I had a load of stuff to post, but I left the disk back in the room. It took nearly 30 mins and a few smokes to get here. Im not going back.
Remember what the dormouse said, "Feed your head".
Blaggard [9:49 PM]
I know no account of last night yet. Was mightly interesting mind.
No internet till phone lines etc are sorted out down that end. Posts will come, but not as often. Probably get several chunks at once and the like.
Well then this is me signing off.
Im going home.
Blaggard [11:13 PM]
Trust me. You dont want to know why.
Blaggard [2:15 PM]
Tomorrow is my last night on the tiles in Birmingham till Xmas. It looks like it should be an interesting one. The evening shall begin at 6pm in the Rose and Crown, ending up on Broad Street at some point during the night. Its time to go out with a bang ladies and gents.
Funboy rang me a few hours ago. Not heard from him all summer. He wanted to know if anything was going on. I spread the word. Markus is coming as well, although with his rate of alcohol consumption Ill be interested to see If he makes till the end. Ive learnt lessons well and intend to take a can or two of Red Bull with me as a mid crawl wake up, Im not going to pay for it once we hit Broad Street. But anyway Ive got a good feeling about tomorrow. All the peices seem to be lining up for a good night on the town. Going over to West Brom in the day to have lunch with my Gran before I go back. She always takes us to the nicest food places. Then Ill kick around hers for a bit, watch a film. Come back here get my glad rags on and stroll over to the Crown, see bye to the old men Pete and Phil, of which I havent seen enough of this summer. Then just get plain fucked up drunk. Oh yes. The peices are in places. Now its time for the final move.
Clare sent me a postcard as well. I miss that girl. She always knows the right thing to say to me and I dont think has ever sent me wrong. It will be good to see her again. Im dragging her into some boozer or another Monday night when Ill be back Home in Aber town. Ive ordered some better ear plugs today as well in the hope of drowning out Rhi and Fishs fucking.
Blaggard [9:03 PM]
Me: "Crone look,. Im 20, I dont care what happens to me tomorrow nevermind 20 years"
Old man:"Good lad"
Blaggard [5:42 PM]
Well yesterday was, overall, worth it. Kicked off about 12ish when Clowe came round. We drove round to Ear's to wait for him. Took a good 15 minutes of waiting around before Snead arrived. Ears went off to get some petrol and then pick up Mudie and Helen. We went straight to Stourport. Bill sat in the back can of Smirnoff Ice in one hand the map in the other. He was trying to direct from memory however, he got it right everytime as well. The one time he thought he had got it wrong, turns out he had sent us down the right road anyways.
Shear lunacy eh?
We got there and parked on Spoons car park to avoid paying. I needed a cash point so we ambled around town. We had to be the youngest people in that town. Clowe came up with the idea that everyone thought we were trouble makers. I suppose that would be something to easy for people looking at us to think. There was Bill swaying down the street with a can of Smirnoff Ice in his hand, Clowe unshaven with wild partially blonde hair and me with a ciggie in one hand wearing studded leather. After he suggested it we started to act up to it.
A dog in a nearby car scared the shit out of me when it luanched its mad slobbering self at the window.
We went into Spoons to wait for the others. Bill and Clowe ate. I had a pint of Banks. Just as Clowe and Bill were finishing the others walked in, minus Mudie who had only just got up when they got there. Ears ordered a big ole steak. I ate nothing.
At 2pm they had a two minutes silence for Sep 11th. A bunch of pissed up 40 year olds came staggering through the door "Why is everyone so quiet, whats the matter?" Straight to the bar, barmaid pointed to the sign. They ingnored it and tried to get drinks. She wouldent serve them. Good for her. They really pissed everyone in that pub off.
We left and went into the amusements for a bit. Bill and Clowe went on the dance machine. I gambled my spare change away. After we went over into the park. Went on the swings and then on some climbing rope thing like the little kiddies that we are. Madness.
Got in the cars and went to The Dog in Harvington. I think the barmaid was drunk. I had a Guinness, she poured it all over the place. Had a Banks, tasted like vinegar so I left it and got a Carling instead. Then comes probably the worst mistake of the day. Clowe and Ears had to go to work, Bill decided to go home. I decided to go to Spoons with Snead and Helen. I fucking think did I. There is nothing worse than being the odd wheel with a couple, its alright if there is alot of people there but when its just you and them. Jesus. Reminds me of why Im glad Im single.
Pretty much necked my Bank's and left. Came back here and cooked a balti. All Ive had in the last two days is two curries, my stomach isnt very happy with me. So today back on the solid foods!
Blaggard [12:27 PM]
There are a few things I dont particulary enjoy much. Hangovers and Spiceovers.
Whenever you have a really rich and spicy balti. really tasty. Nicely cooked bits o meat. Nice aromas. Maybe a of fried rice, or if your feeling upper crust, pilau rice. (For some reason Ive always associated pilau rice with the rich, no idea why) When you get all that you know you are going to pay for it the next day. The dreaded curry over is in full effect. Bowels feel bloated to the rim. You stink of the curry house. Gas seems to be escaping from you at a constant rate. You just feel pretty grotty.
That is what Im going through now. Was a nice balti mind, Ameena as always seems to be the case these days.
I think the waiters remember me, but thankfully I was sober or I would have been cracking wise. They had Cobra on tap as well, although I didnt realise. Cobra is the best lager for a curry, always complements it well and, in my opinion, enhances the flavour.
Who would of thought Id have any sense of class.
Blaggard [10:17 AM]
My life is becoming very boring. I have nothing to really do, most of my time is occupied writing pithy little java programs to kill the time. Wathing the odd film or playing the odd video game.
My mind is a turmoil of odd thoughts and bizarrie philosophical tracts, something that used to get me worked up and interested in the world. Now they just make me feel lethargic.
Hopefully the move back to uni will get me out of this. Get back on the ball, have work to do. I always got an odd sense of acomplishment from doing stuff at uni. There was always something going on though and was rarely bored. Infact some of the time I didnt think I had enough time by myself to do other things other than socialise. Maybe Im just having a bad day. Im just so sick of waiting around for something to happen. The summer has been too long, for a month or so this sort of living is fun. Kicking back doing fuck all. It gets too much though.
Gah my mind feels like a gelatanous goop. Nothing makes sense anymore. I also have an incredible case of writers block which is pissing me off a bit because I think Im onto a really good idea. Gah fuck it.
Im off out for a balti later with a few people, pretty starving now.
Blaggard [7:32 PM]
Well last night I ended up going to Spoons with a few people. Bill, Clowe, Markus, Payne and even Fish turned up for two minutes. Drank Guinness because it was dirt cheap. I think its the first night since Ive been back this Summer where we have just sat in spoons from start to finish. It was relaxing.
It was good. Just nice to kick back in Spoons like we used to as young whipper snappers.
After Clowe and Mark got a pizza. Me and Clowe grabbed the 609 home, something else I aint done in ages. Made me feel like I was still at college. Infact it was kinda wintery weather yesterday, was cold, dull and bleak. Some of the only few positive memories I have of this place are those friday nights down spoons during the winter. Do college, go home, throw some fish and chips down my throat and trundle down spoons for the night. It was good.
Everyones going to Stourport for the day on Thursday but I dont know if I shall go. Not got much cash flowing through me this week. Save it for a weekend blow out to signify the end. the Last Night on Earth crawl. Cant wait to get away from the Crone. Chances are that I wont be moving back here next summer, due to summer placement, so itll be a good two years before I have to worry about living with the Crone on a permanent basis. Heaven on Earth.
Today I sprayed my keyboard black, started painting the keys as well but they are already getting the paint chipped off them so I probably wont bother going any further with it.
Blaggard [3:25 PM]
I had this really werid fucked up dream last night. George Bush was in it for some werid reason. He was a cannibal and he was trying to double cross me, over what I cant remember. I ended up smashing a small step ladder round the side of his face, but then he ran off laughing.
The rest of the dream is vague. I dont sleep right anymore.
Blaggard [11:34 AM]
The North is a werid place. I had a good time up there in Sheffield, but I can safely say this, I wouldent like to live there.
I was on the road by 10:30. The journey, as all journeys anywhere with The Crone was long winded and tiresome. By the time we got there I was pissed with her, but I cant remember why. Got out of the car and just walked off. We got lost the burbs as well. My first impression of Sheffield was that it was just like West Bromwich. Dark and alltogeather gritty. A tettering relic leftover from the industrial revolution. It is a very manufacturing based place.
It must have been just after 2 by the time I was there. Daves house is pretty nice, not a bad place to live. Rooms are massive, makes my room next year look like a coffin. We didnt hang around long before we hit the drink. It was one of those afternoons where you intend to just have a few quiet drinks, then before you know it your rolling around piss drunk. We sat in his garden and had a couple of cans. One of his housemates returned from work, Michelle. Nice girl, thick accent.
We ambled down the road to The Stag. Had a nice pint o Heineken. Dave reckons the new version of it tastes like peardrops. Im not so sure.
On we went to a place called The Porterbrook, I think. We were due to meet Michelle and James(another of his housemates). Its a Hogshead chain pub. We drank a lot of Guinness in there, infact I did seem to drink a large amount of stout this weekend. By the time we left there I was drunk and Dave wasnt in a much better conditon. Bob met us, another of Daves uni pals. He was a funny guy.
We got in a taxi and went to a Scream pub, the Cavendish, or something simaler to that. From here we went to a place that was in an old building. The name of it fails me. We did some shooters and got some for Dave, his birthday afterall.
Down the hatch. Spoons. I remember saying something stupid to the barman in here for the sake of it. Everything I order was for my girlfriend. Or her friends. Which of course dont exist. Some middle aged guy at the bar tried to tell me something but I couldent understand what the fuck he was on about.
Next we tried to get into Cashbah. I walked in first and was roaming around aimlessly. Dave didnt get in so I had to leave. The doorman told us he was too drunk. We should go down the road have a cup of tea and come back in 30 mins. So thats exactly what we did. Went down the local McDonalds, bought him a cup of tea. Then went back after he had it. Magic. He let us straight in.
I liked this place. This is my sort of club, dirty heavy rock music. Dank and dark atmosphere. Werid people. I tried my luck with some 50 year old woman, I was shot down in flames. Dave played the air drums. Everything after this place is a blur. We got a kebab and a taxi home, how I dont know as I didnt have any money left. So I owe one of Daves friends some money, Ill send it in the post.
James said to me as we got back to the house "Fancy a smoke?"
So there I was 2am. Drunk as a fiend sitting with someguy who Id meet just 6 or so hours previously smokin "exotic tobbaccos". I left his room to go to bed, I was drunk and crazed. It was too dark to make anything out on the landing so I had to feel my way along the wall to the toilet and then upstairs to the bed.
We spent the whole day watching cricket. James was feeling worse for wear. Cooked some bacon and had a pizza, but otherwise sat there till about 5pm, watching cricket. This evening we started at The Devonshire Cat. Now this is what I call a pub. Was really nice inside. 30 real ales on draught. A massive selection of bottled beers and ales from around the world. It was also a goth hangout. Although I spend alot of my time pissing my health and life away in pubs there are few pubs that I really like. The Ship and Castle is one, The Pit and Pendulum is another. The Cat has been added to the list. Fantastic beer and good people. I could of stayed there till I was carried out blind drunk. Unfortunatly we had to leave early to go and pick Payne up from the train station. We took a brief walk around the sites of sheffield. Just as we got to the train station Payne was walking out of the door. Talk about timing.
Hopped on a bus and went back to Daves. Had a quick wash. Hopped back on the bus and went into town. The plan was a few bars then hit the Leadmill. It was a plan I liked. We got off the bus at the wrong place, the door clouted me in the arm. We had a nice walk to the first bar. Vodka Revolution. I never been to one of these places before. It was nice, I liked the decor and I liked the vodka. We did two shots of vodka. I had strawberry and cola cube flavours. The strawberry was delcious. We went next door to O Neils. Drank Murpheys like a champion. One of Daves friends called Taxi came along. So named because he got run over by a taxi during Freshers week.
We moved onto Spoons. Dave still remembered nothing about being there the night before. I bought him a shot and did another one myself. Blue Aftershock. He bought a pint of rancid ale. He downed it.
From here we decided to head to the LeadMill. It took a while. Payne hadnt eaten so grabbed a burger, then it was a bit of a walk. It was nice in side. I was a bit too drunk when we got there. Decided to do more Aftershocks, which wasnt the shrewdest move of my life. Started drinking black current reef as well because they go down like water. Yes I was doomed. Dave was dancing around chatting girls up. I was a drunken mess leaning against the speaker listening to the music. It was good music, alternate and indie kinda stuff. I cant remember what time we left, I think it was about 1ish though.
We were on our way to Kebabish when someguy spat in Paynes face. Absolutly no reason for it all. I went to go after the guy but was stopped. I probably would have lost anyways. We walked back.
Im told I fell asleep on the couch, woke up, said I felt sick and then fell asleep again.
The next thing I remember is trying to get out of my room for a wizz in during the night. It was dark and I couldent figure out how to open the door. That and I was still drunk. I was looking at the wrong side of the door for the handle. In the end I succeeded.
In the end
Id like to say I learnt something from the experience. I definatly left with a better impression of the place than the one I got going in. The centre is a pretty nice place, nice bit o architechture. It is one helluva vibrant place to go out in, not quite the insanity atmosphere of Nottingham but definatly a good one. The highlight for me had to have been The Devonshire Cat, just a shame we couldnt have stayed there longer, I was more than prepared to drink myself round the ale taps. That Flint Knapper was one fine beer. Went down so smooth and didnt let down in the flavour department.
Blaggard [5:14 PM]
Once again another night with virtually no sleep. This aint good. To late to bitch and moan too much.
Word to the wiseguy.
Blaggard [9:39 AM]
I havent slept well in the last two days. Infact last night I dont think I really got more than 3 hours sleep.
Yet Im still not tired. Mild insomnia I guess. I suppose I should be in bed now, gotta be up at 9 tomorrow. For most of this holiday Ive been up till at least 2:30 and getting up at 10/11am. I used to know a girl called Natalie who was totally nocturnal. Shed get up about 9 in the evening and go to bed mid morning time. I miss having her around.
I wont be going to bed till at least 1:30. Mind is buzzing. Why, why the fuck is some musical from Buffy on my hard-drive. I tell you the amount of shit I leeched from the Uni network in my last week is ridiculous. I grabbed everything I could just for the sake of it.
Blaggard [12:24 AM]
Im fucking off North tomorrow morning. Im looking forward to seeing what kind of a seedy town Sheffield is. Just sent word to Dave telling him Id be there around 1ish. His reply "No prob. Well go and get some beer from Tesco then"
Sweet. Although Im taking beer with me. A few cans of Miller that Ive got knocking around the house.
Enjoy your weekends ladies and gentlemen. I have once again got the partying angle covered, so if you a fancy being a boring bastard dont feel too bad. Ill have a gallon in yer honour.....champ.
Blaggard [8:44 PM]
Im on a mad writing binge today. Even started work on a new peice of biofiction as I like to call it.
"You cant have people who have never had sex or done drugs telling you its wrong. Only through experience can you determine your own morality" - Extract from Marilyn Mansons tour diary.
The boys onto something there. I remember a screaming Christain at high school named Hannah. She would rant on about sex before marriage if you gave her the chance, judging and damning everyone left right and center. Always thinking she was in the right, the rest of us were off to hell. Sometimes it really pissed me off that she could be so judgemental of people, othertimes I found it hilarious thus provoked her. Her and the guy Im going to see the weekend were always bitter rivals.
Blaggard [12:12 AM]
I was just reading through the post I put up about V2003. There is a little bit of stuff which seems to have gotten cut off in the conclusion section about watching RHCP with the V Angel. What I intended to write there was how eurphoric I felt there. Singing along, lost in a crowd of complete strangers, yet somehow it felt like they were friends. Or something like that. I really do have difficultly describing how much fun I had that weekend.
"Run rabbit run"
Im just listening to Pink Flloyd's Dark Side of the Moon that line just jumped and smacked me in the brain.
On Friday Im jeting off out of this God forsaken stenchpit to Sheffield, which Im sure others would argue is also a Godforsaken stenchpit. I cant comment as Ive yet to go there. Its Daves birthday, I havent seen Dave since Easter. Kinda werid really as we used to be thick as theives during High School. We both had the same sort of experience during high school so it was inevitable that we became friends really. Well its his 20th this weekend so Im making that trip into the North to spread a little of cheer and probably my stomach contents around Sheff.
Reading Mansons biography has really put me in the mood for some heavy craziness.
You know Ive done so little this Summer but it has just shot by. At least Ive kept a few fingers in the Uni work pie, learnt myself a few tricks along the way. Im working on a mini-side project to this blog but its not finished yet, the APA will be finally getting the home it deserves.
Blaggard [11:41 PM]
Man what the fuck is going on with people lately? University is kicking off in two weeks and Ive been chattering to people. Fish aint even going to be there for Freshers weekend, Rachel is turning up on the Sunday. She says the first couple of nights should be fun. First couple of nights? Everyone seems to want to settle down. Am I the only one here who hasnt pushed things far enough yet? Calm down? Calm fucking down? I want to get drunk and do drugs. I want to roll around the streets not caring about anything. I want to wake up on the beach. I want to snort coke in club toilets.
The only person who seems to want to take things further is Gemma P.
K, this was a bit of a rant. Everyone just seems 19/20 going on 80 lately.
Blaggard [7:46 PM]
I am a big fan of Marilyn Mansons music. I never really rated him at all until late last year. It was early one morning, I was the only awake in 119 PJM. I was having a complete physical and emotional breakdown. It was the height of the time I thought I was in love with Gemma S, the morning after I thought she had fucked Aidan.
I was seething ball of rage and madness. Kicking shit around my room, cursing at nothing. After about an hour or so of this madness I collapsed naked in the shower and just lay there for what must have been close for two hours. Eventually my mind just snapped back into reality. Angry and pissed off I went and downloaded a ton of Manson songs. The first two I got Disposable Teens and the slipknot remix of the Fight Song. Thats how I got into Marilyn Manson. Then from there I bought HolyWood over the Xmas break, then AntiChrist Svperstar. Of course now I appreciate this music alot more than I did then, I was just angry and wanted some that sounded angrier than Slayer. It filled the void nicely.
The other day I bought his biography. He is exactly the sort of depraved monster I thought he would of been, smoking human bones and stuff. Im glad he didnt disapoint. Im still not finished reading it but its pretty inspirational stuff. Makes me tales of degeneracy and degredation seem a lot less interesting. The bar has been raised, I dont think Id ever smoke human bones though. That just seems a little werid and freaky. How he videotaped confessions out of people is pretty interesting. Ive been thinking of making a short film things with the camera Ive got.
Blaggard [3:34 PM]
Have you ever listened to The Streets? I dont rate that kind of music, doesnt even really come up on any kind of ranking scale with me. But after forcing myself to listen to a few MP3's of theres, just to try and see what all the fuss is about I do have to say Skinner paints Birmingham life for what it is. Dirty, gritty and throughly nasty. No sugar coated lyrics. Yeah the music is shite but the message shoot straight and true.
Birmingham has so many people, but the place has no soul. Im completly different person when Im here than when Im in Aberystwyth. Here Im cold and uncaring, sometimes almost violent. In Aberystwyth Im more laid back, there is no need to be on guard there. No one is chasing me through the streets. The whole vibe is different. I hate the person I am when Im here. Sure Im dark and morbid anyways but this shit hole of a city brings out a side of me I dont like much.
Here when I get drunk I become cocky and aggressive with people. In Aberystwyth I just talk nonsense and maybe pull a few faces at Aidian, but thats about as strong as it gets. Vicky, the girl who I just started talking in the street one night after the Union. I would never do that shit round here. Im more likely to give random girls in the street a mouthfull of obsenities. Cities breed cold hearted fuckups like me.
Blaggard [8:46 PM]
Last night was good fun, oh yes. Bit of the old madness. We hit the Delph and were in the Corn Exchange for about 7, Clowe and Ref played some pool. Then we moved to the Cottage Springs, it was dead. Eastenders was on the TV, I found it hilarious. We then moveed onto The Vine. Mudie and Sarah joined us in there. It was Sarahs 18th birthday. She is from the upper echelons of society. Likes people to know it as well. Coming to a place like the Delph to someone like her is a whimsical little trip, to see all the quaint poor people. Me and Bill tried to be friendly but it was hard to mask our contempt. At least for me it was. We went to the Black Horse. Its now over 21's but they let us in anyways, not like there were many people in there. Helen joined us. They had Miller on draft. One of the few American beers I actually like drinking. Bud is overpriced piss water. Down the hatch. 10th Lock. £5.87 for a double and Red Bull, Clowe wasnt a happy camper. Pack of ciggies out the vending machine. Sarah gave me an Earful about it. I laughed and for some reason which I cant quite remember now told her how I wear black nail varnish on the odd occasion. Ba boom. Bill sorted us a taxi.
The plan was the Waterfront, we had it told to us on good authoiryt that the waterfront was shut. So we decided get up to the Sports Cafe, we will do the street. Its Bills birthday, no ones getting out of this thing sober. Only cost us £15, which for the distance we went was pretty good. Through the door, hit the bar. Pint of Fosters. The others who had caught a ride with Mudie turned up later on. Sarah was drunk.
I knew she was piss drunk. She gave me £5 and in her poshest tone "Oh fuck it. You can keep the change" I laughed but she had already walked off. I spoke to one of Sneads housemates who just happened to be in the Sports Cafe at that bar at that particular time. It was a little werid. I told him about the disco ball in the toilet, which has apparently since been removed by the housing staff.
I was sitting in the corner of the pool hall in a green leather armchair. Cigarette in one hand and a bananna cocktail in the other. It felt pretty good. That was one fine drink as well I have to tell you, a whole bannana in every glass. I get the feeling, although I couldent taste it, there was a lot of alcohol in it.
Me and Clowe left the Sports Cafe to go and get some cash. This unexpected turn of events to hit Broad Street had left us a bit short on the cash front. Said we would meet them in Lloyds bar. Went to the cash point which was down the side of a canal, never been into that section of Broad Street before. Got into Lloyds. Went to the toilet. Pushed a cubicle door.
"There all locked" the most ominous sounding voice. It was just someguy standing with a drink in his hand. "Just use a urinal then shall I?"
"Yes. That will be fine"
Downstairs. Drink at the bar, got a couch to sit on. The others turned up. Had a vodka and orange. Clowe sent some drinks flying in his drunkeness. More booze from the bar. Snead and Helen, Sarah and Mudie, they just necked each other the whole time we were in there. More drinks. The bouncer came over and gave me grief for smoking in the no smoking area. I didnt argue, just put it out. Someone gave me a Malibu and coke, I think it was Sarahs, they were leaving. Clowe slapped a bit of WKD blue in there. Raise the glass, down the hatch. We moved closer to the bar, I was pretty fucked up drunk. More drinks from ther bar! We left. Greasy kebab with a bit of sauce on it from that horrible chip shop.
Scene Missing. We got a taxi. I remember getting in and paying the driver. Then nothing till we were walking out of Halesowen town centre. I think I fell asleep. Me and Bill were sitting on a bench outside the Hare and Hounds. We were waiting for Clowe to catch up. We left. Two guys came running at us. We didnt need to think, we just bolted. Didnt want to know. We hid in a side road from the one stop.
"What the fuck was that about?"
Bill had no idea. Where the fuck was Clowe. We just stood in the street, Clowe comes along. Apparently they stopped him and asked him if hed seen two guys. We still arent really sure what that guy wanted with us. Next thing. My eyes open its 11am. Head is still sore now, it was a cracking good night.
Spoke to Bill, he said after he left me a copper stopped him. Asked him if he lived round here. Apparently a couple of guys tried to boost a BMW, Bill was blind drunk. He said his first question to the cop was "Was it my car?"
"It was a BMW" Bill said he laughed "Definatly not my car then m8"
They wished him a good night. Apparently I fell asleep in my chair again. Wish Crone would just leave me to it whenever I do that.
Blaggard [4:54 PM]
LAst night was good out of control fucking fun. Im still drunk.
Two guys tried to kill me and Bill, but we could run quicker than them.
Blaggard [11:42 AM]
Bill is 20 years old today.
I feel like an old man. Really I do. Dont seem that long ago we were fresh faced 15 year old mallrat fools. Back when I was monstrously obese 18 stone fat fucker. Hell so much has changed since high school. Now we are actually growing up. Well physically at least.
For my part I guess Ive become bitter and lets face it a little bit crazy over the years. Aint it werid how things change. Tonight we will be partying away as we always do. Another night on the tiles, another night washed away in a flood of booze and vomit. Another night of good clean, booze fueled fun. We are going to ladies night at the Waterfront. See if we can get Bill some action, it is his birthday afterall.
So then. Have a good Monday night whatever your up to. Ive got the party angle covered.
Word to the wiseguy.
Blaggard [2:49 PM]
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.