days would be the most care free, once we really got to know each other things would get complicated. Relationships would develop and fall apart. I am constantly in the process of making new friends which was never like me before Uni. Most people are now just sticking in the little groups they created. Im constantly on the move. Shit, Im even managing to get my work done. My old Maths teacher Apperly is too thank for that. He always used to say that if I got to Uni I would have to strike the right balance between work and play. Its hard to hit it sometimes, the next week the work load will peak a little, but nothing serious. Long as I get this Java worksheet done and dead pretty soon everything will be ok. Will have a presentation to write next week about something for tutorials, have an electronic document worksheet to do soon as well.
Blaggard [10:56 AM]
It would appear I took all my Java source files out on the town last night. The disk is covered in a strange sticky residue but thankfully it still works a treat.
Fucking well lucky that.
I bumped into Jess in the Pier last night(the barmaid from those young and crazy days in the RockCafe) it took her ages before she even recognised me. Goes to show how much Ive changed since I got to University.
Blaggard [1:05 PM]
My game is definatly getting back into focus. Im feeling more in control. Even kinda happy at the moment. Monday and last night definatly boosted my mood. Monday it was good just to sit around with people who I didnt know in the slightest and just jabber crap. I didnt even get drunk with them would you beileve.
Last night was good as well. Went out with everyone and for once we didnt end of in tears in the kitchen. I was bouncing around like a happy little idiot. We went to Bar Essential because Varsity was full. The manager gave Fish a free drink because he got Charlie to sing in the kareoke. We then moved onto to the Pier. We had to queue for ages, I spent the time talking to an American exchange student who is living with Jess at the moment. Erin. She was pretty cool. Although I was probably asking all the dumb questions that every other person had been asking her since she got here. I liked her, she was a genuiely nice person, I bought her a drink when we finally got into Pier. I didnt overly get drunk, mainly because no one else was up for it. Got, yet another, kebab on the way home. Jess really wanted to get a taxi so I said I would join her. Erin came along as well, I paid for the cab. I got them back here for a drink. Tea and water, they refused the vodka. I drank nothing. For some reason Jess started talking about what it was like to sleep with me and all the times we had slept togeather. That werided Erin out a bit. I didnt really care and joined in with the banter. Yea Im not actually talking about the sex part here, just the literally sleeping.
I really do wonder why I split up with her. She really is a fantastic girl. Makes me laugh and smile.
Anyway as I have the entire day off today Im going to get some work done I think. Todays list:
1. Map my M:\ drive.
2. Set up the Java compiler. (This has been a real swine as Ive had to go to a computer room everytime I want to compile anything)
3. No booze.
Blaggard [11:48 AM]
Hell fuck. Lets not even begin to talk about last night. The start of it was well cool. I got very pissed very quickly. Ive discovered in the past week that drinking bottle beers with pints of beer tends to make me feel a helluva lot drunker than otherwise which is pretty hilarious. Anyway Jess said to me: "you left me because you really really like Gemma dont you?"
The rest of the night is one long blur. I mean a really big blur, I barely remember any of it. Remeber the odd dance, talking to Payne. Telling Andy he was in love and should get married. Dirty dancing with girls I cant even rememeber the face of.
Then the fireworks took off. Got back here, I was drunk kind of down but intact. Rhi asked me a question, I broke down in tears in the kitchen and ran upstairs. Rhi went crazy cause she was down as well. Jess and Charlie turned up in tears. We all had a big long cry. Things were ok in the end and we were all half smiling.
Ive gotta leave Gemma behind now. She doesent want me and never will. Im going out on the CompSoc thing tomorrow night. Even if Fish decides he doesent want to come. Infact thatd be good as well, get a little break. Get drunk with a load of people I barely know and just slide......
Weird Gemma isnt interested in me as more than just friends. Thatll do nicely I suppose. I kinda blanked her 2nite as I thought...ah who cares I gotta apoligise to her tomorrow. Seems like the thing to do. Things I gotta do tomorrow:
1.Get cracking on the Java.
2. Fix the damned chair I oblitered and clean it.
3.Talk to Werid Gemma.
4. Smile because you look like a grumpy fucking shit.
5. Make everyone happy so we all live happily in a drunken bliss.
6. Fix this fucking computer, old graphic card should be here in the morning. Im getting a feeling its actually the motherboard that is having a fit.
7. Go to CompSoc and make some more friends.
So anyway. Ladies and Gents Im gonna get my game back on.
Love and peace.
Blaggard [1:11 AM]
The worst thing about Hobgoblin ale is its just too damn expensive. I tell you I would drink nothing but it if it wasnt the price of the stuff.
Im goin to a school disco. Im gonna look like an asshat.
Blaggard [8:17 PM]
Last night was little more than a lame fuckaround. We did the same thing we did every other night of the week, sat around in the PJM bar. All of Fish's house are going to Conwy today with Jason, he wants everyone to see his house. So I drank no more than a couple of pints wishing just one person would suddenly say they wanted to go into town. Anything, shit I would have happily gone to K2 last night, I just wanted to get moving. I still havent sampled my herbal E's, Im contemplating it today. But as I have absolutly no idea what to expect from these things it may throw me off the wall and leave me in no state for 2nite. Ive bought a ticket so Im not going to miss it, also made arangement to meet Driscoll who appears to be in town staying with Krivosic for the weekend.
Rhi was crying yesterday. I wish I could react to situations like that better.
Blaggard [12:18 PM]
I feel more in control today. Calm balanced. The world just whirling around about me. Like Im just a little ball of calm in the storm.
Yes Im in a very good mood. Im going to a school disco on Saturday. Its going to be cool. Dont know if we are going into town tomorrow, I hope so, I got the cravings for a massive kebab.
Blaggard [1:26 AM]
Last night was cool. Got moderatly drunk and was chatted up by some girl called Gemma, she gave me her phone number. Its pretty werid to get chatted up, its never really happened before I got to Uni. Well it never happened.
Everyone ditched me. Not on purpose I know, cause I got a load of texts asking where I was. But at the time I was half pissed and lonely so got a bit werid. That werid Gemma girl was txting me till 3am.
My herbal E's came through today, they smell werid and are massive things. They look like horse tablets.
Blaggard [12:34 PM]
Me and Jess split up. I think in the end it was kind of mutal. There hadnt been much physical contact in a week or so. I had to end it in the end.
Why? Because Im a silly fucking idiot thats why. Always off chasing damned pipe dreams rather than what is infront of me.
I hate myself for doing this but I wouldent change it.
I threw it all away.
Me = Asshat
Blaggard [12:33 AM]
Well last night was really really fucking cool. I got crazy drunk and danced like a jackass. I jumped on Mark Lallay and hugged him. Ran around like a little kid.
Had an argument with Jess.
We all went out for a carvery today. Me and Rach walked down togeather, so we could talk. That was so cool being able to talk to her about things. She asked me what it feels like to be in love. I told her when that girl walks into the room my entire body reacts to it. My heartbeat gets faster and my mind cascades with joy just looking at her.
It seemed cruel to tell her that it also can make you feel like your slowly dying.
I told Gemma to go and be with Adeian last night. If he makes her happy to go for it. It hurt like hell.
Nothing is static everything is falling apart. Without pain and sacrifice we are nothing.
Blaggard [9:58 PM]
Well it looks like me and Jess are togeather, at least for now. But I really dont wanna write about that now.
Last night I went out with Rach, Gem and Jason. It was really really good fun. Its been ages since Ive been on the town with Rach and Gem. In a way it was like getting to know each other all over again. Me and Gem talked for hours and hours about everything just like we always do. Rach got shit-faced. She told me she was going to be sick. I never thought Id hear those words come out of her mouth. The thing was at 10:30 she suddenly decided she wanted to go the Acadamy and Cambrian. We had to run and down our drinks so we could get into the Cambrian by last orders. It was really funny running up and down the high street. She had a cocktail in both so really dont know how much booze she was actually consuming. We had to get on the water in The Glen to stop the Big Spit from coming on. Jason was completly fucked. But that goes without saying.
Gem is the best friend anyone could ever wish for.
Blaggard [10:51 AM]