The Boozehound

[ Tuesday, December 30, 2003 ]

 
It had to bastard well happen with this post didnt it. I spent an hour this afternoon writing my personal review of 2003, sorting things out my mind, composing a post that rivals nothing Ive ever done before. Then I fucked up and lost the damn thing. So you get a couple of two line summaries:

Highs: RocSoc, V2003, Jess, gettin laid, Nottingham

Lows: Jess, attempted suicide,self harm.

Hey at least me losing my post saves my odd rambling about self harm. That bit went off on a wild tangent.

My aims for the coming year:



So then. Tomorrow at 10am Clowe is collecting me to head to Huddersfield, via Sheffield to get Mo. Then its a day of beligerant debauchery etc. That standard affair. Ill be taking my camera to get lots of shots. Should be a good day/night. Lets hope I can make it to the early hours.

No absinthe for me.

Have a good New Years, Im sure I will....By that I mean get drunk, vomit and pass out on Clowes floor. There much of a difference though?


Blaggard [11:33 PM]

[ Monday, December 29, 2003 ]

 
I had a dream last night that I was talking to a fish with a human face and that I was infact a geneticaly modified salmon.

That has to have been the best dream Ive had in ages.
Blaggard [9:18 AM]

[ Friday, December 26, 2003 ]

 
Its been a good xmas so far. Yesterday I had the most horrific hangover Ive had since my birthday. Didnt help matters with my dad trying to cram wine and Guinness down my trap all day. I dont mind so much though, I was trying to hide the hangover from my family. After a few "incidents" this summer I think they are finally coming around to the grim reality of my intense binge drinking. I only had a little wine eithier ways.

We took my gran back home yesterday and went for a pub lunch. I think in the past three days Ive had my calorie intake for the year. Urgh. Ive eaten a big meal every day for the last three. Urgh. Im not used to eating so much and its made me feel bloated and grim.
Xmas Eve was fun. Saw a few old friends, got mucho drunko. Smoked some cigars and drank a load of purple hazes, came round at 6am lying on my bed, still with my coat on. Went to bed, couldent sleep in the slightest. Finally drifted off when the kids next door started screaming and shouting. Hehe. Xmas was a lot more fun when you were a kid. I used to get really worked up about xmas, the entire month of december I was always just one massive ball of hyperactivity and excitement, yep I loved everything about the season. Always got myself a part in the primary school xmas play. Always helped with the tree. Hehe, even left out sherry n a mince pie. Which I found out in later years that my dad threw down his trap after I had gone to bed. Some years I even left a carrot and some water out for the Reindeer. The Crone would break the carrot in half and throw it down the garden and empty half the water. Was always the first thing I checked on, after looking if there were presents, on an xmas morning. Yeah as a child I hardly ever used to sleep as it was, often only for 5-6 hours a night. Xmas I was twice as bad, barely ever slept. One or two hours. Being a kid ruled.
So whats next. Well today so far Ive read the paper and done an hour or so of revision, not bad since I didnt get up till 11am. Had a bads night sleep. Woke up in one of my deleriums, just cant get one topic out of head, it circles around and around. In the end had to get up and walk around for 15 minutes to clear my head. Right this afternoon I think some reading is called for followed by more revision. Lots and lots of fun, eh?

Hope you all had a relaxed and violence free few days. Suppose I should start turning my attentions to New Years Eve......
Blaggard [11:24 AM]

[ Wednesday, December 24, 2003 ]

 
About three weeks into term this year during one of my all too frequent stresses about my inhuman alcohol consumption Fish made a prediction: "carry on like this you wont see xmas"

Well I showed you didnt I. Xmas Eve, still alive and I feel pretty damn good. I was considering doing my "year in review" post today but I think Ill leave it closer to New Years Eve before I go through that little bit of soul searching. Its a post that takes alot of thinking before I stick fingers to keys.
So Monday night I met up with the guys in Spoons. No one has changed since the summer thank god. In fact it was just like a regular night in spoons. Sat down started drinking some beer, talked a load of crap at each other. Laughed at Clowe. Fuckup's shaved all his hair off now, actually it does suit him. Oddly the bar staff still remember me, one or two of the old staff are still there. The guys who have been working there ever since I started drinking at that place many aeons ago. There were a few old faces in there as well, "weridy beardy" was in there with his two pals that I recognized.
A few people from high school were there, I didnt acknowledge them. Not that they would really recognise me now anyhows. Robatease even turned up at one point. I stole his drink when he wasnt looking then convinced him that he'd drunk it.

So today is xmas eve. I love xmas eve, even more so than the rest of xmas. The older Ive got the less Xmas really bothers me, accept today. Today is when all the old comrades get togeather in Spoons, get rip roaring drunk. Invade the Ameena balti house and make general jackasses of ourselves. Xmas day, thats just one long hangover. Yeah Im looking forward to it.

Get myself Rik Wallered, eat a balti, stagger home and wake the entire house up at stupid o clock in the morning. Of course then Ill be woke up by the kids next door screaming at 7am. But hey its xmas, one of the few times of the year when Im tolerant of pretty much everything that you could imagine.

So Merry Xmas one and all, have a good one, I know I will.

Heres a piccie of Spoons for those who care:


Blaggard [11:32 AM]

[ Monday, December 22, 2003 ]

 
Well so far today Ive spent pretty much every waking moment listening to Marilyn Manson and revising. Laugh riot round here I tell you.
Sam said she would pop round sometime today on the way to her music teachers but as yet she hasnt. Then again the amount of times she said she would do that and then hasnt bothered is uncountable. That girl is always busy, I dont know how she doesnt have a breakdown. Best to have lots of things in your life than nothing at all though. Well tonight I think Im off down Spoons with the guys. Since last Tuesday Ive only had one pint....go me!
Will be good to see all the guys again. Im not intending on getting that drunk before Xmas Eve spectacular though. Just need to get out, Im getting cabin fever I tells ya.

You know for once its actually nice to be home in Birmingham.......fuck, I must be getting old to actually like being in this place. This time next year Ill be 21 and living in some werid esoteric part of the UK no doubt. I need to get cracking on sorting out a work placement after Xmas is done and over. Argh. Best live next Semester to an extremity. Drunk all day everyday!

Hehe. Its what it is all about kids.

This post is a bit all over the place....cya.
Blaggard [3:35 PM]

[ Sunday, December 21, 2003 ]

 
Nice guys finish last.


I dont know why I got thinking about this sitting here tonight but every relationship Ive ever had the unfortunate displeasure of being involved in its always fallen apart in the most brutal gut wrenching way possible. The older I get the more brutal it seems to be, the other party always ends up going off happy but my sorry ass gets dragged through the dirt and shit all over again. Each time I come out with more scars and bruises then the time before.

Sorry to rehash the same shit Ive been on about for weeks, but look at Jessica. Before I heard about all this I agreed I was the one in the wrong, I was happy she found someone who treated her better than I did. But now look. She goes off and fucks random guys in bars while were togeather and ends up the happy one. Urgh.

Everyday I swear Im turning more and more into a misogynist. Probably just have bad experience with women, infact if it werent for Rachel and Clare to show me that all women arent evil I imagine Id be one pretty angry werid right wing guy.
Blaggard [1:04 AM]

[ Friday, December 19, 2003 ]

 
Ok back in Birmingham now. Im pretty tired and frazzled. Pretty nice not to have to cook my own food for once, you forget about how nice such things are when they are taken away from you. Also the house is warm. Warmth not something Ive felt in my house for the final few weeks of term.
Before I left Clare came around for a few hours after work last night. Was nice to see her just one more time before the xmas break. She appears to have got over Gill well, already lined herself up with a 26 year old nurse, that girl works fast. Woke up this morning packed, took the hoover. Which set on fire the other day to the estate agents for him to sort out. Thankfully the owner wasnt there, he hates us with a passion.

Yeah Ive stuck up some new photos for your viewing pleasure. Ive got some from Sheffield and Bills birthday somewhere but cant for the life of me find the bastards. Robatease and Wokka invited me up Broad Street tonight, but Im too knackered to move. I was half asleep by 3pm today, Im almost asleep at this board. Beer would have just made me fall alseep up broad street.

Tomorrow Im going over West Brom to see my gran. Hey, I even started doing revision today. How about that, got quite a nice little chunk done as well. Take it easy.
Blaggard [11:47 PM]

[ Thursday, December 18, 2003 ]

 
Yeah. Steves birthday. Got a text from Ed about 5:30, saying a 6:30 start. Yeah it was a bit of a mad rush and didnt get there till about 6:45. I got stragiht into the beers. Moved from there to the Cambrian. Steve and Ed started doing shots of Jagermiester with alcopop chasers. I stuck to PJM cocktails, Steve then had a PanGalacticGargleBlaster. Death in a glass those monsters are. From there we moved to Ship and Castle. The owner was playing up his dog again with the laser pen, once again he was also drunk. There are very few times when Ive seen the landlord of that place sober or working on getting pissed. Suppose when you live in a pub the temptation is always there. I drank a few pints of ales before moving onto vodka and cokes. They had stopped doing the promotions in there now that term was out. The landlord talked to us for a bit, found out Tara(the big rottweiler) is an ex army dog, hence its excellent training. Was his brothers dog. Steve in his drunkeness started going on about how his dog says hello to him sometimes. We stayed in there till last orders and then went down to the Bay. It was dead. We bought Steve a shot of the stupidly strong vodka as the absinthe had ran out. I was pretty hammered by this point.
Steve suddenly went through all of the stages commonly associated with drinking. He laughed, started swearing at everyone, burst into tears then five minutes later he was laughing again. I started talking to the barmaid, Penny. Turns out she is RocSoc's official lesbian. We saw some lesbian action the following night at RocSoc. It was excellent.

Anyway we left the bay just before kick out time, went and got a dirty kebab from Oscars. Came home. I fell asleep on the couch. Woke up with, quite surprisingly, no hangover.

So thats Monday night layed down. Today is my last day in Aber before the Xmas break. For once Im actually half looking forward to going home, if only for the bitch hot broadband connection. Ive missed not being able to play Counter-Strike this semester. Thus Ive cleaned all the empty ciggie packets out of my room and also got rid of some of the rubbish. Finally organised and sorted out my notes for revision, which I guess I really should start today. Not like Ive got anything else on at the moment, may wait till tomorrow night when itll be easier to get my hands on slides, will take hours to download them on this connection. Took two films from over the summer into get developed earlier, hence the lack of photos being uploaded recently. I need to start taking my camera to the pub again. Ill scan them in tonight, when I get them back at 5, upload them tomorrow night when Itll take less than four hours time.

Yeah so this will probably be my last post I write from Aber, next time you hear from me Ill be back in the harsh streets of Birmingham. Merry Xmas one and all.



Blaggard [3:19 PM]

 

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Moderate
Schizoid:High
Schizotypal:High
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Low
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --



Blaggard [2:06 AM]

 
So at 11am Wednesday me and Fish were pushing is Nova round trying to get some charge in the battery so it would start. No luck. Fish secured some jump leads from the guy in the petrol station. We got Eddie to come round with his car. Fish got the +ve and -ve mixed up. Guess what happened. We all got a face full of sparks and I wouldent be surprised if Fish got some electrical burns after that.

I spent the whole day with Clare. Went to Scolars and played pool. I got my wig cut, met her in Varsity where she gobbled some food. Came back here, played video games and watched TV for hours. She went home to sleep, she has got a double shift at the Pier tomorrow. Poor gal. Friday she has to see the people from PJM as she is trying to move back in there after xmas. Her current place has 64 people in it and is a hole. The portor told her to get there before 11 or they were likely to be drunk. Sweet. From what I remembered of that guy, he wasnt lying. It was werid being in PJM.

Tuesday night we went to RocSoc. Quite busy I was surprised. Me and Ed ended up getting pretty drunk again. The night ended with me drinking Snakebite n Black. Which is a bad sign to say the least. Steve stuck to the coke. He hadnt gone to bed till 10am after his birthday bash. He was a bit Rik Wallered after his birthday, which Ill speak of tomorrow, Im shattered.
Blaggard [1:45 AM]

 
Clare is the one voice of irefutable calm in my life. She is the one person who for whatever reason automatically gets a "get out of jail free" card with me. I could probably never stay mad at her. Probably due to the absolute horrible shit we helped each other get through last year. It was a team effort and we both came out in the end, much in part because of each other. Yeah to say we are more than friends is true, which is why most people think we are/were a couple. Ah but no, me and Clare are more like brother and sister. Some stupidly strong bond between the pair of us. Werid to explain as I have no siblings and my feelings towards my family are usually pretty cold.
I saw her today, the first time in ages. She has had horrible girlfriend trouble this semester, she sorted it out on her own. Thats the way I think she wanted to do it. It was her who first told me about Jess. Im glad she did. Until today I dont really think it kicked in. I actually really sat down and thought about it. Clare was pretty shocked I wasnt pissed off and raring for some ultra violence. Clare talked to me.

Jess walked over me. Then she guilt tripped me about me leaving her for Gemma, which never happened anyway. But I never cheated, I tried to do the right thing. I least I did that damn it. Jess hid what she did away, hoping I wouldent find out. Of course whatever I decide to do now wont really matter that much. She has her new life and his happy. But I can make one last bang and try to take from her what she took from me. Yes. This may be petty. It may be, and probably is, the stupid bastard thing to do. But hey, when are my choices ever right. Ill take my vengence, Ill spread a bit of misery.
Blaggard [1:13 AM]

[ Monday, December 15, 2003 ]

 
"Man That You Fear"

the ants are in the sugar
the muscles atrophied
we're on the other side, the screen is us and we're t.v.
spread me open,
sticking to my pointy ribs
are all your infants in abortion cribs
I was born into this
everything turns to shit
the boy that you loved is the man that you fear
pray until your number,
asleep from all your pain,
your apple has been rotting
tomorrow's turned up dead
i have it all and i have no choice but to
i'll make everyone pay and you will see
you can kill yourself now
because you're dead
in my mind
the boy that you loved is the monster you fear
peel off all those eyes and crawl into the dark,
you've poisoned all of your children to camouflage your scars
pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear
pray your life was just a dream
the cut that never heals
pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream
(I am so tangled in my sins that I cannot escape)
pinch the head off, collapse me like a weed
someone had to go this far
I was born into this
everything turns to shit
the boy that you loved is the man that you fear
peel off all those eyes and crawl into the dark,
you've poisoned all of your children to camouflage your scars
pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear
pray your life was just a dream
the cut that never heals
pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream
the world in my hands, there's no one left to hear you scream
there's no one left for you


One of the few songs in this world that could have been written directly about me.
Blaggard [2:56 PM]

 
I do enjoy these mini-detox's of mine. They do help my head out sometimes and this weekend was one of the definite times when I needed a straight head to sort things out. Unfortunatly my jackass gear has kicked in and all I think about is causing Jessica some kind of crippling emotional damage, just to fuck her over good. Yeah I know Im being a child and I should accept that she cheated on me. It was all in the past, its not like getting upset or angry about it now is really going to change anything. But I know how unpredicable I can be about these things. Ill think Ive sorted things out then Ill see her and go mental or just be so cold and icy shell know something is up anyway.

Urgh. Why couldent she have controlled herself for the few months we were togeather, or at least me not finding out about it. Ill end up having this out with her one night, I can see it now. If this acts as a catalyst to tear me down from my seemingly non-stop good mood Ill be pissed off. Sure you cant be happy forever but I would like it to be something different that brings me down...not this.
Blaggard [12:28 AM]

[ Saturday, December 13, 2003 ]

 
Ah The Hot Puppoes. My verdict is that with some proper production behind them these guys could probably make it. Probably not to the dizzying heights of superstardom but they could probably elevate from the mid level band they are now. The synth indie rock style is not overly my brand of vodka shall we say but it was a good gig and Im glad I went to see them. Even downloaded all thier tracks and videos from thier website. Lead singer is pretty fit as well. Didnt really drink that much again on Thursday. Steve spent alot of the night stressing about getting his JBoss thing ready for deployment on Friday. Which he did manage to get done in time.
Up at 9am on Friday, went up to uni and handed the project in. At 10:30 there were still alot of people with mazes on thier screens.
Last night we went on a mini pub crawl, Spencer came along which is the first time Ive seen him in ages, he has had alot of work on recently. He spent near enough the entire night talking about AFF(Aber Fuck Fest) its an idea that came to him after watching alot of College Fuck Fest videos. He wants to set up in Aber getting drunk freshers to fuck at house parties. To be honest I think its an hilarious, if not greatly depraved, idea. Ive even offered up my video recorder for the purpose of filming.
The night was pretty good in the end, we went to Spoons, Steve was late due to him falling asleep. Other than that we got drunk. Had quite a few in Spoons, Spencer got embarresed when the bar maid overheard him talking about sex with animals. Moved over to The Mill, it was rammed so we didnt stay long. Went to Ship and Castle which thankfully was alot less full. Stayed in there for a long while, Fish started eating Cockles. Some werid old guy started rambling about King Philip or some other king. We went to the Bay. Sat in one of the side rooms all night, we dont dance. Its just not done. Got a kebab. My biggest mistake last night was drinking Red Bull and vodka, woke up a jibbering wreck at 4am, couldent get back to sleep for hours.

Today I have done fuck all. Watched a film, played some Silent Hill 3 and read a bit. Started writing a new book after an idea that came to when I found out about Jess's unfaithfullness. Its the standard violence peice, yeah I think the whole thing is bothering me more than I think. Which is only going to lead to trouble when I inevitable bump into her while pissed.
Blaggard [8:32 PM]

[ Thursday, December 11, 2003 ]

 
Tuesday night I went to RocSoc but had a quiet night, didnt really drink much. All the pub crawl lot sat around a table and played fill in the blanks game. Excellent, only about 4 or 5 of us could stomach beer again. Northern Paul turned up and I started buying him drinks. Came home and just collapsed in bed. No one was up and I was shattered. It was a good but quiet night, which is what everyone wanted I think. The commitee gave all the crawlers a rock with "I survived the RocSoc pub crawl" written on it. Hehe.

Emma was dressed as a vicar and trying to drag confessions out of people.

Wednesday was the Compsoc Xmas meal. Was a dignified affair. Me, Burt, Fish, Ally, Joe and Bethan. We all wore shirts and shit, thats how much we cared. Joe was late. Ally had an emotional crisis over Rich, turned out he didnt like some of the CompSoc photos which she posted up. Meh, over reacting clown. Fish and Rhi almost broke up. But they almost break up everyweek. After me, Burt, Fish, and Rhi went up to Reload. Was empty. WalkingClub were there on a social. Charlie pulled, John did his nut and got really depressed. Rachel pulled. I got bored. Didnt really drink much, few bottles. Was sober by the time I got home. But after my little run off to PJM that wasnt till about 3am. Im tired.

Going out to see the Hot Puppies later. Then will probably get Rik Wallered tomorrow for the last night of term. Then two days of just sitting about doing sweet fuck all. Steves birthday Monday. Clares back on Tuesday.

Time for some pro plus. Oh yeah, hand in my project tomorrow as well.
Blaggard [7:38 PM]

 
I found out last night that Jess cheated on me.

I went and sat in PJM computer room and took a long hard look at why she did. She cheated on me because I was uncaring jackass, its not like I didnt deserve. There is nothing to forgive here for she did nothing wrong.
Blaggard [11:38 AM]

[ Wednesday, December 10, 2003 ]

 
Ah finally sleep. It feels good not to have to get up for anything. Sweet sleep, first time in ages Ive slept till 12:30. Yes the RocSoc Xmas pub crawl. What a night, it was brilliant, easily the best night of the semester so far. Im going to write this one down with some care and consideration.

7:30 I arrived at Spoons, immeadiatly got grabbed by Paddy. "Ah your here for this right, whats the name?" I told him and literally five people went-----"Oh I know who you are!" Yeah it was werid to say the least. Finally got to put a few faces to names, met Niff, Bern, Ska-Rob, Moggy. All good people. I was surprised at how friendly they were to me considering Id only ever spoke to paddy in passing before as he is the Angel barman and he does the same course.
Drank two bottles of Corona while we waited for the others to turn up. Then they split us down into two groups. I got stuck Emlin(Rocsoc barman), Paddy, Rob, Northern Paul(this man drinks enough to make me shiver), another Rob, Bern, Emma(goth girl Ive had my eye for ages but never spoke to before) and Becky(girl from the isle of white who is up for anything). Took us to the bar. Had to drink a pint of Cider(eurgh). Rules were laid down, we played thumb master and freezemaster, standard you must drink with your left hand or we will do something horrible to you rule as well. Moved onto the Cambrian, lightsabers, got talking to a few people. A few thumbmaster related double aftershocks were handed out.
Acadamy, started talking to Emma in here, she ridiculed my choice of cigarettes, kept saying they were punk cigarettes. I happen to like the taste of Lucky Strikes. Made me drink Scrumpy Jack(once again eurgh) Northen Paul kept fucking up thumbmaster on purpose to get more shots and stuff thrown his way. We laughed, he was shit faced. He then proceded to tell me about his housemate. This guy has had his stomach pumped a couple of times since he got here in September, theyve told him to stop drinking in the days and only once a week, or he will be dead by the time he is 30. I think the same advice should go for my stupid drunken ass, but so far Im ignoring the doctors.
Moved onto the Angel, Emlin made us do some stupidly potent shot. Tasted like aniseed. We laughed at how few people were in metalsoc, went to inn of the pier. Drank Stella, Emma removed my shirt with her teeth only. Bar staff told me to get my clothes back on or to get out. Nice. From there we went to Downies Vaults for Vodka jelly. Went to Harleys, bottles o Grolsch. Walked with Emma to Varsity, seems we have a simaler occult background, both minor dabblers when we were young. Unlike me however she is a big beilever in astrology. Me and Rob got to know each other over a pitcher of carling. Each. Yeah we were both pretty steamed by this point. Went to Bay. I remember about 30 minutes of it. Went in, had a snakebite and black. Talked to Lesley, the pr girl, spoke to Ears housemate Dom who happened to be in there. I think we both agreed Ears was a clown for qutting. Yeah Im aware that I also almost quit so I cant be too judgemental of the poor lad. Spoke to Ed. Woke up.

Distinct smell of kebab. I immeadatily thats a bit strong, went down stairs got a glass of water, went backt o bed. Woke up a few hours later, still an awful kebab smell. After a bit of searching I found a half eaten pile of kebab meat under my desk. Eurgh, it was disgusting. Everyone from RocSoc proceeded to laugh their asses off when I told them that tale of drunken idiocy.
Blaggard [1:40 PM]

[ Tuesday, December 09, 2003 ]

 
Well no posts last week about my daily life of decadence and debauchery. I got some beers down. Reload is a fucking meat market. Yeah boring really, not much happened. Accept now I have a large quantity of halucagenics. Fuck knows what those things are going to do to me but we will see this week. Last night was the RocSoc xmas pub crawl, talk about it when I get home. It was a wild one to say the least. I lost some clothing somewhere along the route, people threw up, i drank four pints of beer in under 30 minutes. All in a nights work for a beligerant piss artist.
Blaggard [4:58 PM]

[ Monday, December 08, 2003 ]

 
Ah there are few things nicer than a crisp December morning.

Ill write a post about the last week this afternoon, gotta time on my hands now as project work is pretty much complete. Only need to go over documentation and print it out. Then its party party party.
Blaggard [10:12 AM]

[ Thursday, December 04, 2003 ]

 
Aberystwyth Welsh Language Protests......Again

Catrin. Met her. Shes fit. But just because shes hot doesnt mean shes not a Nazi.

Hehe.
Blaggard [3:29 PM]